DA:O The Warden's Secrets
by Integra Hawke
Summary: This is the story about a young girl who fell in love with her hero, was saved by a bastard prince, saved a kingdom and learned to love again. Follows the game loosely but with my own additions. Edited but still rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Dragon Age Origins

**The Warden's Secret**_  
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My name is Auriella Cousland and you should know that I am not like most girls my age. While they grew up riding ponies and learning to be proper ladies, I grew up around swords and arrows, learning archery and the proper use of a sword and dagger. As a child, I saw the majesty in every weapon I held, wanting nothing more than to be the best fighter I could become. I knew that despite the fact that I live in Highever, a coastland bannorn, north of the capital of Denerim in the west, the Korcari Wilds in the south or the snow covered Frostback mountain's in the east, a day would come when I would need to know how to fight. My father, Bryce Cousland, was one of the two Teryn's in the Ferelden, and was one of the highest ranking nobility other than the King himself. Our home was the Keep overlooking the Waking Sea. The region of Highever was surrounded by smaller villages and bannorns that owed allegiance to my family as well as he owed his all allegiance to the King of Ferelden. So while other girls dreamed of meeting Prince Cailan, I had practiced archery and sword drills with my older brother Fergus and cousin Roderick.

I had picked up my first bow at the age of four and took it with me everywhere I went. My uncle, William Gilmore, the Lord Mayor of the village surrounding castle Cousland, thought it was amusing, much to the dismay of my mother. I was given blunt arrows to practice with and soon even the chickens learned to give me a wide berth. I stole a dagger from my brother Fergus when I was six with a secret desire to learn to wield it. My father then decided that I should learn how to properly fight with my brother and cousin with the castle's weapons master. They believed that once I was properly bloodied, I would give up my foolish desires to fight yet on my first sparing match with Roderick, I accidentally broke his nose. Fergus decided that I could keep the dagger I stole as my first proper weapon. In time I surpassed them in skill and now had a new training Master, one who taught me the ways of being a rogue, in which I excelled.

I was fourteen when I met the Grey Warden who was coming to see our father, to recruit someone new into their ranks. The Grey Wardens were an old, noble order picked from all walks of life, be they human, elf or dwarf; noble, farmer or even a thief, it mattered not. They had to right to bring anyone into their ranks, so long as the Warden feels they are worthy to join. They can be found wherever they are needed and called no man King. Once they called the Anderfels home and bowed before its' King but when he refused to help his people, they abandoned him and took up arms against the evil that was threatening to destroy their homeland. The Chantry says that the darkspawn were mages who tried to enter the sacred Golden City and were cursed for their arrogance. Whatever they started out as, they were tainted, corrupted creatures that spread plague and death wherever they are found. This group of warriors fought and defeated the first Archdemon and with their death, the Grey Warden order was established. It is written that only the Grey Wardens could defeat an Archdemon, an ancient, false dragon-god who the darkspawn search for and once tainted by them, can lead a full-scale invasion. Ferelden had not seen a Blight in over 300 years and the need for Wardens had not been as pressing as it once was.

The Grey Wardens were recently allowed back into Ferelden by King Maric, after being banished 200 years ago for crimes no one can remember, all traces of which were lost or destroyed. Their ranks here were a far cry from what they once were, when it is said they rode mighty griffons into battle. It is considered a great honor to become a Grey Warden.

As everyone in the castle was rushing about to prepare for our guest, Fergus, Roderick and I were able to sneak out an unused entrance when our absence would not be noted. We were supposed practice inside in the barracks with the other men but we liked to be away from the watchful eye of the Weapon's Master. We were well away from the castle, outside in the forest besides the cliffs, in a clearing we liked to use that was surrounded by thick trees and far enough from both the village and the coastal road that we could practice undisturbed. We were not supposed to be there unless we had our guards with us but we were not untrained children who could not defend themselves and these woods were as much a home to us as the castle we came from.

There were several fallen trees that we used to shoot our arrows into and the surrounding trees were close enough that we did not fear a stray arrow would go farther than intended. Roderick was leaning against a nearby tree, nursing his sore arm. It had been his turn to spar against the two of us using a heavier Knights shield as opposed to the lighter one he was used to and it had taken its toll. While I tried not to hit him as hard as Fergus, my attacks were more frequent and he needed to pivot to counter both of us.

I removed the cloak I was wearing and used a twig I broke off from a nearby tree to hold my long red hair back in a temporary bun. I was dressed in similar clothes as Fergus and Roderick, in a dark tunic shirt, leather trousers and boots and could easily be mistaken for a boy if one discounted my long hair. I had bound my chest and was wearing extra padding under my tunic as I always did when I practiced with my older brother. It was rare if he managed to catch me unawares but I found it was best to be prepared and protected. I had my bow in hand and was about to start practicing when Fergus decided to test my aim by throwing old rag dolls we had found in the air. It was an old game we used to improve ourselves, one that I excelled at since I was the better archer of the three of us. I took my usual stance, closing my eyes and focusing my thoughts on what I was about to do. I opened my eyes and nodded at Fergus who threw them up in the air and one by one, I began to shoot them down. Most were stuck to the trees before I noticed a strange man watching us. He had come upon us so quietly, using the cover the trees provide. I could not figure out how he had come to find the clearing we were in and they had yet to spot him. I had seen a hint of movement in the trees and caught a glimpse of grey armor, but he had made no move to draw his weapons, just stood back and watched us.

I kept him in my sights and was about to address the intruder when Fergus approached me then with his blunt practice sword, as I was distracted by the man I did not recognize. I only had time to swiftly re-sling my bow onto my back and take out my two preferred shorter practice swords, similar to daggers. I was surprised to see a look of concern in the man's eyes that a taller, heavier boy approached me with a sturdier weapon than the ones I had, but I was not. I countered every sword stroke that Fergus thrust at me and soon had him backing away from my own.

_Silly Fergus,_ I thought as his one glancing blow to my head, only managed to free my hair. I was ducking away from his sword arm and his aim was lower than I had anticipated but it was the closest he had gotten so far. Roderick was laughing at Fergus for again trying to best me but was unable to. He backed off briefly but spun around and came back fiercer than before, angry that he had yet to land a blow. I had watched my teacher closely the last time we met and knew that now was the perfect time to try a new move I was taught. I could not afford for this fight to drag on and leave this stranger so close to us unchallenged. I blocked his sword with my left dagger, up and away from my body and spun around under his sword arm to avoid the shield bash I knew was to come, stepping behind him and bringing my other dagger around, stopping at his neck.

"Admit it. You're defeated, Fergus." I said.

Fergus was shocked at the point of my dagger so close to his throat and gulped loudly. "I yield," he whispered and dropped his sword. "Maker's breath! When did you learn to do that?" he asked as the man suddenly clapped and moved towards us. The whole time, I had not stopped watching him stand there hidden in the trees. He was far enough away that I was not overly concerned and he was just one man. Thought we were young, we could defend ourselves.

Fergus turned and started at the sound, while I already had taken out my bow once more and was notching an arrow. I heard, rather than saw Roderick struggle to his feet and knew that he was ready, sword in hand, as was Fergus. The stranger took a few steps towards us and held his hands up. I could see his daggers shining in his belt and watched to see that his hands not stray from where they were. Even though he had grey tunic and armor with the griffon symbol, only worn by the Grey Wardens, I was cautious and kept him in my sights should he try anything. Now that he was in the light, I took in his long dark hair, tanned skin and dark brown eyes, as well as the sword he had strapped to his back.

"I've seen your aim so I know that I cannot reach my weapons in time," said the stranger. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Duncan of the Grey Wardens. I am here to see Teryn Cousland." He gave a slight bow.

"The Grey Warden! Auriella, lower your bow!" cried Fergus, sheathing his broad sword. Reluctantly, I allowed my arm to lower slightly.

"Are you really a Grey Warden?" I demanded, serious.

"Do many people go around pretending to be Wardens?" he asked, rubbing his bearded chin, his deep voice light and with a smile. He then slowly lowered his hands but noticed that I still held my bow ready.

"Why should I believe you are a Grey Warden?" I asked. "You are sneaking through these woods before announcing yourself at the castle."

It was then that my father appeared. I had not noticed that Roderick had disappeared back to the castle to find him and his father. I must have been so focused on this stranger because hearing my father's voice caused me to slightly start, not as visible for all to see but enough that the so-called Warden noted. I chided myself for letting him encompass all my attention that I did not notice the arrival of my father, or even that Roderick had left. No one had ever attracted my attention so much that I lost all sense of my surroundings. _My master would be so_ _disappointed_, I told myself.

As my father came forward to greet the Warden, I quickly re-slung my bow before he saw me there, holding a weapon on the one man that everyone was so eager to meet. I gave a slight bow, turned and picked up my cloak before I walked back towards the castle. The guards gave me a reproachful look as we had slipped past them once again and were left unguarded. I only hoped that this visit would distract my father enough that he would not punish them for our leaving the barracks to practice in the clearing.

Fergus and Roderick stayed with father and uncle, asking Duncan question upon question about what a Grey Warden really was like silly boys instead of young men of 17 and 16. But Grey Wardens are heroes of legend and they could not pass up the opportunity to speak to one first hand. As curious as I was, I could not bring myself to stay and speak to the Warden. I knew that I would not be allowed to attend the Grey Wardens tests or even participate, since I was the only daughter of the Teryn, and he would surely refuse to fight me. The chance to go up against a fighter such as a Grey Warden was something I had waited my whole life for, a chance to prove myself.


	2. Chapter 2

_DUNCAN_

I have returned to Highever which was once my home long ago, ever on a quest to find recruit candidates for the Grey Wardens. I had sent word to Teryn Bryce Cousland that I would be visiting his bannorn to seek recruits and received word that many men were willing to undergo the trials. Thanks to the glowing words from King Maric, we were able to return to Ferelden and start to rebuild all that we had lost centuries ago. I was given the task of recruiting more men, for there were very few Wardens here in Ferelden and not many wished to travel from Orlais or the Anderfels. I found it hard to believe that now so many thought that to become a Grey Warden was such an honor.

_If only they knew…_

After many hours on the road alone, I found myself eager to do something other than ride the horse that found me so bothersome. I left it with a lad in the village and asked that he take it to the castle while I walked, eager to stretch my legs. I decided I wished to glimpse the Waking Sea from the cliffs, close to the castle and headed into the forest outside of the village. When I was close enough to Castle Cousland, I heard the unmistakable sound of laugher. I knew that the Teryn had children and I thought I would come upon them playing with a mabari pup, a war hound that could be found in many castles, but was surprised when an arrow flew past my head. I cautiously crept forward to witness three lads, each with bows and blunt practice weapons, sparing in an open clearing away from the castle walls. It was two against one and the lad was clearly quickly losing his stamina, using unfamiliar weapons. Finally the boy collapsed in a fit of laughter by a tree, dropping his sword and heavy shield while the smallest lad knelt to inspect his forearm. He waved the other away to continue their practice while he rested.

Upon closer inspection, I noticed that the smallest one in fact was a girl. She was tall for her age, with red hair that she had tied up tight in the back of her head. The oldest, dark haired lad had moved away and was picking up some very old rag dolls while the girl took a stance and readied her bow. It was almost too big for her to use, I thought.

_What are those for?___I wondered as he started to toss the dolls up randomly in the air. I was amazed as she quickly aimed at the dolls and soon they were all stuck through the body, pinned to the nearby trees.

_Amazing! _I thought. I could tell that these were not commoner children, for they all wore clothing that clearly stated they were noble, not the well-worn clothing of the villagers. And not really children. The girl was at least 14, while the lads were a bit older, 16 and 17 at most. That the girl wore a linen tunic and leather trousers, same as the boys, said that she was comfortable wearing something that most girls her age wouldn't dream of. When the last doll was gone, I knew that at least the girl had sensed that I was watching, but the dark haired boy took her distraction as a perfect time to attack her. He was clearly the oldest of the three, taller and broader than the girl but that did not concern her in the slightest as she took a step back from him. I almost walked out to stop him when she quickly changed weapons and soon was besting him. The girl was so skilled at such a young age, I thought, when she did something that I had not expected and the fight was over. The girl asked him to yield and the boy immediately dropped his sword and the other boy laughed at his defeat. I could not help but clap as I stepped forward. The two boys had not even noticed that I had been nearby but the girl! She had already reached for her bow, knowing that it was her best chance at defense. The boys recovered their weapons and turned to me as I made my way slowly towards them.

_She is so quick! _I thought, raising my hands to show that I was not going to attack by any means. From watching her alone, I knew she would easily use her bow before I could reach my daggers or my sword; I would not be quick enough. I quickly introduced myself and was amused that she doubted who I was.

_No one would claim to be such, surely?_ I asked myself. I saw the third boy, the one who did not practice with them, run off back to the castle but her attention was all on me. I could not think of what I could do to put her at ease and was a bit relieved when the Teryn and his brother appeared and the girl finally relaxed. I found it interesting that she gave the slightest movement when they appeared, as she had not noticed their arrival. Seeing that the men knew me, she gave a slight nod and walked away while the two came forward to ask questions. It was then that I learned who she really was.

"Where's Pup?" the Teryn asked the dark haired one, who I learned was called Fergus, his son.

"She was just here, father," said Fergus.

"She bested Fergus again!" Roderick joked, the other red haired boy, a cousin and he was quickly elbowed by the elder boy.

Bryce Cousland smiled. "I think your sister will best us all, one day soon." He said affectionately. He looked at me then and gestured that we should proceed towards the castle. It was a short walk back and there were more guards waiting outside the gates. It was then I realized that the three had been alone and understood the sullen looks the guards were giving the girl when she had left.

"She is your youngest, you say?" I asked as we walked inside. I had my hands clasped behind my back and I looked around the small courtyard, wondering if by some chance she would reappear. I was so intrigued by this young woman.

"My youngest and only daughter, yes. A bit of a tomboy, to be sure, but I will never worry that she cannot defend herself if the need should arise," he said affectionately.

"That she feels the need to be is entirely your fault." This came from a woman I assumed to be Teryna Eleanor, as she approached. I had not met her and bowed greetings to her. She was tall and fair skinned, with the similar hair as her daughter, though it was streaked with grey.

I learned that being the youngest, "Pup," as the Teryn affectionately called her, took up training at a very early age and was considered to have a natural talent. She was definitely the most talented rogue I had come across in all of Thedas and at such a young age, Duncan thought. Her mother, an archer herself, felt let down that she did not have the one child she wished to spoil.

"Tonight we will host a dinner in your honor, Duncan. Tomorrow, feel free to test the limits of the men who one day hope to be the next hero of Ferelden!" the Teryn stated and I was shown to my room on the second floor to rest. I was grateful for the time alone, to rest before the day that will no doubt be full of disappointment for many. I walked to the window and saw a small shape wearing a long cloak sneaking out to the horses and quickly ride away before the stable boy noticed. I could tell it was her, as her hood fell back as she rode away. I watched her ride out the castle gates, hair streaming behind her as the stable boy ran after her.


	3. Chapter 3

_AURIELLA_

As soon as I got back inside, I ran upstairs to my room and paced. What makes this man different? I did not see anything about him than any warrior I had ever met but I could not stop thinking of him. At least nothing I was willing to admit out loud.

Focus! I was appalled that I had been so captured by him that I did not notice my own father had come up behind me. That never happens, I thought. I paced and paced before a mirror and stopped to look down at myself. What must he be thinking? I was wearing what I was most comfortable in, a linen tunic shirt and leather trousers, hair loose still and upon closer inspection, smudges of dirt on my face! No different than a boy, I suppose.

I shook myself at the thought. I put down my bow and grabbed my cloak. I looked out my door and cautiously headed down the stairs. I needed to get out of the castle unseen, hiding behind curtains when servants walked by. It took longer than I had hoped and was appalled to hear my mother saying how I was not the proper girl I was supposed to be. She could only be talking to the Warden! My cheeks reddened as uncle spoke of my first bow and my how I carried it everywhere like it was a part of me. When they passed I almost ran into Fergus and Roderick and hid as they passed. I knew that as long as I was back before dinner was started, no one would know that I had snuck out. I made it to the stable and onto my horse before the poor stable boy saw me. I knew he would be angry with me later, but I would sneak out some of Nan's cake to him and he would be happy with me once again.

-)(-

I rode to my new training master's home, who lived outside of the village. Master Victorio was a secretive man who came to Highever not long ago yet I always knew there was more about him than he let on. Finally he confessed that he was not proud of his past as he was once a Crow, from the guild of assassins from faraway Antiva. He had been sent here to kill a bard many years ago, one who was once close to Maric, the rightful ruler of Ferelden who had been fighting to take back his throne from Orlais. The bard pleaded with my master, that she needed to settle her debt with Maric first and he saw that she loved Maric very much. He was so moved by her plea that he allowed her to go to the prince one last time. But for some unknown reason, Maric killed the bard and his mission went unfulfilled. This was not acceptable since he should have killed her. That he let her go and she was killed by someone else's hand was an offense worth his own death. He never returned to Antiva and ended up here in Highever.

I went in his home unannounced, as I always did and found him seated with a book of poetry. In every room of his home he had shelves and shelves of books and he had even converted the largest room into a library to utilize the windows that overlooked the garden we tended. It was the closest I had ever gotten into my studies of poisons and antidotes as my father had refused to allow me to follow the ways of my master. Instead he focused on all other aspects I would need. So vast was his collection that I had snuck a few of his books of herbs and poisons and could now identify them in his garden.

I sat by the window and picked up a different book left on the armrest and saw that it too was a book of poetry. Poetry was the one thing I could not wrap my head around. That women fell at the feet of men by being read such dribble was beyond my comprehension! He looked surprised to see me and reluctantly put his book down. I looked at him carefully, wondering as I always did how this man could have once been an assassin. I was unsure his exact age, yet I could only guess him to be around sixty yet he was still fit and as limber as any man half his age. He was tan with a full beard and kept his hair long, held back in a ponytail.

"I thought there was to be a great visit at your home today, young lady?" he asked, his eyes crinkling as I put the book on a nearby table and began to braid my hair instead. A sure sign that I was troubled by something that had occurred, he thought, but would wait for me to explain in my own way.

"There is. I don't know what the big deal is. He doesn't look like what I imagined a Grey Warden should look like." I stated, looking outside.

"And what would that be?" he asked, now curious for her to explain.

"Old, like you, perhaps?" I joked. I saw what I was doing and dropped my hair, mostly braided and got up.

"You wound me!" he laughed, clutching an imaginary stab. I

smiled but was still distracted. "Tell me, what troubles you?"

I knew he could see the doubt on my face so I said softly, "I was distracted."

"YOU were distracted? Such a rarity! This Warden must be worth meeting then!" he laughed as I blushed. "A rather handsome fellow, was he?" he asked quietly as he leaned forward to judge my reaction.

"It's not funny! I raised my bow at him, Master! From what I understand, he should have easily disarmed me yet he chose not to. Nor did he tell father that I did." I could not stand still, recalling everything I had ever heard or read about Grey Wardens. Everything they did seemed so larger than anything else I had ever known, and here one was and he was like no other man I had ever known.

"He watched you practice, no? He witnessed that you are a worthy opponent and not some idle damsel expecting to be rescued. There are too few of you, my dear. And about being able to easily disarm you, even I am having difficulty in that!" he laughed again.

"High praise, indeed." I stopped and glanced at him. "So when can I start my next level of training?"

He sighed, grinning yet easily got to his feet. Being old did not slow him down. "We can start now if you like? Let us go to the clearing for room."

I hugged him. Everything about him changed then. Gone was the humorous confidant. There was nothing but seriousness in the face of my teacher. I knew that the next lessons would be difficult but I had asked for them.

-)(-

I barely got back in time to dress for the dinner my mother had planned in honor of the Grey Warden. I knew I was expected to be the proper lady and wear a dress; most days it would not be so bothersome had I not been thrown around all afternoon. It was a blessing to remove as much dirt I could before being forced into the newest dress mother had made. There was far too much fabric and nowhere to hide at least a bloody dagger! The only thing I could not complain about was the color. It was a beautiful shade of green. I quickly managed to brush all the knots out of my hair when dinner was called. I knew I could take my time as father and his guests would all be in the main hall. No doubt Fergus and Roderick were there as well. I walked down the stairs slowly, feeling silly and still a little sore from my lessons that afternoon.

I wandered into the dining hall and found everyone about to sit. I was not surprised to find that I was seated next to the guest of honor. No doubt my mother had something to do with that, her knowing that I would be forced to be on my best behavior for our esteemed guest. I also saw Arl Howe and his eldest son Nathaniel were at the other side of the table.

Arl Rendon Howe was from the arling of Amaranthine not far from Highever. Long ago, archived at close to 900 years ago, Highever had once been merely a part of a growing outpost of the Bannorn of Amaranthine, before it became an arling and was held by cousins of the Howe's. When Bann Elstan had been murdered by his wife, his captain of the guard, a Cousland, took his lands and title when no one came forward to claim them. The Couslands later declared their independence and now possess half the lands that were once part of Amaranthine. When the Orlesian Emperor took the Ferelden throne from King Calenhad, leaving a cruel puppet to rule instead, the Couslands sided with the Rebel Queen who was the granddaughter of Calenhad and rightful heir while the Howe's had sided with the Orlseians. It was later that Arl Howe had fought besides my father to end the occupation of Ferelden and despite the fact that most nobles disliked the man, my father considered him a close friend.

I, on the other hand, did not enjoy his company yet his son had become a close friend. I smiled, remembering all the archery "tournaments" that we had had here in the past that Nathaniel and I competed against each other. He alone was as good with his bow as I was. Arl Howe looked peeved that I was not seated next to Nathaniel, as I usually am, but I was relieved to be away from that retched man. He practically threw his son at me every time we were together and contrived ways for us to be alone. If not for archery, we would have nothing in common. He was so shy and his father was quite horrible company.

I sat down carefully, hoping that the dinner went quickly and that I would be allowed to leave soon after. To endure a long dinner in such a dress was something I could not bear. And not have to make polite conversation, which I was so terrible at, as my mother so loved to remind me. But it seemed that the Warden had much to ask, much to my dismay. Then the oddest thing happened. I found myself forgetting the awful dress and even my sore limbs. We started talking and I even forgot the table around me. He told he almost didn't recognize me as the same person who pointed a readied bow at him just this afternoon. I quickly apologized and he told me that the dress matched my eyes, to which I blushed.

After dinner, when I was trying to disappear, the Warden asked me to call him by his name. I had not noticed that I was calling him Warden all night, as that is what he was. It seemed odd to me, calling him by his name. My father then called for drinks in the main hall and I took my leave at last.


	4. Chapter 4

_DUNCAN_

I was beginning to dread the night when dinner was finally called. The Teryn is a gracious man but his choice in dinner companions is much to be desired. Arl Howe kept mentioning how this castle used to be in his family. It was easy to see that Howe was jealous but since they had fought side by side once, the Teryn was able to overlook his friend's words and actions. I was told that his son showed much promise with a bow as well and that there were many bets made and lost as to when the two competed. From what I could see, the boy was shy and happy to be left alone, well away from Fergus and his cousin, who much preferred swords to archery. To see his face light up once, I had to see what captured his attention and was very pleased to see the Teryn's daughter had finally joined us for dinner.

I had gone down to ask the stable boy where she snuck off to in such a hurry. I was given directions to where she might be and decided to go out into the village to locate the home my family had left so long ago. I wore a dark cloak so as not to attract attention to myself as I wandered around the vast village. Even after all this time away, there were sights that would remind me of my childhood and of the family I had lost long ago. I followed the stable lad's directions and found her with a man who was unmistakably Antivan and knew then who was training her. The fact alone that her master was a former Crow was very interesting to learn. I could not get as close to watch them as I had that afternoon but it was obvious she was his only student and she was indeed as gifted as her father said. Even after a few rough tumbles, she would easily get back up and return to the lessons. I knew that soon, she would be worthy to be called the best fighter I had seen in a long time.

It was even better than I could hope for, that the Teryna had seated her next to me. I saw that she noticed the only open seat was by me and not by Nathaniel Howe, who she smiled at as she entered the dining room. I also saw Arl Howe attempt to sit next to me so that she could sit next to his son but the Teryna called him to sit by her to chat, much to his anger. I watched as she walked slowly yet gracefully to her chair and I held it as she sat. I could not stop noticing how the dress matched her eyes, or that her hair was even better now that is was brushed out.

"I dare say, I almost did not recognize you," I found myself saying to her, gesturing to her dress.

"Yes, even I am forced to dress for such occasions as these, I'm afraid." She admitted.

"If I may say, the dress matches your eyes, and yet I did not think one could hide a weapon in such a gown." I smiled.

"Believe me, I tried," she said and we both laughed.

"Well I for one am thankful not to be at the pointed end of one of your weapons for a second time today," I said as I drank from the wine I finally noticed was in front of me. _Maker, when did that get there? _I thought.

She blushed and quietly apologized for this afternoon. I held up my hand and said that there was no harm done.

"It is not every day that someone points an arrow at me that I feel even I cannot dodge," I told her.

"You think you are fast enough to dodge my arrows, Warden?" she asked, hiding a smile behind her linen napkin.

"I'd be willing to try but from seeing you this afternoon, I know I would fail!" I admitted.

"I find that hard to believe as you are a Grey Warden, are you not?" she also got her glass and drank.

"You still don't believe that I am a Warden?" I asked her. "I'm not as young as you think, my lady." I hated to admit it, hated feeling old then. "If I must admit it, I am 32. An old man indeed."

She smiled at me again as the food was placed in front of us. It was hard to recall half of the food I ate, as I tried not make a total fool of myself. I tried very hard not to stare at her and often found her mother smiling in our direction, while also noticing Arl Howe's glaring as we spoke. I must admit, I did not want the evening to end so that I could sit by her side and listen to her speak. When the dinner was over, the men were called for drinks in the main hall and I could see she would not be joining.

"Have a good evening, Warden," she said as she was about to take her leave.

"Duncan. Please, call me Duncan." I told her.

"Good evening…Duncan."


	5. Chapter 5

_AURIELLA_

_Was that a dream? _I asked myself. Slowly, I began to undress, more careful than I usually am with the dresses my mother makes me wear. I put on a simple tunic dress and started the slow stretches my master taught me to do to relieve stress and relax the muscles. Even with such slow movements, I knew that what I really needed what a warm bath. I carefully went down to Nan's quarters in a long robe, so as not to have the servants drag so much warm water all the way up to my room. She knew that I would need one and had already started warming up the water for me. There was a small room that I had had asked for a large wash basin to be placed in for such occasions. Mother did not like when I used it but she was not the one in dire need at such late hours.

"He is not what you expected, is he, my lady?" Nan asked.

"No, he isn't. He is something different." I admitted as she began to brush my hair.

"I for one am glad that you are still young and that your father would never allow you to join the Wardens. It is one thing to allow you to learn to fight, but to give up everything your family has built is not something your mother would want. And he does not look like he will easily be anything but a Grey Warden," she said. She did not realize that she planted an idea in my head. "It's best if you stay and marry Nathaniel Howe, as we all expect."

"I do not wish to be related to his horrible father!" I exclaimed.

"Nathaniel is a sweet boy and nothing like his father," she pointed out.

"I want something more than to marry sweet Nathaniel. Maybe nothing as glorious as becoming a Grey Warden, but do something other than host parties and make babies." I told her.

"Don't let your mother catch you saying that or you'll never pick up a weapon for the rest of your life!" she said, brushing my hair harder as if to make a point.

I left her to go on about things she overheard from the maids of the other guests at dinner. I cared not at all. As the water cooled, I found myself reluctant to get out of the water. Nan brought me warm milk as I left to climb the stairs. I only hoped that I could calm my mind enough to let me sleep. I needed to find a way to include myself in the trials tomorrow.

-) (-

It was easy to see that many men would not pass the Wardens test. I had seen many of them fight and they did not impress me. Should they desire it, Fergus or Roderick would soon be worthy fighters, if they were willing to work harder at it but in truth, Fergus was expected to lead father's men. Roderick was shy and tended to live in the shadow of Fergus. I had often encouraged him to continue his training with his bow but Fergus had long ago declared that they would train as knights, to be champions of Highever, for the Maker and glory!

At the end of the day, there were fewer men eager to challenge a Grey Warden. I had seen many limp away and was curious when no more men came out of the barracks hall. I was just glad that many walked away with little damage to anything more than their pride. My curiosity finally got the better of me and I stuck my head in and found no one left. I could see it had been a long day and was about to leave when the Warden saw me by the doorway.

"You missed the trials. Sadly, there are to be no recruits," he said.  
>"Were the trials difficult?" I asked, stepping into the room but staying by the door.<p>

"They need to be," he said.

"And why is that?" I asked.

"To be a Warden, you need to defeat a warden." I looked at him curiously and he admitted, "At least, that was how I was chosen."

"None of these men could defeat you?" I raised an eyebrow. "How tired are you?"

"Why do you ask?" he seemed curious now.

"I challenge you." _Maker help me, why did I do that?_ I asked myself.

To my surprise, he nodded. "Just so you know, your father will never allow it."

"That doesn't mean I still cannot try, does it?" I was happy now that I spent my day doing light training, not anything that would cause me to be sore at this point.

He stood at the center of the room and looked at me, smiling. "Begin."

I slowly walked towards him, taking my time with my weapons and did not rush him, as he expected. I slowly circled, making my way over to him and soon we fought. He countered every strike as I countered his. I was happy to find that he was indeed an excellent fighter and while I had no hope of winning, he was not simply allowing me to best him. I think I surprised him but in the end, I found myself against the wall with him very close to me. He did not move away from me and I could not move at all. I was entirely at his mercy. My hair was loose once again and I was breathing hard. He leaned into me and pressed his face close to mine, breathing in the smell of my hair.

"_Maker's breath_," he simply said. I closed my eyes and held my own breath, not wanting him to move. But the moment passed and he left the room. I slid to the floor in a daze.


	6. Chapter 6

_DUNCAN_

I had no choice but to leave the bannorn as quickly as my horse would take me, to save me my sanity. A Warden, yet still a man and I could not stay. Yet no matter how far away I traveled, I could not help but think of returning.

I returned over a year later and paid a messenger to deliver a pair of iron bark fighting sticks, along with a few other items as thanks for my previous visit. I could not find a reason for a proper visit and knew that sending just the gift for her to be inappropriate. Yet I had found myself in Highever once again, hearing of a few men near the Cousland's land who were caught stealing yet were said to have great skill. I easily found the clearing that I had once seen her practice with her teacher long ago, and there she was. Early morning and you can tell she had been training longer than most had been awake. Sixteen now and already the best fighter I had ever witnessed. She was dressed simply in a red tunic dress with a black hooded cloak low over her eyes. She held her bow as if it was a part of her arm, her aim as true as it was then. But this time she was alone. Fergus was no doubt in Denerim, a young man at court.

Too late, I noticed the targets placed on various trees and tried to move quickly away before she started and not disrupt her concentration. Before I could take a step back, she let her arrows fly, hitting all her marks without missing one. I was forced to duck as a few were close to me. I stood when I was certain she had run out of arrows only to notice the tree behind me had not one, but three arrows stuck to it, with no target on it. _She aimed at me!_ I quickly turned back to her and was shocked as she removed a blindfold. _She did not use her sight for any of those shots! _

Making more noise than I wished to, I moved through the trees towards her. She was standing, still facing away from me with her head hung slightly forward yet I could see a slight smirk on her lips.

"It is nice to see you again, Warden," she said as she turned her face to me finally, bowing her head in welcome.

"It is nice to see that you have improved even more since last we met," I told her. Indeed I was impressed at what I had witnessed.

"I have done nothing but train since you left so quickly, _Warden_," she turned and leaned her bow against a tree nearby. _When I fled_, she means. I had been lucky to hear then of a lad close to the bannorn who was good with broad swords and gave the excuse that I needed to speak to his family about testing him.

She was deliberately not calling me by my name as I had asked but was afraid to question why. I saw the glint of wicked daggers in her belt and knew that if her aim had improved, so had her use of them.

"I left to test a farmer's boy named Baric, not far for here." I knew it was a poor excuse, even if it was the truth.

"And was Baric able to defeat you, Warden?" she asked as she also removed her quiver. I was beginning to be concerned that she was doing so, since it would be more a hindrance to her without arrows to use.

"I must admit that I was distracted and no match for his use of heavy swords." I flinched at the memory of his sword blows.

"Swords?" she asked.

"Yes, he used two large broad swords. Most men I've tested only use one. I was lucky not to lose my head." I admitted.

Finally she moved closer to me but stopped and removed her daggers. "Shall we duel, Warden? There are no walls to stop me this time." She smiled, so sure in her stance. "And I only have these two daggers."

_She knew_. I groaned inwardly. I could not back away gracefully. And I could not be sure how much I could….

This time she leapt at me, narrowly missing me, with her daggers extended in the other direction so as not to actually stab but to hit with the hilt. I dodged away as she swept me with her leg. I barely caught myself from her next attacks and was again amazed. She dodged my daggers by doing several back flips away and landing surely with her blades still secure in her hands. Soon we clashed blades and there was no holding back. I was certain that if she truly wished, she could have drawn blood several times but I could see she was truly enjoying the fight. I knew I had to give it everything I had or she would not be satisfied with a draw.

I was distracted briefly and she managed to disarm me of my left dagger, losing her own in the process. Quickly I grasped her wrist and spun her around, pinning her closely to me and keeping her other hand away. I knew it was the wrong move as soon as I did it but I knew I did not want to hurt her. She struggled against my arm and even bashed her head backwards into my face but with the cushion of her hair, I was able to avoid a broken nose. I still saw stars but refused to let her go. I could feel her heart beat faster, feel her every breath when suddenly she sagged, falling closer to me. I was forced to hold her up as she dropped her other dagger. I was unsure why she had finally given up when she grabbed my hand and held it against her face. I could not stop myself from leaning forward and burying my face in her hair.

What seemed like ages as I called myself a fool; that I should not be here, with her. Before I could think, I spun her around and moved her back up against a tree, pushing her harder than I wanted and kissing her. I had thought of nothing but this kiss since the last time we met and then I was smart enough to move away from her before I closed the distance to her lips. _How I had wanted to kiss those lips!_ Duncan thought. I tried to stop and move away only to find her arms locked behind my neck, pulling at my hair. She was up on her toes to be closer to me, kissing me as fiercely as I was kissing her. I moved back and saw that her lips were bruised and still she moved forward to kiss me.

For so long I had been searching for something and now here I had found her, here in the place I had once called home and I knew she should never be mine. But for now, as I looked into her eyes, I could see that she saw the same in me and I could not let her go.


	7. Chapter 7

_AURIELLA_

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked, looking at me as I measured the length of my hand with his.

I looked up at him and kissed his palm again. "What are you going to do with me?" I laughed. "I think we need to find an explanation to give my father or he may have you drawn and quartered!"

He groaned when I reminded him of my father. He dropped his head back heavily, thinking of just that. It made me doubt that he felt the same for me as I felt for him and I was suddenly eager to get away from him.

"Do not worry, warden, I will not inform him of what has happened between us. I do not expect you to bend knee just to keep you at my side!" I angrily said, moving away from him but was caught in his strong arms and he brought me back to him.

"You must know that I love you more than life itself!" he said, stroking my hair. "I can die a happy man tomorrow now that I have found you, love."

I glanced up at his face, seeing the tender look on his face. I sat up and managed to bring my knees to my chest. "But you are a Grey Warden. This cannot be changed, nor do I want you abandon your task. You are meant for honor and glory!" I said, hugging my legs.

"I was not always a Grey Warden." He turned my face towards him. "Once I was a thief. I was conscripted into the Wardens when I was 18. I did…something I am not proud of and was going to be put to death when the Warden Commander conscripted me." He looked at my hair. "I would not have been worthy of you then. Being a Warden gave me the opportunity to travel about and helped me to finally find you. If there was some way…"

"You are worthy of me." I said softly. "It is I that am not worthy of you, Warden. Even now I wonder if this is a dream. To have you here now, telling me you love me," I sighed and looked at the sky. It had gotten late. "Come now, Warden. I do not think I can manage my horse alone. I will need your help and we need to get to the castle before they send a search party out for us."

-)(-

Duncan walked besides my horse as he had left his own at the gate when he arrived. I had hoped to get inside without too much commotion but as fate would have it, Roderick was in the stables when we arrived.

"Cousin! What happened to you?" he asked, helping me down.

"It was entirely my fault," said Duncan. "I walked out in front of her and she was thrown from her horse."

Roderick looked at Duncan and back to me. "Is this true?"

"Yes, of course! I was paying more attention to my targets than to where the horse was going and almost trampled the Warden!" I turned back to Duncan and bowed my head. "I thank you again for your help, Warden. And I apologize for almost running you down. I hope to see you again at dinner." I held onto Roderick and walked away as Duncan dismounted.

Roderick walked me into the castle before speaking to me again. "You do not easily get thrown from your horse, cousin."

"Things are known to happen, dear Roderick. I am lucky not to have broken my neck, or my bow!" I laughed.

He stopped me and looked at me closely. "Did he touch you, cousin?"

"Do I look so helpless? There is not a man alive who can force himself on me and still live, is there?" I was sure he saw through my lies, yet hoped he believed me. "I can manage on my own now. If mother sees me she will not let me meet my master for at least a month!" I walked away as quickly as I could without showing that I was stiff. When he was far enough away, I slowed and limped to the kitchen, asking Nan to warm some water for me. She looked at me and promised to bring it to my chambers.

"Not too much water, Nan. I just want to clean up a bit." I made my way back up to my room. Once there, I sat and began to brush out my hair, waiting for Nan to bring me water to use.

"I see the miss took a tumble," she said as I began to remove more and more leaves from my hair.

"Yes, I did. And I almost killed the Warden as well, Nan. What would they say about me, killing someone such as the Warden with a horse?" I laughed.

"No doubt using that bloody blindfold again!" she said as she was walking out the door.

I locked the door, slowly removing my cloak and ruined tunic. I poured the water into a basin and sat down and soaked a rag to begin cleaning as best as I could. I washed my arms and neck, feeling the bruises that I would have to carefully nurse for the next few days. I used a salve my master had taught me to make for just such occasions. With it, my muscles started to feel warm and soon I knew my bruises would fade. I put on another tunic dress and tossed the ruined tunic in the fireplace. I grabbed my cloak and searched the inside pocket for the dagger I took from Duncan. I cradled it and laid down on the bed, allowing the warmth of the salve to relax me and fell into a fitful sleep.

-)(-

I slept until dinner and felt much better once I awoke. When I went down to the dining hall, I was pleased to find Duncan had stayed for dinner. We were the last to enter the hall and he offered me his arm.

"I seem to have misplaced a dagger," he whispered to me.

"Oh? Are you sure you did not forget it in the woods?" I whispered back.

"I have already looked for it back…..where we dueled and could not find it." He reached into his belt and took out a silverite locket. "I did find this."  
>"It's very beautiful, Duncan, but it's not mine." I said, taking it and looking at it closely. The face depicted a griffin and a rose. I found the latch and opened the locket, seeing a miniature portrait inside. Of myself!<p>

I quickly looked up at Duncan and he took it back, handing me another locket. It was the same locket, but with a picture of himself in it. He blushed as I touched the picture, smiling. "It must have been very difficult for you to sit for this, but I thank you. I will treasure it." I looked at his locket again. "Do you know what your locket is missing, Warden?"

He chuckled as I pulled a very small knife out of my sleeve and cut a piece of my hair and handed it to him. He smelled the strands and curled them around his finger to place into his locket. "Perfect." He quickly placed it into his tunic, removing the second, remaining dagger he had in his belt.

"I believe my lady should have a matching set," he said as he gave me his dagger. I blushed and it quickly went up my other sleeve, hidden away until I could inspect them alone.

I could see that my cousin was searching for me as I entered, as his eyes reacted at seeing me enter with Duncan. This time, I would not be seated beside him, but across from him, next to Nathaniel, who had arrived when I was out of the castle. I looked around and was happy that once again, his odious father was seated far, far from me. _Poor mother,_ I thought as I took my seat. I smiled as Nathaniel asked me about my training, as he had heard that I had taken to using a blindfold.

"Did I hear correctly, my lady? You were thrown from your horse this afternoon?" he asked.

"Word does get around, I see." I smiled that everyone was talking about my clumsiness for once.

"Yes, well, your cousin told me you rode in with the Warden. I am relieved to see you unharmed." He looked across the table to where Duncan was seated. "He does seem to pop up in the most unusual places to have come across your horse as such."  
>"Yes, well, that teaches me to mind my surroundings from now on," I was eager to end the discussion.<p>

"If I may be so bold," he continued. "May I have a demonstration?"

"Of what?" I could not imagine what he could be referring to and hoped it had nothing to do with Duncan, who watched us talk rather intently.

"When I heard you had started to use a blindfold, I could not imagine how one could do so and be so accurate," he explained.

I was relieved and smiled. "Certainly. But it's not so difficult. It is all a matter of knowing where your targets are and listening to the sounds around you." I said, looking at Duncan, remembering hearing him creep up on my practice, not knowing what I was attempting. But I was certain that of my aim to be sure and that he could easily block my arrows, even if he once claimed he could not.


	8. Chapter 8

_DUNCAN_

The dinner was not as I had hoped. She was seated across from me this time, next to Nathaniel Howe, who seemed eager to speak to her about nothing at all, so long as she spoke._ I know what that is like,_ I thought, remembering the last meal I had at this table. Teryn Cousland was asking if I had found more recruits and I said that few were found but I could not halt my search. He was certain that it wasn't for the lack of trying, seeing the amount of lads who had lined his door, eager to be tested by the Grey Warden the last time I was here. Had I given more of an announcement to when I would return, he was certain there would be more still.

But after what had happened this afternoon, what I had allowed to happen…..I had lost myself, something I had not allowed myself to do in a very long time. I should have known better, to stay away from her and now… _How can I live with myself after that?_

I looked across the table as she drank her wine and I inwardly groaned in discomfort. _I must leave here at once,_ I thought.

She looked up me and smiled. I knew what she was thinking, as well. I saw her cousin looking at me closely as well and I knew he knew my intentions. I quickly brought my attention back to the Teryn and his other guests, who were asking if I knew King Cailan, Maric's son who was newly crowned since his father's death.

"Yes, I have known him since he was a child," I said.

Bryce looked at his daughter and laughed. "We met with Maric and the prince on occasions when we traveled to Denerim. Cailan tried to take Pup's bow once and she hit him smartly on the head, much to my dismay! Maric only laughed and told Cailan he should apologize to Pup for not asking to see her bow first. Still, she would not let him have it and off they went to the armory where I'm told he showed her all the swords he could not wait to use. I was more than a bit worried when I found the prince balancing an apple on his head and Pup with an arrow in hand. He must have been 14 at the time." I smiled, thinking how I was not entirely shocked to hear of that. Cailan was always willing to try anything a beautiful woman asked of him; Anora, his wife, made sure that she had full control of everything but the armies. That he held onto, having to fight his advisor, her father Teryn Loghain, as well. I pictured her then, as a child. She was a beauty when I first saw her, even dressed up as a boy, and must have been a beautiful child as well.

The evening dragged on as I was eager to find any excuse to leave, until one was given to me, after dinner had ended. I found myself face to face with her cousin. He didn't speak to me outright, at first. I think he was searching for the words that would be most effective in getting his point across. I drank some of my wine, waiting to hear what he had to say.

Finally he blurted out. "You're going to break her heart!"

I choked on the wine, trying to think of an excuse to counter what he said, thankfully not loud enough for all to hear.

"I don't know what…"

"Do not think me a fool, Warden. I see the way my cousin looks at you, and you her. But I know that being a Warden means never being a husband and she deserves better than that. Knowing that you will leave her a young widow is not something I wish to put my cousin through," he spoke, softly. "I think it's best if you leave, Warden. It will break her heart now, but better that than when she can no longer live without you."

I sighed. "I know I cannot stay with her or be the man she needs me to be. I can see that you love your cousin very much, so I leave her happiness to you." I put down my glass and turned to see him looking at another with sadness in his eyes. I followed his glance, at Nathaniel Howe, wondering what he had to do with anything when it dawned on me. He loved Nathaniel. But Nathaniel obviously loved his cousin and he would not do anything to jeopardize that.

"You speak to me of love when you cannot have your heart's desire, friend," I told him.

"I know what I want is something I cannot have," he admitted. "I will be of age to undergo your trials in a few years, Warden. I only hope you return so that I may take them."

"Are you sure?" I asked him. He tore his eyes away from Nathaniel and looked at me.

"Yes! Because I cannot bear to see him marry my beloved cousin!" he pleaded with great sadness in his eyes.

Upon mentioning the possibility of her marrying someone as unworthy of her as Nathaniel Howe, my heart broke a little more. I placed my hand on his shoulder. "You have my word."

I left him to make my excuses to the Teryn that I would be leaving to seek out the recruits I had almost forgotten. Had I stayed, surely I would have found them swinging from the gallows before I was able to test them.


	9. Chapter 9

_AURIELLA_

I was alone in my room, still balancing the weight of the daggers when I heard sounds outside. I looked out and saw Duncan getting on his horse once again.

_Surely he means to say goodbye! _I thought as he rode away. I threw on my cloak and dashed out to my own horse and quickly overtook him outside the village. I could hear the guards not far from me but I had asked to speak privately with him and they moved away.

"Duncan! Duncan! Where are you going?" I could not believe that he would not even look at me.

"You know that I must go. I cannot stay," he simply said.

"Not even after…."  
>"What I did was wrong!" he shouted, to me or to himself.<p>

"Do you not care for me? Tell that you do and I can hope to see you again. I must know." I pleaded.

"You should not love an old man," he said. "One who will die before you are truly a warrior." He looked at me finally, resolute and unmoving.

I let a tear fall and tore the locket from my neck, throwing it to him. "Then I need nothing to remember a man who thought to take his pleasure from me and not love me in return. Feel lucky that I did not bring my bow instead!" I turned my horse around and rode back to the castle, not seeing the look of absolute sadness on Duncan's face.

_I am such a fool!_ I raged. _I loved him but he never loved me!_

I ran to my room and did something I had not done in a very long time. I cried.

-) (-

A year has passed and still foolishly I held out hope that he would return and admit he loved me. After many months, I felt my heart grow cold and I lost myself to my training. My master stated that he had nothing left to teach me and that he doubted there was a warrior alive who could. Still, he was a worthy sparring partner and we met daily in the clearing near the village. One day, my master did not show and instead I found an elf, a few years older than I was. He was squatting, inspecting the ground and yet I knew he was waiting for me.

"Are you looking for someone, stranger?" I had my hands close to my daggers, hoping I would not need them.

"I was looking for a man who I was told resided here for many years. It seems he is no longer here, a man similar to myself. Do you know of such a man?" he asked. I recognized his accent and feared he was referring to my master. He got up and dusted his hands on his leather jacket. He was tanned and athletic with shoulder length light blondish brown hair.

"I do not know many elves, ser," I gestured to the clearing. "And there is no one else around."

"Then I will leave you to your leisure, my lady," he bowed and left. I waited till I could no longer see him and ran to my master's house. As I feared, it felt empty even with all his possessions still in place.

"Now why am I not surprised to see you here?" I spun around to find the elf coming from deeper inside the house.

"How do you know this is not my home?" I asked, trying to place a table in between us as he came closer to me. He had removed his jacket, placing it on a chair between us. I could see daggers at his waist.

"Because I know whose house this is and you do not live here. My only wonder is who you are…a mistress perhaps?" he grinned. "Or a pupil?"

"He was not so old that I would find him repulsive," I lied. "He was a very generous lover." _Forgive me, master._

"I never said he wasn't. Very proficient to the needs of his lovers," the elf said. I was beginning to wonder if there was more to his past that my master had still kept from me.

"Should I be jealous?" I was beginning to also wonder the chances of leaving the house alive, if he was indeed one like my master.

"Of one as lovely as you, I think to be jealous of an old man who allows you to be anywhere but at his side." He looked again at me closely. "Come now. Why would you lie to me, I wonder?"

"I have not lied to you, ser. But I wonder why you are here, uninvited?" I was truly frightened for my master now.

"Oh, come now. We both know that one cannot stay hidden forever and Victorio is a man who is hard to miss." I threw a vase that was near my hand at him, hoping to distract him, to give me time to reach my daggers. The area limited me, surrounding me with too many obstacles. He jumped back and he grabbed his daggers, similar to ones my master used. He saw that I recognized them.

"So, you do indeed know what I am." He dodged my attacks, as I swung wildly at him.

"Someone who has come to murder an old man, is all I care to know!" I kicked away a table to give myself more room.

"It is hard to murder someone who is supposed to be dead." He too was moving around clumsily, furniture also blocking his mobility.

"Murder is still murder."  
>"Surely you know the man who lived here was such," he swiped at me and I bumped into a stool. "One who was paid to murder others."<p>

I kicked it out of the way. "He has given up his past and repented to the Maker." I said, free once again to advance.

"And took the time to train you, I see," he smiled as I narrowly missed him yet again. "For that alone, he must die. Surely you know this."

"I know no such thing!" I yelled at him.

"To divulge the secrets he has mastered is what has brought me here today." He watched to see if what he said had meaning to me. It did.

"So if he had not taken a pupil, you would have left him alone?" I stopped and looked at him.

"Why, yes." I could see that he spoke the truth.

"Where is my master?" I then asked, daggers at my side.

"In truth, I am not sure. I was sent to find his pupil and deal with them." He moved as I stuck at him again, only to have him disarm my left dagger. It fell on the nearby table and I quickly swiped with my remaining dagger, more as a distraction to try to reach it but found my hand pinned cleanly to the table with his dagger. I looked up at him and held my dagger at the ready, noticing the thin line of blood running from the tear I made with my last swing. I could not move, not wanting to damage my hand any more than it already was. Through it all, I did not scream in pain, just stood there with murder in my eyes, until I realized I was starting to feel woozy.

"You are a worthy opponent," the elf said as he re-sheathed his dagger.

"I'm not done yet," I tried to say bravely, but in truth I was certain I was about to die.

"Certainly not, my dear woman," said the elf. He then reached into a bag that was by him and quickly bit into an herb I did not recognize. He chewed the herb as he tore more of his shirt, leaving his chest bare, and in my altered state, I could do nothing more than stare at his various tattoos. He cautiously approached me and took the dagger out my hand. Without it, I placed my hand on his chest to steady myself and looked at him.

He then leaned into me and kissed me deeply. I could taste the bitterness of the herb on his tongue but it did not stop me from kissing him back just as eagerly. _He was an excellent kisser, _I could not help but think. I could feel the herbs effects as they slid down my throat when he moved away.

Distracted as I was, I still felt as he pulled out the dagger pinning my hand. He poured ointment over the wound, covered it with the linen he tore and looked at me again.

"Why?" I asked him, realizing that he had given me the counter-toxin to the poison that had coated his daggers.

"One does not easily kill a beautiful woman who is also a worthy opponent, my dear. Victorio has chosen you wisely." He had tied the linen but still held my hand.

"You think I am beautiful?" I asked, still woozy.

"Who could think otherwise? I'm sure the thought had crossed even Victorio's mind, had you not been his student," he said and I could heard something change in his voice.

I looked up to see him studying my face closely, not moving away. I closed the distance and took his mouth once again. I could no longer taste the herb thankfully, just kissed him and felt something I had not felt in many months. _He desires me,_ I thought. It had been so long that I had allowed myself to become close to anyone and here was a stranger who desired me. In all my training, I could not distract myself from the loss I felt and here and now I found that I was distracted.

"I'm sure there is a bed nearby, if that is your intention, or are you in such a rush to tear my clothes off, my lady?" the elf laughed, nearly as breathless as I was. It was an easy choice.

"The bed would be nice. Quickly!" I knew there was a spare bedroom on the ground floor and lead the way, kissing him and removing his torn shirt as I went. With that followed various weapons from us both, hidden in various pockets along with boots and other articles of clothing.

"You know, something has occurred to me, my dear woman," he looked at me.

"What is that, ser elf? " I reached for his face, tracing the tattoo on his cheek with my fingers.

"I wish to know the name of the woman I was about to murder?" he asked.

"So I am not going to die by your hand, ser elf? Should I expect someone else?" I nipped at his ear.

"No. I will tell them there was no pupil," he said.

"Auriella, ser elf, my name is Auriella," I smiled.

"And you can call me Zevran, my lady," he said, kissing me once again.


	10. Chapter 10

-)(-

I awoke to an empty bed, several hours later. I traveled through the house, gathering clothes, leather and weapons as I went. When I had myself properly clothed, I went upstairs to my masters' room. The fire was out and judging from the coolness of the room, he was long gone. I searched his room and found a hidden panel under the window seat and pulled out a parcel with my name on it.

Shakily, I undid the twine, finding a letter inside along with a glorious armor I had never seen and a pair of curved swords.

**My dear Aurella,**

**If you are finding this before your 18****th**** birthday, then they have come for me at last and I was unable to reach you. I do not know how far I can get before they find me but know that I will never tell them of you, my only student. **

**I had these weapons made special for you, knowing your fondness for short swords and daggers. Daggers you have, so these swords are my gift to you. And soon you will need something stronger than your favorite leather. This armor is for you as well, with sheaths for your various weapons. I have taught you to the best of my abilities. I leave you whatever weapons you wish to keep. I take with me only the one thing that has given me solace all these years.**

** Know that I will miss you,**

** Victorio**

I gathered the parcel and ran to the library where my master spent much of his time, searching for his favorite book of poetry. It was gone. I cried, knowing that there was a chance he had gotten away. I noticed another book he often read and picked it up. I collected a bag and put in it everything I carried. I went to different rooms, gathering all the weapons I could find, along with everything I could use, such as salves and herbs. Some special ink that I had seen my master use to make tattoos, old ink he once said, or so he claimed. Nothing else was important enough to take, so I left

.

-)(-

I informed my father that my master was gone. My father quickly called for my brother and informed him to add more men to the night watch. If I was to be attacked, he felt it would be soon. I did not tell him that I had already met the man who was tasked to kill me and still lived, or that I had spent many hours with him.

I ate alone in my room, going through the various weapons I had brought from my master's house. I was familiar with most of them, having trained with them for years now. Having nothing else to do, I tried on the armor that my master had left me. It was Drakeskin in a deep shade of mahogany, with sheaths behind the neck for the two blades he had made. Lower down, at my waist on my back, there were sheaths for daggers. In front, along my stomach, I found sheaths for even smaller daggers and metal shards for throwing. It had pockets on the legs, I assume for even more daggers, thin ones like he used. The boots were light yet sturdy, with protection on the knees and shins. There were loops on the outer side of boots, right beside the guards. I knew he had had those added for the iron bark sticks that…._Duncan_ had given me. I used to stick them in my boots when I wasn't using them to train. The sleeves and gloves were something to behold. One shoulder down to my hand was a bit more heavily armored than the other, for better protection of my main sword arm. The glove finger guards were pointed, to be used as weapons as well yet still not hinder my grip. The other arm was thinner armor, to allow me to use my bow easily. It also had a heavy cowl that came low over my eyes and could be held in place with pins. The cowl did not disrupt my ability to reach my weapons. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a fearsome warrior. It was exactly what I always wanted. I carefully removed the armor and placed it in a separate bag. The weapons were carefully wrapped and protected as well. I put them away where prying eyes could not see the wondrous and final gifts my master had left me.

I picked up the book I had taken. As a child, I could not see the point of such dribble. Now, reading the words, it stuck a cord in me, poking at the wound in my soul. The poems were of lost love, something I was very much aware of. I sat there and realized that my master loved these words, and it made me wonder of all the things he had given up once he knew he could not return to his homeland. I had not truly been away from my home since I was a child, visiting the capital on occasion with my parents. My mother loved to be at court, while I could not wait to be home once again.

I started to think of my cousin Roderick asking if I should visit, when I am at Amaranthine. At first I thought he was joking, and then I began to see how serious Nathaniel was becoming as of late. I worried then that he would soon ask me to marry him. I knew that it would kill Roderick to see that happen. He thought his feelings were his own but I saw the sadness in his eyes. I saw that he could not have the one he loved. I put down the words that caused these thoughts and got ready for bed.

-)(-

I awoke later on, feeling someone in the room with me and the added heat at my back. I did not move other than to slowly slide my hands closer to the daggers I had hidden under my pillow as a hand caressed my back.

"Surely you do not need your daggers now," a familiar voice said from the darkness. "You have already drawn enough blood from me for one day, I think." He chuckled.

"_Zevran!_" I turned my head and looked back at him as he kissed my shoulder. "How did you get passed the guards?"

"My dear, did you think I could not find you? Or that a handful of guards could keep me from your bedchamber? Seeing that this is how you sleep is reason enough to chance the gallows!" he laughed.

"There are patrols everywhere…"

"I was glad for such enthusiasm earlier. It showed that everything I did was well received. Your master taught you everything he knew about fighting with weapons, but he was not your lover." He said. "That you enjoyed it is obvious to me but whoever your lover was did not take the time to teach you everything that I can show you."

"How do you know he was not, in fact my lover?" I asked.

"Did you not know? It is the reason he accepted contracts outside of Antiva, as most masters do not. It is said that his only love had passed away from illness and he never took another to his bed. Such was his love for her." I was sad to hear that he lost his love, as well as his home.

"No, I did not know that," I said.

I did not get very much sleep that night.


	11. Chapter 11

-)(-

Zevran stayed and taught me about the poisons craft my father had not wanted me to learn. He taught me how to create the counter-toxins and I began to build up more of a tolerance, which I was not aware that my master had been doing for many years. It was the reason that when Zevran stabbed my hand with his dagger, I did not die quickly as was expected, but only started to feel ill. I would have died without the counter-toxin to be sure but it showed him what my master had started to teach me.

Unfortunately I was not as careful as I had been before and one day Roderick followed me to the clearing where I had previously met my teacher and later confronted me about Zevran. I confessed that he was now teaching me what my father had once forbid and I took him with me to meet Zevran. Roderick was no match for the handsome elf, who easily saw where his interests lay. Later that evening he snuck into Roderick's quarters and stayed until morning. One evening he brought Mirabella, a lovely elf who was to help me with my training. It wasn't until later that I discovered what her true purpose was.

And so it went for months, until Zevran was told that Victorio had still not been captured and was thought to have crossed into Kirkwall with his pupil. Zevran was to return to Antiva for another mission, since he did not wish to travel to Kirkwall, having "wasted" so much time in Ferelden. I had known this day would come. I was thankful he had not pursued my master and that he helped me to learn things I may not have been able to on my own.

Soon he was gone and things returned to normal. The lovely elf became my lady in waiting, as I dreaded my 18th birthday when I was sure Nathaniel would ask for my hand. I began to ride out farther and stay away from the castle even more, practicing my skills when bandits thought I was nothing but a helpless woman traveling alone. One day I happened upon the still form of a man, an elf who appeared to have been beaten, but still alive. It was beginning to grow colder and colder, so I struggle to place him on my horse and took got him to an abandoned shack that I had passed earlier that day. He was half frozen and bleeding. I started a fire and held him close since I only had my winter cloak and the blanket I had left on my horse. I melted water and wiped away the blood on his face. Thankfully there was nothing that a little rest and ointment could not cure. He shivered for what seemed like hours before finally completely relaxing.

The next morning when I woke, he was no longer cold to the touch and his cuts were looking better than the day before. When he finally stirred, I had brought in some food I had packed in my bag, after checking on my poor horse. The elf looked at me suspiciously and at first refused the food I was trying to give him, but soon could not ignore the pain in his stomach. He ate all the food and drank the water I had melted.

"I thank you for helping me,_ Shem_," he said, trying to get up but still feeling woozy from his blood loss. I got up and he let me help him sit down under the cloak. _Shem, _ or rather _Shemlen_,a term elves used to describe humans, and it was not always used in the nicest ways but I forgave him the use of the word, as it was most likely a human who attacked him. There were still many who treated elves as property or worse.

"I would not leave anyone to freeze in the snow." I said.

"I would repay you if I could….."

"You do not need to do anything." I said. "I would apologize for the poor treatment you have received but I am sure that means nothing."

"You did not attack me and despite how you found me, I was able to defend myself rather well until I was struck from behind." He rubbed the back of his head that I had checked and found only a large bump.

"Regardless, I will inform the Teryn to look out for the men who attacked you. No doubt they are at some tavern bragging that they killed an elf. I will see to it." I said.

"The Teryn does not care for elves," he said and I turned to him.

"The Teryn does not care for injustice done to the citizens of his bannorn!" I told him, getting up and walked quickly to the door so I might cool my head. As soon as I opened the door I was faced by a large wolf and I quickly took a step back.

I reached for my daggers as the elf got up and yelled, "No!" I looked at him as he walked up to the wolf and knelt in front of it. They stared at each other and soon the wolf turned and walked away. I stared at the elf as he got up and again sat down under my cloak.

"How in the Maker's name did you do that?" I asked.

"I am a Ranger," he said simply.

"A what?" I asked.

"A Ranger. I can call animals to me, can sense what they sense," he explained.

"How do you do that?" I asked.

"By living among them and learning their ways mostly," he simply said.

"By the Maker, I promise you, I shall find those men for you." I then decided. "You shall have your justice!" I declared.

"Why would you do that?" he asked.

"So that perhaps you can teach me how to be a Ranger? If you're willing." I hoped he would agree and he did.

"We should leave immediately, before another storm hits." I could not contain myself. He reluctantly got up and handed me my cloak. I shook my head and had him put it on since he was wearing such thin clothing and everything I wore was fur-lined. I helped him get on the back of my horse and quickly rode towards the castle, forcing him to hold on to me or risk falling off. I made it before the snow started and go off the horse as soon as I gave the reins to the stable hand. The elf looked around and was appalled to find himself at the home of the very Teryn he had insulted and was not eager to get down. Fergus and Roderick came out of the castle and found me about to drag the poor elf by some very tender body parts. Fergus cleared his throat and Roderick laughed to hear me swear at the man who would not do as I asked.

"We were about to send out a search party again for you, Auriella," said Fergus, again a little annoyed at my freedom to come and go. He was now a married man and could not go off unless so ordered by my father.

"Ah! Good, just the person I need to see! Roderick, I need you to help me find a group of men who assaulted this elf. I found the poor man half frozen in the snow and had to nurse him back to health before returning." I told them, knowing that no matter what my excuse, Fergus would no doubt tell my father that I was irresponsible and reckless. "Nicolas, can you call Nan here please?" I asked the stable hand who was still waiting for the elf to dismount.

When she came out I ask that she see to feeding our guest and getting him into something warmer. After a minute of being on the receiving end of her stern glance, the elf finally got off the horse and followed her inside.

"What are you doing, cousin?" Roderick asked me.

"I am simply acting on the need to serve justice on the behalf of our citizens. Is that so wrong?" I asked him, knowing he would cave and help me.

"Fine, fine," he said. "I believe I overheard someone mention the very group of thugs you mentioned."

"Fantastic! Fergus, could you send someone to get these, thugs as Roderick called them?" I asked as sweetly as I could.

"If they are the men Roderick mentioned, then it will be an easy task. They have been drinking themselves blind since the blizzard started." He said and walked off.

Roderick would not let me pass into the castle, waiting for an explanation. "Why are you really helping this elf?"

I threw my arm around his shoulder and steered him inside. "Have you ever heard of a Ranger?" I asked him.

"Only the little I hear, here and there. Why? None of the stories are true, cousin!"

"And yet they are." I said and proceeded to tell him about what happened with the wolf and how I got caught up in helping another elf whose name I had yet to learn.

-)(-

With the help of my brother and cousin, the men who attacked the elf, whose name I finally learned was Theban, were brought to the castle to stand before my father. There had been other reports of many more attacks by these same men on elves and humans alike, and they were sentenced, which Theban witnessed. I could see he had not expected my father to take such actions and was grateful that they would not be allowed to hurt anyone else. Theban was true to his word and agreed to train me as a Ranger, much to the dismay of my mother since the training was to be in the forest. She agreed only after I was allowed to take my mabari hound, along with a few weapons and armor I would need. I did not want to carry anything heavy because I knew we would need to travel far.

The training was unlike anything I had ever encountered before. Soon I could run through the trees without making a sound and climb trees as easily as any creature. I learned to track animals. After a few months I learned to call a wolf, as they were abundant in the area where we camped. My mabari did not trust the animals at first but soon realized that they would not harm me. Soon it was as if I could connect with them and they became a part of me. My final test was to call a bear. Wolves were simple enough but a bear was a creature that was much bigger and it took longer for me to do so. When I was finally able, Theban admitted he did not think I would be able to, as many people feared the large creatures. I found that they were no different than my hound, large and fearsome, yet playful as well.

Theban told me that to master two animals so quickly was something he had never witnessed. He had never met another ranger, much less a _Shem_, who could. Most could only handle one animal. He then said he had nothing left to teach me and I was sad to return, leaving the simplicity of the forest. Theban was a quiet man, not used to having someone as a constant companion and could go days without speaking. He was not used to cities and used mostly what he could hunt or harvest to survive. He taught me of the more exotic herbs that one rarely found in shops and how to make use of everything I found around me. We traveled back to my home in silence, with a few new additions who decided to go along for the journey. When I was close to Highever, I turned and hugged the man who had taught me something one could not learn from books or be explained in words. I knew he had no desire to return with me so I gave him the one thing I knew he could use but never ask for, my cloak. He smiled at the gift and was gone.

Soon I was in the clearing where I used to meet my master. Everything was as I remembered it and yet something was drawing my attention. I walked into the trees and spotted something faintly sparkle from a far off tree. As I reached it, I spotted three arrows still imbedded in the wood, no doubt mine. Strung up in the arrows was a locket I thought lost to me forever. I took the arrows down and unwound the locket, saddened that the necklace was no longer usable, having torn it from my neck long ago. I wondered how long it had been there. Slowly I opened the locket, seeing Duncan's face for the first time in over two years. With it was a lock of black hair.

I had thought by now my heart to be empty and yet it beat hard in my chest and I let my tears fall silently. I touched my cheek and recalled the last time I had cried. It was the night Duncan had left. Once started, I could not stop the tears so I sat by the tree and let myself mourn the love I had lost once again. My mabari came and licked my face. I laughed and got back up. I gathered the pack I had carried with me months back and again headed home, this time with the locket pinned inside my armor, close to my heart.


	12. Chapter 12

_DUNCAN_

Two and a half years has passed. I could not find any reason to visit Highever, yet I could not think of reasons to stay away until the need to recruit became more urgent with the resurface of the darkspawn in various areas of Ferelden. I recalled young Roderick was a swordsman and had promised him I would return since he was willing to take the trials.

I was anxious to return, certain that she would surely not still be the fighter that I was looking for. At 14 she had almost bested me and had I not cheated by pressing her to the wall, cutting off her means to fight, she would have won the first time we fought. The second time, I was lucky to disarm her yet it lead to my losing her, possibly forever. But for this I could not take her, not from that life. Her father would forbid it. Surely her mother would have thrown me out had she known how close she had come to losing her daughter. I was almost to the point of forcing conscription when a lad was finally found who I could recruit. He was a farmer's son who had no means to find a position to help his family, yet he was very proficient with heavy broad swords. I had also been forced to conscript a young man I had vowed should never be a warden. But when word came that he would soon become a Templar, a life he was not suited for, I knew I would need to step in. _The lad reminds me of me when I was his age, _thought Duncan.

I arrived at the castle early to the sounds of men gathering weapons and armor. Fergus Cousland was to ride to Ostagar with some of his men to aid the king in the battle against the darkspawn. In the courtyard I found the one person I had wished to see. She was in the black leather she so loved to wear, now more formfitting than I remembered. She was taller now and more muscular from all her years of training. She was laughing and swinging her iron bark sticks, chasing a little boy around. My heart sank, thinking that this was her son, the one I could not give her.

I heard someone approach and found myself face to face with an older, yet unmistakable Roderick, now heavier with muscles and armor. He looked at his cousin and answered my unanswered question about the boy.

"That is Fergus' son," he said, much to my relief, as a man I did not recognize approached her and the boy with a fierce bird of prey.

"I see you have become quite the mind reader," I commented, looking back. "I do not recall this man the last time I was here."

"That is Theban, an elf my cousin rescued in a snowstorm. He had been ambushed by some men and left to die." I could not help but stare as the bird went willingly to her shoulder and sat there. "He's a Ranger."

"A ranger? Here? I thought to only find them away from cities," I could tell they were very close and wondered why he was here.

"He was her teacher. She returned not more than a month ago." I looked at him, waiting to see if he would continue. "He soon returned as well. He said the animals told him that he would be needed here soon."

"And he came willingly?" I asked, knowing of no other Ranger outside of the forest.

"I cannot answer what you are unwilling to ask, Warden," he turned as an elven woman came out and called to the child.

"I have lost the right to even ask," I looked away as I heard the Teryn coming out into the yard. I flinched when he finally noticed that I was by Roderick.

"Duncan!" he called and came to clasp my hand. "It has been too long since I have last seen you, my friend!"

"Would that I could say the same about the darkspawn," I was glad to have something to say about that would explain my long absence.

"Have you had luck finding men?"

"I am here for a last recruit before I too must return to Ostagar." I could see more and more men, none bearing the seal of the Cousland's.

"A last recruit?" he wondered.

"Your nephew Roderick asked to be tested the last time I was here." I informed him. He turned and looked at the lad.

"I did not know this. Come, Duncan, I must speak to my brother about this."

I turned to courtyard where she had been but she was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

_AURIELLA_

I was playing with Oren, trying to cheer him up since Fergus was leaving with the men to Ostagar soon. He knew that what his father did was important but unsure why. All he knew was that his father was leaving and his mother was sad. I had asked Theban to bring out a hawk to show to Oren, hoping it would help. I was amazed when I looked at the bird and knew it would not harm me. I let it walk onto my shoulder and it settled there. Mirabelle came out and called to Oren to go inside but he was in awe of the bird. Theban did not want to chance letting him touch the bird so I allowed him to take it back when my father came out into the courtyard. That was when I saw Duncan standing next to Roderick.

As I was walking away I heard Duncan inform my father that Roderick had asked to be tested as a Warden. I knew then why my cousin began to look at me so sadly lately. He knew this day would come and once again I would come face to face with the man who broke my heart. I quickly ran to the armory, knowing that Roderick would be there.

"You could have told me of your decision, Roderick," I told him as I locked the door behind me.

"You would have tried to stop me, cousin," he said sadly.

"Of course I would have tried to stop you!" I walked angrily towards him. "You cannot solve everything by running away!"

"I am not…"

"Yes you are!" I pushed him against the shield rack. "You never once wanted to be anything other than a knight for our family." I said, leaning in close to him. "What changed?"

"You, cousin," he said softly.

"I have not changed." I looked at him.

"You know I cannot bear to see you marry…..him!" he said, looking away.

"And you know I would never….."

"You would if your father made you," he said, so softly I could barely hear him. "Can you not see that you were always meant to marry Nathaniel? It was your father's hope to unite what was once broken. This land once belonged to the Arl's family and they could not reclaim it. This way it will be as it once was, only stronger with the aid of Amaranthine. He sees the Arl as his friend and through marriage reunite the families once again."

"My father would never..."

"He has. Why do you think the Arl is here, the day before they march to Ostagar?" he asked. "Why send Fergus to Ostagar when you should be the one to lead them? Why is Nathaniel not here with his father, when he is their best archer? This attack at Ostagar has very little chance of survival, dear cousin. You two will be kept out, to marry and carry on if the Teryn or Arl fall."

"Are you so willing to throw your life away, Roderick?" I wondered.

"What? Why?"

"If Ostagar is a foolish notion," I moved back from him, giving myself the room I would need. "Then are you in such a hurry to die?"

"On the battlefield or as a Warden, it means I should not live to see the one thing I care for go to another." He said.

"Funny how that works out, cousin."

"What are you saying?" he asked as I took out my swords.

"You speak of the loss of love, which is something I know a great deal of." I looked at him, this time with pain in my eyes. "I know it was you who sent Duncan away."

"I did it for you! I saw that you loved him yet we know that he would not be anything other what he is. Even if he could just walk away from the Wardens, the taint within them kills no matter if he fights the darkspawn or not. I know that you could not bear to lose him!" He could not deny it.

"That was not your decision to make. _NOW_ _DRAW YOUR_ _SWORD!_" Roderick hesitated but he could see that I was serious. "Should you die now or on the battlefield, at least by my blade your father will have a body to bury!" I yelled as I attacked. He barely had time to get his sword up to block me.

"I will not fight you, cousin," he said, backing up again and again, using his shield as I advanced on him.

"You will if you wish to prove yourself to the Warden. If you cannot defeat me then you have no hope with him, now stop defending and _FIGHT ME!_"


	14. Chapter 14

_DUNCAN_

I had the difficult task of informing the Teryn's brother that I was here to test his son to become a Warden, that it was his wish. I assured him that unless he passed, he could not be recruited. Since the boy was of age, it was entirely his decision. As much as he did not like what I had informed him, he could not deny his son the chance to join.

It was then that the child ran into the room, looking for his father.

"Make them stop!" he cried, running at his father and grandfather.

"What is happening, Oren? Make who stop?" Fergus asked his son.

"They've locked the armory door and are fighting! Rick and 'Rella are fighting!" he told his father.

"I will go," I told them, more than sure I knew why and not wishing to involve more people than was necessary.

I ran to the barracks and found soldiers outside the door, not knowing what to do. "Go back to what you were doing." I told them, listening to the sound of swords coming from inside the room. I felt small arms wrap around my leg and I looked down at Oren, who was frightened by the sounds. I knelt and looked at him in the eyes.

"She can't kill Rick, she loves him," he said, burying his face in my tunic.

"Hush, child. I will end this nonsense." I noticed the elven woman and handed him to her. I turned and began to pick the lock, something I had not done in a long time. I threw open the doors and stepped in as she spun and kicked Roderick in the face. He fell and broke the shield rack. She rushed forward and pointed her sword at his throat.

"_AURIELLA, STOP!"_ I yelled. She thrust the sword into the rack besides his head instead. She jumped back from him, flexing her fingers.

"Are you okay, Roderick?" I could see that he was breathing hard and holding his ribs. I was sure that a few may be broken from the way he held himself.

"Fine, Warden. It is nothing." Still he watched his cousin, not wanting to move before she did. She spun on her heel and walked away from him.

"Are you okay, my lady?" I asked as she passed me.

"This does not concern you, Warden." She spat at me and kept walking. I knew better than to go after her. There was a deep hatred in her eyes, along with pain and betrayal.

I walked to Roderick and carefully helped him to his feet. "I think she meant to kill you, my friend." I told him, carefully feeling his ribs as best as I could and he hissed in pain.

"It is no more than I deserved." He could not put weight on his leg, having twisted it when he fell.

"I have never seen a woman with such rage in her eyes." I helped him hop over to a chair to get him off his feet.

"She has every right to hate me," he winced as he tried to remove his boot and dropped it. "She knows it was I who drove you away," he said quietly, hanging his head.

"You are not entirely to blame, Roderick. You saw that I loved your cousin very much. There is just something about her that made me lose myself. I hurt her, way before I left." I put my hand on his shoulder.

He looked passed me and I spun around to see the elf standing in the door way. She gave a quick curtsy when she saw us.

"My mistress has left her weapon but I cannot free it. It is her favorite blade." She explained and looked away sheepishly. "The healer is on his way, ser Roderick."

I got up and went back into the room to remove her sword from the rack. The blade was stuck in so deeply that I had to pull at it with all my weight before it was freed. I looked at the blade, admiring the craftsmanship. I went back and handed the elf the blade carefully. She held the hilt with both hands, blade pointed down and walked away carefully. I watched as she carried the blade back into the castle.

"She is Mirabelle, Auriella's lady-in-waiting," he explained.

"I did not know she needed one." I sighed, thinking again of the young man who no doubt in my mind, wished to marry her.

"Neither did I. She arrived one day and would only stay with Auriella, who told everyone she who she was. Mirabelle dotes on my cousin." he grunted, trying not to move too much.

The healer rushed in and I helped remove Roderick's armor and quilted under-padding. He checked his ribs and was happy to report that nothing was broken but seriously bruised, thanks to the under-padding, yet his chest would need to be kept wrapped. His knee was swollen but no tendons torn and would heal. Roderick looked at me, knowing he would no longer be able to take the test, not without seriously causing permanent damage. Auriella's anger was obvious in the various bumps and bruises she had caused. The healer said he could apply poultices as soon as he was moved and had more of the armor removed. A few of the soldier's came in and were tasked with helping him to his room.

"I'm sorry, Warden," he said as he helped away.

"No need. If you are still willing, we will leave as soon as you are healed." I promised him. His face lit up, happy that I had accepted him. That fact that he had survived at all gave me reason to accept him into the Wardens. "Know that if you do this, you can never return, lad," I reminded him.

"I understand, Warden." He was taken from the barracks and taken to his room in the castle. I turned to the healer and asked how long until he could ride.

"The boy should be allowed time to rest, Warden." He tried to follow the soldiers again and I grabbed his arm, stopping him again.

"The boy is to be a Warden. I need him to ride with me to Ostagar soon. Can he make the journey?" In truth, I did not want him here for his cousin to try this again.

"I will use my magic to heal him then but he should not leave for at least a day, Warden. Doing this will heal as well as cause great pain." He did not want to put Roderick through more pain but it would be necessary to ride for Ostagar as soon as we could. The darkspawn could not wait.

"I will apologize for causing him more pain but the King needs as many Wardens at his side as I can bring him." I let him go and went to seek Auriella but found that she had gone. I went in search of her father and uncle. They were in the main hall, along with Fergus, his wife Oriana and mother Eleanor; Fergus was finally about to leave with the men. He bowed to me and his family and was gone.

"So I suppose Roderick will not be joining the Wardens?" asked the Teryn.

"No he will in fact be joining me after he is healed." I informed him and his father hung his head.

"I have no idea what got into Pup to attack him. I am only happy that you were able to stop them. I must speak to her later before we leave to Ostagar. I wish to know the reasons for her actions." Said the Teryn.

"No doubt she is upset at not being included in the battle with the darkspawn, my friend," Arl Howe said.

I wanted to hit the man for even speaking ill of her.

"No she was told that she would be staying here at the castle with her mother. Most of the men are to ride with Fergus and the rest with us tomorrow," the Teryn stated. "There must be a better reason."

"I'm sure it will all be sorted out by dinner then. Come Bryce, let us discuss our plans for Ostagar," Arl Howe took his friend by the arm and led him away.

I found myself walking out to the courtyard again and glimpsed a female figure walk out the castle gates. Having nothing else to do, I followed the elf, Mirabella out into the forest. She went to the clearing that her mistress practiced and found her there, hitting various trees with her iron bark fighting sticks. She waited until her mistress stopped and turned to her, handing her the sword she had left in the barracks. Auriella then sank to the ground and began to cry earnestly. The elf put her arms around her mistress and began to rock her. I could not hear the whispered conversation between them and seeing her tears broke my heart once again so I quietly left them alone in the clearing.


	15. Chapter 15

_AURIELLA_

_I am so ashamed. _I could have easily killed Roderick: for breaking my heart by sending Duncan away and again for bringing him back to be tested as a Warden. I left before my father could find me and ask for an explanation for my actions this afternoon. In all honesty, I could not think of a lie that would satisfy him. I began to attack the various trees, almost to the point where I feared I would break the iron bark, and that was no easy task. Mirabella found me and carefully handed me my sword, the one my master had given me. Upon seeing it, I suddenly saw Roderick but this time as I had pictured him, with his blood flowing freely by my blade, having found its mark. Had Duncan not called out, I would have slain my beloved cousin and thought nothing of it.

I sank to the ground and wept. Mirabelle put her arms around me and tried to comfort me.

"He forgives you, my lady," she said into my hair.

"I almost killed him, why would he ever forgive me?" I questioned.

"Because he knows that he has wronged you and that is what has hardened your heart." She said, brushing my hair out of my face. "He was your love, this Warden?"

I could not look at her as I closed my eyes, "Yes."

"He too is broken hearted, just as my mistress is. I could see his heart breaking again and again to see you so hard." She said, holding my face in her hands.

"I needed to be hard or I would break. I wanted to die, Mirabelle, when he left me. So I became hard, cold and indifferent." I admitted. "Unable to love or receive love."

"I love you, my mistress. Zevran loved you," she said looking away from me.

"Zevran is gone yet I thank him and the Maker every day that I have you, Mirabella. You are my only softness," I told her. She put her arms around my neck and moved closer to me. I was only happy that she could not see that even now, I was still empty.

-)(-

We walked back to the castle. I was happy to learn that despite his rough exterior, Theban had started to court Mirabella. I knew that she needed someone who would love her as she loved me. I knew that if she continued to love me, it would poison her soul.

I snuck into my father's study, knowing he would be waiting for me.

"Come here, Pup." He was seated by the fire and I knelt at his feet, not speaking.

"I need to hear it from you. Why did you attack your cousin?" he asked.

"I was very angry at him, father. For leaving to the Wardens." I could think of now other excuse that what was closest to the truth without giving away Roderick's secret.

"I know you feel I am holding you back from the battle unfairly. And I know you once desired to be a Warden," I looked at him, hoping he did not know that I had loved Duncan as well. "But you are my only daughter. I am so proud that you have grown up to be the finest warrior, able to defeat even Duncan." I looked away. "Oh yes, Pup. I heard about you fighting Duncan all those years ago. And won when so many failed! But nothing short of Duncan forcing conscription would I have allowed you to be taken from me. Duncan knew this and thankfully did not force the issue. I cannot lose you to fight these monsters." He looked at me so sadly. "I know why Roderick has really asked to become a Warden, my dear. And I know that nothing I say will make you love Nathaniel Howe. So I ask that you stay and protect your mother. Should your brother or I fall in battle, you will be in charge of the castle. I know what I am asking you is not fair but please, do this for me."

"I promise father." I got up and hugged him, leaving him to stare into the fire. I knew his thoughts were back to the battle to come so I took my leave of him.

I went into the kitchen to see if there was any food left from dinner. Nan had two plates ready. "Take one to your cousin," she told me. "And say your goodbyes."

I looked at her and asked, "Goodbyes?"

"Ser Roderick is to be a Warden. He has been healed from your little fight so you might want to beg his forgiveness for that as well." I could tell she was upset that we had fought, hoping she did not know why.

"I will, Nan. I will see if he will eat." I took the plates and went upstairs and found Roderick in bed, looking a little green from the healing he had been receiving. He tried to get up as I came in but I quickly put the dishes on the bedside table and sat down next to him, hugging him gently.

"I am so sorry." I whispered into his shoulder.

"Do not be sorry, cousin. And do not cry for me. I should have told you what I had done but I was a coward…..about so many things," he said, turning to face me.

"Do you hate me, cousin, about Zevran?" I asked.

"No. I should have known you would figure it out, especially when I would not play husband with Arl Howe's daughter, Sophia." He laughed, remembering how Sophia tried to kiss him and Auriella told her that he did not want to kiss her.

"Yes and he brought me Mirabella, which I will always be grateful for." I said.

"You never explained her to me, cousin." He looked at me as I blushed. "Are you saying you….." I covered my face. "With her?"

"Yes! Zevran brought her in for me, to teach me as he did you, I'm sure." I hit him when his grew wide at the thought and I lightly hit him.  
>"Damn Zevran, I doubt even the Maker could resist him!"<p>

"It was not so unpleasant."

I looked back at him. "No it wasn't, but it wasn't what you wanted." I touched his face. "You need to eat something. Nan says I must feed you properly since I beat you to a bloody pulp." I sat up and got the plates once again. He managed to sit up and put the plate in his lap.

"You know then?" he asked, not wanting to look at me.

"Yes. I will be sorry to see you go, Roderick." I said, my throat suddenly tight.

"He still loves you, cousin." I turned to him and tried to shut him up. "No this must be said!" he put his hands on my mouth to shut me up.

"When I told him to leave, I knew something had happened between the two of you. I guess I had known when he was first here. I knew you were falling for him. Seeing you two together, I knew that things had progressed between you." I was appalled that he had known. "But I also knew he could not be with you. If he did and you lost him, it would have killed you. I hoped that if he broke you heart then, you would heal and move on. I had no idea the extent of the damage I caused. Not just to you but to him as well."

"What's done is done, cousin." I said when he finally moved his hands away.

"You do not fool me, cousin. I know that still your heart is empty. Zevran could not fill it and apparently neither could Mirabelle. I see a little of whom you once were when he is nearby, trying to mend a piece of you that you have protected so tightly." I got up with my plate and walked towards the door, not saying a word. "Go to him, cousin. While he is still here. Do not let him leave without resolving this."

I put my hand on the handle and said quietly, "I cannot."

I walked out the door and went to my room to think about his words to me. I left the plate in my room and went out into the courtyard for some air. Since I had missed dinner, I was unaware that we had other visitor's at the castle. I spotted Dairren, son of Bann Loren, sitting on a bench staring up at the sky alone.

"I did not know you were here, Lady Auriella," he said quietly. It was late and I did not want to bring attention to us.

"I was out most of the day." I said simply.

"I heard you fought your cousin this afternoon. I hope it wasn't serious?" he looked at me. I knew my father would not have discussed anything at dinner but the staff were known to talk.

"He is to be a Warden, my cousin. I wanted to fight him one last time before he left." I said.

"So nothing serious? Good. He is going to live a glorious life then." He lifted his glass and saluted my cousin. I drank a toast from his glass and excused myself, wishing him a good night.

I ended up in my room and again attempted to eat the food Nan had saved for me. I knew that I should eat but my mind would not be at ease. I got up and went back to Roderick's room, but this time he was finally asleep. I crept to his bedside and got in bedsides him, putting my arm lightly around his chest and listened to his heart. I knew this would the last time I should see my cousin and I did not want his last night to be alone. I finally drifted off, listening to his soft snores.

-)(-

The next morning I awoke to find Roderick staring me, surprised to find me besides him. I knew he was feeling better and would soon have to gather all he would need to leave to Ostagar. Since he would not be able to ride as quickly as needed, they would need to ride steadily yet slowly. I hugged my cousin and got out of bed, not wanting to keep him any longer from his journey.

I spent most of my morning getting last minute instructions from my father and avoiding Dairren Loren who was following me around like a besotted fool. I also avoided Arl Howe, especially after he made mention of Nathaniel coming after they were gone to check up on me. My father had hoped to leave by early afternoon but upon receiving word that the Arl's men would again be delayed, he put off leaving one more day. The Arl rode off to see what was keeping his men. I was happy he was no longer walking the castle, looking at everything like it belonged to him. At times he would give me the oddest looks and then quickly look away when he noticed I saw him staring at me.

I came upon Theban in the armory, quietly gathering up my weapons and carefully placing them in a large sack. I was curious as to his intent with so many weapons, since he would not be joining my father at Ostagar. I had asked him to gather Roderick's sword and shield the night before but was unsure why he was gathering mine as well.

"Is there something I should know about, ser Theban?" I asked finally, seeing that he managed to pack everything I was known to wield, leaving only the two swords my master had left me as a gift.

"The animals say that it is time, my lady, and we should prepare for what is to come." He said, closing the pack and now began bundling my armors into another pack, which to my surprise, Mirabelle was bringing in.

"What is to come, Theban?" I asked, seeing my beloved leathers and padded tunics folded and added to the bulging sack.

"The animals do not know but they say that we will need to be ready to fight. They say we may need to leave Highever, my lady," he said seriously. I knew that Theban trusted the animals' instincts yet was unsure I felt the same. Yet I had never known him to be wrong so I asked Mirabella to retrieve the armor and weapons my master had given me, well hidden amongst the dresses I hated. She ran off to get it and I moved closer to him.

"If what the animals say is true, Theban, I want your word that should anything happen, you will take Mirabella far away from here and keep her safe." I looked at him and he nodded once. "Good. Now, ser elf, where will I find my armor? And how will I carry it all?" I asked when I saw how much he had already packed.

"I will take it to the house I made in the woods. It is not far from the tunnel which leads away from the castle. I will also take your horse and leave everything for you there." I knew of the tunnel he spoke of, having been taught at an early age that it was a way out of the castle that only my family knew about, added once our family came to live in Highever. There was another tunnel once but it was filled in so that it could not be used. This new tunnel now leads far enough away and was well hidden in the forest. I knew that Theban had not felt comfortable in the castle and had chosen to live outside in the forest but I had not felt the need to follow him there. I began to help him pack, knowing that he would do nothing else until he felt I had everything I needed. With so few men left in the castle, I would not have time to do assemble these items and get everyone out if need be.

I left Theban to finish up, taking with me the other pack containing my cousins' weapons when I ran into Duncan. I looked away from him but as I tried to pass him he grabbed my arm to stop me. Still I did not look at him and I heard him sigh. We were alone in the barracks once again.

Thinking about what Roderick had said the night before, I turned and kissed him, catching him off guard. He tried to push me back but I fought him, not breaking the kiss and finally wrapping my arms around his neck. I was crying, not wanting to let him go yet knowing that now, so close to the battle, he could not stay even if he wanted to. Finally I pulled away and pressed my face to his chest, feeling his heart pounding, felt him running his fingers through my hair. Standing so close to him, I could feel myself alive and raw. My need for this man was too much for me the last time, yet without him I knew I was not whole. I stepped back, wanting to get away as fast I could but he fell to his knees and put his arms around my waist.

"I was a fool, leaving you so long ago," he said. "And I am a fool now."

I placed my hand on my shoulder and he looked up at me.

"We were both fools then," I said and he got to his feet once again. This time he leaned his head down and kissed me again, sweetly, kissing my eyes and nose, wiping the tears from my face. He kissed my forehead and finally placed a kiss on my head. I took his hand and kissed the back of his palm. "Is it too late?" I asked him, kissing him again.

"We leave as soon as your cousin has collected his things."

"Then I guess you'll be delayed since he doesn't seem to have his sword or shield, my Warden," I said, kissing his neck. The pack was still by my feet as I looked into his eyes, knowing this would be the last time I would have with him.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"There is nothing I am surer of," I told him, grabbing the bag and walking towards now empty rooms, empty now that most of the men were gone.

-)(-

Precious time had passed and I knew they could not delay any longer. We dressed and left the room separately, not seeing anyone in the barracks. I took my cousin's pack with me to his room and found him still there, sitting on his bed. I could tell he had been waiting for me to return.

I walked over to him and sat down next to him.

"You look happier for the first time in so long, cousin," he said.

"I am happy. I did what you asked and now I am complete once again." I said, taking his hand in mine. "Take care of him, cousin, please. For me. Duncan has promised that if things go well at Ostagar then he will return to Highever."

"Cousin I don't…"

"And if he should fall, please see that he is sent properly to the Maker." I also said, quietly. "If there is some small chance that he lives through this then we can be together."

"But Nathaniel…"

"I have spoken to my father, Roderick, and he knows I do not love Nathaniel. He knows that I will not marry him for any reason." I said and looked at him. "Promise me that when you return, you will tell him that you love him, instead."

"If the Maker wills it then, cousin. You have my oath." He said and got to his feet. Together we walked out of the room and walked to the stables where Duncan was waiting for him. Ser William was waiting to see his son off, holding the reins of his horse as I held his pack. They embraced and he carefully mounted. I handed him his pack and looked at Duncan.

"May the Maker watch over you both." I said, wanting yet again to be the one riding at Duncan's side. I knew Roderick would make a good Warden and that he had earned his place. I wanted to kiss Duncan goodbye, yet with my uncle still standing here I did not, knowing he would tell my father. Once Duncan returned, then he would have the unfortunate task of speaking with my father for my hand.

I stayed at the gates until I could not see their horses any longer. I had hoped they would stay another night and ride out with my father but Duncan said Roderick needed to go through the trials once they got to Ostagar. He would not tell me what they were, only that it is something every Warden did and few survived. I was sure that Roderick would survive, foolishly hoped that he would.

I went back to the castle and went into the chapel, kneeled before the statue of Andraste and prayed for the safety of my family and beloved. I prayed that the darkspawn threat would not take those most precious to me.

I left and went about the castle, removing my mabari from the pantry larder. I knelt down and told him to stay alert. Theban may trust his animals, but I trusted this animal with my life. He stayed by my side as I wandered around the village, well aware that there were so few guards left. Tomorrow the Bann's family was expected to depart and I would be happy to see Dairren Loren go. I made sure to never be alone around him and even had Mirabella cut him off.

I had been spinning about upon seeing Duncan again, unwilling to go to him even though I it was what I wanted. I had spent the better of two years repairing my heart, not realizing that I had also encased it in stone. It took Mirabelle telling me this to realize I had closed myself off. I then realized that I had also used intimacy the same way, not feeling the closeness that I had first felt with Duncan.

I spent the rest of the afternoon speaking with Oriana and playing with little Oren, who started missing his father more and more. Oriana was singing Orlesian songs and that helped him a bit and I sat with the book of poetry I had taken from my master. A year had passed and I still had no word from him. I only hoped he was still alive and hoped he found peace once again. I now looked at the book of poetry in a new light, thinking of Duncan and feeling renewed after our time together.

"If I may say so, my dear, I would think you were in love," Oriana said as she rocked Oren in her lap.

"Oh? What makes you say that?" I asked, closing the book and looking at her holding her son.

"You have this glow about you, sister, and one you only get when you are with the person you love." She said. I had only told Roderick about Duncan and had hoped to speak to Oriana as well, as I had no real sisters of my own.

"Was it that way for you, when you met Fergus?" I asked her, thinking that I had never really known how they had met.

"Oh you should have seen your brother. I met him at court and he had the hardest time speaking to me! Yet everywhere I looked he was there, always ready to be the perfect gentlemen." She had a faraway look in her eyes.

"Gentlemen? Are you sure you don't mean someone other than my brother? He was nothing short of a brute growing up! "I laughed softly, not wanting to wake Oren.

"Oh yes, well men change for their women, sister, if they truly love them. Men are bred so much stronger than women but their hearts are just as gentle as ours." I recalled all the tender looks I had seen between the two of them, seen how they embraced and how he did change, when she held his hand or touched his face. It was a look I saw on Duncan's face as he held me in his arms.

"That is because they are told not to cry and carry on as women do. I for one am not weak, and do not need a man to change for me." I decided not to share Duncan with her, not until he was safe again with me.

"No sister, you are not weak. But one day you may meet a man who may not be as strong as you and he will need you to be his strength. Not all men are giants like the Warden, some are gentle but they love just as strongly. It just depends which suits you." She picked up her son slowly and walked him to her room. I looked after her and wondered if maybe she did know about Duncan after all.


	16. Chapter 16

-)(-

I was woken from a deep sleep later that night. I smelt smoke and quickly got out of bed. I opened my door as a servant was running towards me, badly wounded.

"My lady, we are under attack!" he managed before another arrow struck him in the back. I held him as he fell and quickly moved back into my room, looking for a weapon. I grabbed the heavy water basin and held it over my head as a soldier came into my room and bashed it on his head. I took his weapon and went out again, fearing what I would find in the rest of the castle. I heard more men in another room, and I rushed to it, seeing that it was my parent's bedroom. I found my mother using her bow from the balcony, picking off the men as they tried to get near her. I approached the last one and quickly slit his throat.

"Are you okay mother?" I asked her.

"Yes but your father never made it bed!" I heard Mirabella screaming. I backed out into the hall and saw her running towards me with my short swords.

"Mirabella, get down!" I yelled at her and threw the dagger I had taken from the soldier who had come into my room. She kneeled as the dagger flew over her and into the man who was behind her. She quickly got back up and rushed to my side to give me the swords.

"They are all over the castle, mistress, and they killing everyone! There are too many of them and not enough guards!" She was coved in soot and had blood on her sleeve. I was thankful she had not been hurt and was able to get away from the fighting.

"Wait! Those are Howe's men!" said my mother upon inspecting the armor of the men we slew.

"Howe? But they were delayed! Why would he do this?" I asked, yet already guessing this must have been his plan all along. I turned back to Mirabelle and asked, "Have you seen my father?"

"No, mistress. I was walking with Theban when we heard the men break into the castle. We made it to the armory and he gave me your swords to bring to you," she said.

"Where is Theban?"

"Soldiers approached and he had to create a distraction so I could get away. I ran as quickly as I could." I walked passed her and began checking the rest of the rooms. In one room I found my uncle, killed in his bed. In another, I found Oriana and Oren. I barred my mother from the room as she wailed for the grandson she loved so much. She turned and walked away, steeling herself.

"We must find your father!" she said, hoping we would not be too late.

"NO! We must find Howe! For this I will have his head!" I saw red, seeing my family slaughtered had brought out a hatred I had not yet known. I needed to find the man responsible for this!

"No! First we need to find your father! We need to get as many people out of here and inform the king what Howe has done here tonight." She walked to my father's vault and opened the door. "Your father's sword and shield are in here. Whatever happens, Howe must not get his hands on it."

"I will not leave until I have killed Howe, mother!" I vowed. She spun on her heal and looked at me.

"Howe is a coward! He will not risk his own life here with these men! He will most likely be half way to Amaranthine, safe in the knowledge that his men outnumber our own. No, daughter, if we cannot save the castle then we must speak to the king."

I could not argue with my mother, knowing that she spoke the truth. Now we needed to gather as many people we could save and get them out of the castle. She began to fit her armor over her tunic, strapping it on as quickly as she could. Mirabelle handed me the only other leather armor, closer to a leather tunic, and she quickly tightened the strings in the back. "One day you are going to have to explain this outfit, mother," I said, wincing as they fit tighter than most armor and a bit more revealing than usual. Thankfully the boots were comfortable.

"Its Chasind armor," was all she would say as she collected more arrows from various quivers and I took my father's sword and shield, placing them on my back.

I looked out into the hallway and seeing no one, went out ahead of my mother and Mirabella. Mother closed the door and locked it. I took the key from her and using my father's shield and I broke the key in the lock, hoping that would stop anyone from going in. I turned as more soldiers had found us and we fought them, making our way forward. We searched various rooms and found many of our people dead. There were various fires blocking the way to the kitchen and we were forced to chance going into the main hall. Thankfully, the remaining guards were there, trying their best to hold the doors closed. To my surprise, Roderick was there as well.

"Thank the Maker! Cousin, Aunt, I am relieved you are alive!" He said as he hugged us both.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, looking around at the men, most of the wounded.

"We came across the Arl's men and were forced to stop and go around them to return to the castle. By the time we made it back, the fighting had already begun." He looked at me, covered in blood and soot. "Have you seen my father?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, cousin. Howe's men had already reached his and Oriana's rooms before I knew what had happened." I knew I should not lie to him. His face fell when he heard his father was already dead.

"Oren?" he asked.

"Killed." Mother said simply.

"Dear Maker!" he turned back as the men were starting to lose their hold on the door. "Go! Your father went to look for you and your mother but I fear he did not make it if you are here together."

"I saw the Teryn heading for the kitchen. Many men were after him. Your mabari was with him, my lady," said Theban, who came in the doorway closest to us.

"Theban! You saw my father?" I asked as he collapsed on a bench nearby. I saw then that he was bleeding and was in need of rest. I tore a piece of tapestry and tied it around the wound, preying it would be enough.

"GO!" Roderick yelled as the door started to break.

"Come with us!" I yelled as Theban pulled me out of the room. I managed to grab onto the doorway and looked at Roderick.

"I cannot leave. You need time to escape and there are not many men left who can fight now GO!" Roderick turned and put his back to the breaking door.

I turned and we headed to the kitchen, I using my sword and mother her arrows when a soldier came too close. Mirabella was helping Theban walk. The fire was also keeping Howe's men from reaching us quickly and we made our way to the kitchen in time to see one of Howe's men run his sword through Nan, pinning her body to the door. The kitchen staff was dead at her feet, obviously trying to keep the man from getting into the room beyond. In a rage I ran and struck the man, nearly severing his head in one swing. Nan was thankfully already gone as I removed the blade and moved her body to the floor, covering it. Inside the room Nan protected with her life laid my father, heavily wounded with my mabari was by his side. Mother ran to him and took his head in her lap, leaning against the sacks of grain.

"Thank the Maker, you're both alive! I was unable to get to you!" he spat blood and winced in pain. The wound in his stomach was flowing blood at an alarming rate. "Howe's men came through the old passage. I barely had time to call the guards."  
>"But that passage was filled in! How did he…."<br>"His family put it in so he obviously knew it was there. He must have had it cleared without anyone knowing." Mother was kissing father's head. "Darling, they killed William, Oriana and Oren."

"He is trying to use the chaos at Ostagar to cover this up, Teryn. With the king's men occupied and you gone, who is to say exactly what happened," a voice said from the doorway. I looked up as Duncan made his way in.

"Howe must pay!" I screamed, holding onto my father's wound that would not stop bleeding.

"There are too many men and I fear there is no way out. Soon his men will be here as well," Duncan knelt down by my father as he held out his hand to him.

"There is another way out here. I cannot but you must promise me you'll get my family out, Duncan!" he pleaded.

"No father you must come with us!" I knew that he was losing too much blood but could not stand the thought of leaving him here.

"No, Pup, I cannot go with you. I would only slow you down. Take your mother and ride with Duncan to Ostagar. Meet with the King and find your brother. Tell them what Howe has done." My father winced again, trying so hard to breathe against the pain. "Duncan, please protect my family."

"I give you my word only I ask for yours in return. I came here to recruit a warden and in truth, your daughter was the candidate I always had in mind. If I do this, I need her to help fight at Ostagar, as a Warden." Duncan said.

"What happened to Roderick?"

"Dead, in the main hall. He and the remaining guards were holding back the bulk of Howe's men." He informed my father.

"Then you have my word, Duncan. Now please, save my family!"

"I will remain as well," Mother said.

"No mother! Please, you must come with me!" I could not bear to lose any more of my family today.

"No darling, you must go now with Duncan. I have lived a good life and have never been separated from your father. I am not about to do that now. I can use my bow to buy you time to escape. Go now and live!" she looked up at Duncan. "Take her or she will not leave, Warden. Keep her safe and love her well." He bowed his head to her.

"Mother!"

"I am not blind, my love. I see that he loves you. Go with him now," she got her bow as Duncan grabbed my arm and pulled me away from my mother. I looked at my father but his eyes had closed. He was gone. Duncan found the door that my father spoke out and picked me up, putting me over his shoulder when I would not move away from my parents. He ran through the tunnel as the fire had reached the sacks that were all around my parents, making it hard to breathe. I could hear Mirabella and Theban running behind us. I used my fists to beat Duncan's back, demanding that he let me down to get my mother but he would not.

Once we were through the tunnel, Theban began to lead us through the forest to the cabin he had built. There were horses ready for us, along with my equipment in the saddle bags. Theban had brought four horses, no doubt in case my family had made it along with me. Duncan put me down and helped Theban get onto a horse and Mirabella took the other. Theban nodded once to Duncan and they rode off. Mirabella did not want to leave but Theban told her of his promise to me and she left with him. I had not moved. When he came to where I was I sprang up and hit him, again and again until I was weak and cried. He simply put me on my horse and we left as quickly as we could, not wanting to see if Howe's men had discovered the passage way or not.


	17. Chapter 17

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We rode for hours before I felt the need to speak. I whispered prayers for the souls of my family as we rode, asking that they find their way to the Maker, vowing that I would have my vengeance against the monster who my father once called friend. I cried thinking that I must now inform Fergus that his wife and son were now at the Maker's side. I started to withdraw more and more into my grief; Duncan unsure what he could say that would draw me out. Again I fell silent, thinking more and more what I could have done differently.

I know that Duncan occasionally spoke to me during the many hours that we rode yet still I did not respond. Vaguely I heard him speak of the recruits I would be joining; heard him speak of a Templar recruit but not quite catching the name. I recall him saying something that should have caught my attention several times but it was if I was dead to everything around me. When we stopped, Duncan had to help me off my horse or I would have stayed on it. I was limp in his arms and once on the ground I curled up in a ball next to my mabari and did not move. Duncan gave me food, which I held in my hands, not knowing what to do with until he guided it to my mouth.

The closer we got to Ostagar, my rage started to build again and I had my plans laid. We camped for the night and I took my bag down from my horse. We were camped near a lake and I went to wash up as best as I could. I had to peel the armor off, it being stiff from the dried blood from the men I had killed at the castle. I took out a tunic as I dried and went back to camp. Duncan looked relieved that I had finally done something other than stare off at nothing. Yet still I did not talk, just sat and petted my hounds head.

Duncan could not stand my silence. He knelt in front of me and shook me, trying to get some response from me. Finally he got back up and sat down on the other side of the fire. I watched him with move away and could see the haunted look in his eyes. I got him and went to where he was sitting. He looked up at me as I kneeled down in front of him. I leaned forward and kissed him. He kissed me back and pulled me closer to him.

"Make me warm, Duncan. Help me feel again." I begged him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I pulled at his hair, no longer patient. I needed to forget, to feel alive again even if I felt that I should have stayed and fought. And died with those I loved.

As soon as I was sure Duncan was asleep, I crept away and went back to the water's edge. I took out the bottle of ink my master had left and added water to it. I poured it carefully onto my brush and ran it through my hair, making sure to get as much as possible. I dried it on the tunic skirt, making sure it did not stain my skin. I wrapped up my hair in the tunic and wrapped my cloak tightly around my body. I went back and lay down next to Duncan again, waiting for dawn to arrive.

At first light I got up and started to dress in the armor my master had left me. I braided my hair and wrapped it up and off my neck. I used my silverite daggers reflective surface as I dipped a brush into the remaining ink and drew a line across my face, from one ear to the other, darkening my eyes. I spotted Duncan in the reflection of my blade. He was looking at the armor and watching as I used the ink.

"That might be permanent," was all he said.

"It's a very weak ink. So long as I do not use the needles it should not remain on my skin." I began placing the various daggers and swords in the sheaths.

"Auriella….."

"No, Duncan, do not call me that. Arl Howe thinks he has killed my entire family. No doubt he has plans to go after Fergus as well but I need him to believe that I am dead so that I may be able to reach Cailan. If he knows I am alive he may not stop until I am. If I am to live long enough to see him pay, I can no longer be Auriella Cousland." I lifted my cowl and placed it low over my face, pinning it in place.

"What shall I call you then?" he asked, taking the brush and adding decorative swirls to add to the illusion of a facial tattoo.

"Call me Katriel." I said, recalling my master's story from so long ago.

"Why Katriel?" he asked. I took the brush from him and put everything away in my pack.

"Have I ever told you the story of my master?" I asked him, closing the pack. Duncan stayed quiet as I picked it up and put it back on the horse. "He was granted the job of assassinating an Orlesian bard who was close to the rebel prince. She was sent here to betray Maric and fell in love with him instead. She pleaded with my master to allow her to settle her debts. I think she knew either way she would not survive and preferred to die at Maric's hand. My master allowed her to go, after she had promised she would not run. And yet when Maric learned who she was, he killed her. My master knew that this meant his death should he return to Antiva, so he stayed in Ferelden." I turned and looked at Duncan.

"And so is the tale of poor Katriel, the elf bard who helped Maric survive the Deep Roads. Yes, I knew Maric and had heard of his biggest regrets. It is not something that is known by anyone but me and one other person. And yet you know it as well." He said, making certain that the fire was completely out. "We need to get to Ostagar as soon as possible and meet with the king…Katriel." He turned and got on his horse, knowing that this meant that we would be strangers again. I would need to distance myself from him. After the battle I would do everything in my power to see that Arl Howe paid with his life.


	18. Chapter 18

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When we got to Ostagar, I needed to pause a moment to take it all in. I had heard of the majesty of Ostagar, even now that it had seen many battles and still remained. It had been built many centuries ago to hold back the Korcari Wild's barbarian hordes. We left our horses as soon as we reached Ostagar. I opted to leave my hound with my horse instead of the kennels inside the keep, knowing that should I need to travel quickly I could find my hound just where he was. Duncan did not like my decision but it was mine to make and I knew if anyone but me tried to come near my horse or my packs they would regret finding a mabari as well. As we approached the bridge we found a golden armored figure waiting for us. I tilted me head forward as I recognized the blonde hair of none other than King Cailan himself. He came forward and embraced Duncan, asking if he was able to bring any other recruits, eyeing my small frame.

"Yes, your majesty. This is Katriel." He waited for me to greet the king but I only crossed my arm across my chest and gave a slight bow.

"Have you brought the rest of the men from Highever?" he asked and I could not help but look up slightly at him.

"Has the king not heard?" I asked him directly.

"Katriel…"  
>"What has happened Duncan?" King Cailan asked, moving closer to me and trying to catch my eyes.<p>

"Arl Howe attacked Castle Cousland the night after most of the troops had marched for Ostagar." Duncan informed him.

"The Teryn and his family?" asked Cailan.

"They're all dead, your majesty; every man, woman and….child. Including the family of the Fergus Cousland. Slaughtered by Howe's men." I informed him, trying not to let emotion show on my face even if it had escaped in my voice. I saw as he took in what I said.

"Elric! Didn't Thomas Howe arrive this morning?" he asked the guide who was standing behind him.

"Yes, your majesty."

"Send someone to find him, quickly and have him taken to my tent. I wish to speak with him." I wanted to run into the keep to find Thomas myself but seeing that I had never been there before I would only get myself completely lost so I bided my time. I recalled he was rather young and had no reason to be here. "Would that I could send someone to locate Fergus Cousland but he has been sent out to scout in the Wilds. We can only wait until he returns."

I looked away from Cailan and clenched my fists, trying hard to resist the urge to hit the man in front of me. When I opened them again I saw that Duncan and the King had moved away from me so I followed them across the bridge to Ostagar. We passed many men on the bridge and had it been any other time I would have stopped to glance at the landscape but my only thought was to hear what Thomas Howe had to say about what his father had done. I followed Duncan and Cailan into a tent near the kennels and was glad I had decided to leave my mabari away from here. There were dogs inside the kennels and many were sick.

As soon I saw Thomas, I shifted my hand to the small pockets I had on my leg, within easy reach of smaller daggers. Cailan told his guards to stay outside so that we might have privacy and I could see that Thomas was confused as to why he was summoned before the king. He wasted no time in asking Thomas if he had known what his plans were for Highever, to which Thomas responded that his father was to ride with the Teryn and their combined troops to Ostagar.

"Then why did he attack Castle Cousland instead?" Cailan asked him.

Thomas took a step back, shocked that the king had suggested his father would do such a thing. "My father did no….."

"Duncan!" Cailan yelled as I had rushed past them.

I had lost my patience and I grabbed Thomas by the throat. "Your father **murdered** innocent children! Do not stand there and tell me he did not plan to betray the very man who considered him a friend!" I took out a dagger and had it very close to his throat. Yet as much as I wanted my revenge on his father, I could see he knew nothing of what Cailan had asked him and I let him go as Duncan yanked me away from Thomas.

"He knows nothing." I said, shaking Duncan's hand off of me.

A guard came in the tent and Cailan had Thomas removed to a different yet secured location. And he asked the guards to remain posted outside once again.

"Duncan, explain what has happened. Who is this woman really?" Cailan demanded. I sighed.

I turned and removed my cowl. "It is good to see you again, my old friend. I only wish it were under better circumstances." I curtsied as I looked at Cailan fully in the face for the first time.

"By the Maker! Auriella! You're alive! I don't understand. Duncan, I thought you said…."

"What Duncan said was all true. Howe attacked my home and now other than Fergus, I am the last remaining Cousland." I said, replacing my dagger to its pouch. "Duncan managed to help me escape."

"And your family?" he asked, softly.

"My father was too badly injured. My mother stayed with him to cover our escape. She refused to leave his side." I said, opening and closing my fists as I recalled the last time I had seen my family.

"I'm very sorry. Bryce was a dear friend to me and my father and Eleanor was with my mother when she passed. I promise you that when this battle is done, Howe will pay for all he has done to your family." He took my hands in his and I looked at him again, this time I could not help but remember the child I had played with so long ago.

"Thank you, Cailan. Howe must not be allowed to do this to anyone else." I bowed my head to him in gratitude.

"If I may ask, why the deception over who you were?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, my friend, but if for some reason you cannot, I will see that my family is avenged. Howe must believe that I died along with my family. I would ask that you treat me no differently than any other Warden recruit." I said and Cailan looked over at him.

"Duncan surely you don't….."

"No, Cailan. A promise was made by my father and I will honor it. I am to be a warden, if the Maker wills it." I knew he wanted to argue with me more but I backed away from him and stood by Duncan, taking his hand. "And if I may be so bold to ask you one last favor, my king?"

"Anything you wish."

"When this battle is done and Howe is dead, would you give me away?" I asked him, blushing at what I asked. He looked at us both and grinned.

"Give you away? Duncan, I had no idea!" Cailan came over and put his arms around us both.

"I was going to ask her father once I returned from Ostagar." Duncan said, looking at me sadly.

"I would be honored to give you to this man, my dear friend Duncan." Cailan said to me. "Now since I cannot stop you, I will leave you to your trials. I pray that I will see you again before the battle."

Duncan and I left the tent and he walked over to area not far from Cailan's tent. He stopped in front of the large fire and finally looked at me. "You still wish to marry me?"

"My mind has not changed. It is what I have dreamed of for so long, my love." I said, wanting so badly to kiss him. Duncan smiled sadly at me, not saying what he was thinking.

"Come, there is much to do before the battle. I need to speak to the mages. Feel free to roam the keep and should you spot Alistair, ask him to send the other recruits here." He said, back to the business at hand. I removed my cloak and handed it to him so that I would not look out of place while I walked around the Keep.

As he walked away I recalled I did not know who Alistair was but Duncan was now too far away for me to ask. I wandered over to the mage encampment but as curious as I was I did not want to disturb whatever magic they were casting. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an elder mage nearby and she asked if I was new to Ostagar. I told her I was newly arrived with Duncan and was looking for someone named Alistair. She chuckled, pointed up to a nearby area, a ruined temple, and told me to follow the commotion. I was a little unsure why until I came across a mage arguing with a blonde haired man. I approached cautiously, not wanting to interrupt and draw attention to myself. When the mage finally departed, I cleared my throat and he turned to me.

"You know," he said. "One good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together." I looked at him, wondering if I had heard him correctly.

"You are a _very_ strange man." I told him finally, hoping this was not the man I was looking for.

"You are not the first woman to tell me that." He said and smiled at me. He introduced himself as Alistair, after finding out that I was thankfully not another mage who had come to ruin his day even more. Inwardly I groaned that this was the man that I vaguely recalled Duncan mentioning but in my haze, I did not fully listen to everything that he has told me, yet I knew it was something important. And in trying to recall what Duncan had said I had missed some of what Alistair had been telling me.

"Well then, since you're no doubt new to Ostagar, how about I give you the grand tour?" he asked and smiled.

"I was told I could look around on my own for a bit." I didn't want him to tag along while I searched for my brother's men but he looked determined to follow me around. I was stuck with him so I finally allowed him to lead me to the various areas of the keep.

We walked past the mages and I spotted the quartermaster, deciding I should get rid of some of the weapons I had taken from Howe's men. I could tell that being so close to the encampment was making Alistair fidgety and thought he was not eager to run into more mages who wished to argue with him. He told me he had been recruited from the Templar order, which is what made them dislike him so much. Templars were in charge of hunting mages and guarding the Circle Tower, a place mages were forced to go to learn how to properly use their mage and to remain there, away from their families, for the rest of their lives. Truthfully, I could understand the animosity that the mages held for the Templars. It made me look at Alistair differently.

So off we went in order to find the other two recruits who had been waiting for Duncan to return with me. We came across one of the recruits easily, hidden behind some fallen masonry, rutting vigorously with a red haired elf. We quickly walked off in a different direction and I could see that Alistair was a brilliant shade of red. He noticed that I was looking at him and blushed even deeper. We quickly moved to the infirmary in the next raised area of the keep. There we came across a prisoner who begged for food and gave me a key he stole from the mages in return for getting a guard to agree to give him his meal. I thought I would return the key to Wynne, the elder mage who pointed me in the direction of Alistair.

We found the other recruit, Ser Jory who was a knight from Redcliff, by the revered mother, praying with some of the soldiers and injured men. He seemed very surprised that I was a woman and even commented that he didn't think women were even allowed to become Grey Wardens. Alistair admitted that while there were none so far here in Ferelden, he heard that there were at the Warden base in Orlais and the Anderfelds.

"I think you should worry more about my blades than my lack of manhood, ser knight, lest you find them pointed at you and soon." I told him through gritted teeth and he quickly left to return to Duncan.

I looked at Alistair, who was trying to think of something to say that would not offend me as Ser Jory had and told him, "How about you stop thinking of me as a woman?"

"Yes, ser!" he said and I walked away from him finally. I saw that the other recruit was finally done with his entertainment, as Alistair had pulled him aside and was gesturing to me, most likely telling him we witnessed his little performance. It didn't bother me as much as Alistair it seemed, to which I laughed as I continued through the keep alone. I soon discovered that there were more men than I had anticipated and did not easily spot anyone who bore the crest of my family. Nor did I spot any which bore the crest of the traitorous Howe and for that I was grateful. I would just have to hope that Fergus returned soon and was notified when he was brought before King Cailan. He should hear of what happened in Highever from me.

I returned to the central area of the Keep and saw that Duncan had returned and was talking sternly to the recruit Alistair and I had found with the elf. I had seen her working with the armor master as I walked back towards them. From the looks she was getting from some of the other soldiers, they were all waiting for her to get away to have a little fun as well. They all grew suddenly quiet as I came closer and Alistair looked had the good grace to look away.

"What are your orders, Duncan?" I asked, eager to continue with the ritual that would make me a Warden. He told us that we would be going into the Wild's with Alistair to retrieve fresh darkspawn blood for the joining ritual. We would also need to search the abandoned Warden Archive tower in the hopes to find some scrolls that had been left there long ago. I could see the others were not eager to go into the Wild's but Cailan had said earlier that Fergus had been sent in to scout with some of his men. I could only hope that I would find him before Howe's men did.

"Take care of your charges, Alistair. We need you all back as soon as possible," was all Duncan said and we soon left to the gates that led into the Wild's.


	19. Chapter 19

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I was eager to speak with Duncan but knew that until we could be alone, I could not. I needed to know if Fergus had yet returned from the Wilds. I was happy that none of the bodies that we came across was his but knew that we had only gone in a small area. The Wilds was a vastly uncharted territory and I was unsure exactly how far in he and his men were ordered to scout. Duncan was waiting for us in the Warden area and I could see the look of relief on his face when we entered the Keep. I also wanted to check on the soldier who we had found wounded and told myself I would look in on him once the ritual was over. Duncan gave the vials to the waiting mages and I handed over the treaties from the ruined tower. He read through them briefly and handed them back to Alistair.

"It will soon be time for us to begin the ritual. Alistair, please take them to the ruined Temple. I will be there shortly." He said and walked away. I watched him go and slowly followed the others to the temple where I had first met Alistair. I looked around and waited for Duncan to join us, needing to clear my thoughts and praying to the Maker that whatever happened now, I would make my father proud.

Once again Ser Jory began to complain about the ritual we were about to take place in and he started to have second thoughts. I wondered what made a Knight like Ser Jory show himself to be a coward when a thief like Daveth was willing to lay his life down to defend people he had no ties to. It raised my earlier opinions of him and lowered the ones I had of Jory even more. Alistair stood away from us, looking at each of us perhaps a little sadly and I wondered what my chances were of surviving this night. I didn't have much time to think on the matter as I spotted Duncan walk up the ramp towards us.

Duncan walked slowly towards us with a silver chalice and explained that to become a Warden, we needed to drink the blood of the darkspawn and take the taint of their blood into ourselves. I had known about this part of the ritual and was looking at the other recruits as it sunk in. Finally, he warned us that in taking in the tainted blood, there was the chance we would not survive. Alistair explained that in drinking the blood, we become immune to the taint and could use it to slay the Archdemon.

Duncan asked Alistair to speak the words that had been spoken since the first Wardens. We all bowed our heads as Alistair recited.

"Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you."

Upon glancing at Alistair and Duncan's faces, I knew that the chance of all three of us becoming Wardens was improbable. I prayed that the Maker would allow me to see this through, so that I may live to avenge my family, to see the end of the Blight, and so to finally be with the man I loved. I knew that what I asked was selfish, but I hoped that after all the pain I had endured to get here, He would see fit to grant me this. I could see that Ser Jory was weighing his chances of leaving without completing the joining as Duncan called Daveth to step forward and drink from the cup.

Daveth took the cup and drank deeply before handing the cup back to Duncan. At first nothing happened and I had hopes that he would survive. Suddenly he bent forward, writhing in pain and trying to breathe. I took a step towards him and felt Alistair put his hand upon my arm, stopping me from going to Daveth. I turned and looked at Alistair but he was looking at Daveth. I turned back to Daveth and stood helplessly as he fell to the ground, clawing at his throat. I noticed his eyes had gone completely white. Thankfully he soon stopped moving and I knew he was dead. I could hear Alistair sign behind me and I turned to Duncan who had looked on sadly. I could tell that this was not new to them.

He then calmly turned to Ser Jory, who immediately stepped back and refused to take the chalice Duncan offered him, as I knew he would. He started to draw his heavy broad sword but he had backed up against the temple wall and was unable to attack Duncan properly. I had reached for my own daggers when Duncan ran him through and soon he joined Daveth, dead on the ground. I could see that he was not happy with having to do it.

Duncan slowly turned to me and without a word I took the cup from him. I had made a promise to join the Wardens and even if there was a chance of my death, I would not back out. _Please, let me survive this, _I thought as I looked at the plain silver chalice, aged as it was, still filled with the awful blood we had been sent to collect and knew that I could not have any fears or doubts as I lifted the cup. I could see the fear for me in his eyes and still drank the remaining concoction it contained. I managed to calmly hand it back to him as I waited for the pain I knew was to come. I was not surprised as I doubled over and clutched at my head, thinking that this is what Daveth must have felt, what all who had participated in the joining must have felt. It was like no other pain, al spreading all over my body and I hoped that it would soon be over. I would either die from this or become a Warden. I opened my mouth to suck in more air but did not scream out, despite the pain.

Suddenly I had the strangest visions. I opened my eyes but did not see the ruined temple at the Keep. It was something so different and alien and the atmosphere was suffocating. It was so intense and full of the feeling of corruption that I felt that I would vomit the foul blood I had swallowed. I stiffed and lost the use of my legs, lost all feeling I had had. The pain was gone as suddenly and then there was nothing.


	20. Chapter 20

At first I thought I had failed until I slowly opened my eyes and looked upon Duncan's and Alistair's worried faces. I tried to get up, immediately feeling woozy and with both their help, managed to stand up. I must have been out for a while since the bodies of both Daveth and Ser Jory were now gone. When I was steady on my feet once again, I tried to see if I felt any different but could not tell if anything had really changed. I looked down at where I had last seen Daveth go down and Alistair gave me a blood filled pendant, to telling me it was to remind me of the recruits who did not live to become Wardens. I could tell that he remembered his own joining and wondered how close he had become to his fellow recruits before they died. He bowed to both me and Duncan and left the ruined temple area. Once he was far enough away, Duncan moved me to a small alcove that was hidden from sight and looked me over closely, touching my face before burying his face in my hair.

"I was afraid I had lost you for a moment. I was certain you would survive but when you fell I cursed myself for bringing you here." He said as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. I brushed my forehead against his rough beard and felt his shaky breaths as I clutched him even tighter against me.

"Hush, my love. I'm alright now." I said and kissed him deeply. Every time I was near him now all I wanted to do was kiss him and almost dying had brought the feeling out more strongly. "I prayed to the Maker that he would allow me to live so we could finally be together. After all this death, I kind of hoped he felt he owed me this one small favor." I smiled and he looked at me sadly. I put my hand gently on his cheek and said, "I understand that in taking in this taint, it not only makes us Wardens, but will shorten our lives. I am willing to spend what little time we have together, my love. I do not regret this if it means I can be with you." I said and kissed him again. I looked at him and saw the resolve in his eyes.

"Promise me this: if I should fall in battle, you will not mourn me the rest of your life." He said and I moved back from him, frowning and shaking my head at his request.

"Duncan, I cannot make that promise."

"I made you a Warden for selfish reasons. I do not want you to waste the time you have on me. I want your word on this, on your love for me, that if love should find you, you will let yourself be loved again." He pleaded and I felt a tear fall down my cheek. "Please."

"Only if you promise you will try to come back to me. I do not want to lose you after I just got your back." I said and looked down, not wanting him to see that while I said the words, my heart did not reciprocate the feeling.

"Maker willing, I will meet you after the battle is over and we will meet with the King." He said and kissed my hands. I knew then in my heart that we might not live past this battle. I held on to the hope that things would work themselves out and Duncan and I could be together. "Alistair says you brought back items from the Wilds to trade with the armor master. Go now, but return quickly. We must meet with the King to discuss the battle." He said as we moved out of the alcove. I was reluctant to let go of his hand but I could see that our time together had passed and there was much to be done before the battle.

I went back and found Alistair looking into the fire. I grabbed my cloak and the Chasind weapons but stopped when he did not follow me.

"Are you not coming to meet with the King, Alistair?" I asked.

"No, he only asked to speak with you and Duncan," he said and grinned at me. "You better hurry. The King doesn't like to be kept waiting."

I walked off in the direction of the armor master with the spoils from the Wild's. I looked back at Alistair and again tried to recall what Duncan had said about him, feeling that there was something about him I was forgetting.

Once I was done I headed back to where I had seen Duncan and Cailan, but this time there were others that I had seen around the Keep. One was the elder mage who was arguing with Alistair earlier and the woman was the Revered Mother I had seen praying earlier. The other man, a general in massive silverite armor, I recognized from my childhood. He was Teryn Loghain Mac Tir, King Maric's oldest friend, hero of the River Dane and father of Queen Anora. He had known my family and I could only hope that he would not recognize me. The last time I had seen him was when I was a child at court. I had chased after his daughter many times for bullying Cailan for one reason or another and I had never backed down as he came storming after me with a look that made everyone else afraid of him. After that my father had stopped taking me to Denerim, for fear that he would remember me as the child who dared challenge him. Just in case, I secured my hood low over my face and cautiously approached the group that had gathered around the table, where the King stood studying a map.

I stood beside Duncan and waited for the argument between Cailan and Loghain to subside. They were arguing Cailan's involvement in the actual battle and how he should not put himself in danger. I agreed but knew Cailan would not miss the opportunity to go into battle with the Grey Wardens by his side. As a child, he loved to re-enact his father's battles that had freed Ferelden from the Orlais. I often felt that living in the shadow of his father had made him deeply desire to be as well-known as his father Maric, who was called the Savior of Ferelden.

"Hello again." Cailen said when he noticed that I had joined them. "Um…Katriel, I believe you said, right? I'm glad to see that you've joined the ranks of the Grey Wardens." I crossed my arm across my chest and bowed to the King. I could see out of the corner of my eye that when he said my name, Loghain looked at me curiously but said nothing.

"You rely on these Wardens too much, Cailan." Loghain all but spat in our direction but Cailan only grinned and commented that maybe they should wait for the Orlesian forces. Teryn Loghain was well known for his hatred of Orlais as he had helped Maric defeat them in a great battle. The armor he still wore to this day was taken from the general he defeated, worn as a constant reminder of his victory. I hid my smirk as Cailan reminded him who was king and they proceeded to discuss how the battle was to proceed. I was unsure why I was called to this meeting when Cailan announced that he wanted both Alistair and I to head to the Tower of Ishal that was located across the gorge and far from the actual fighting that would take place below in the valley. We were to light a beacon that would signal Loghain's forces to join the battle. I looked at Duncan and could not believe that I would not be joining in on the battle.

"They need the beacon to signal the Teryn's forces. It is a vital role." Duncan explained and I can see he was not going to argue in front of the King. I looked at Cailan and could see it had been his plan all along to keep me out of the battle. I knew that I could not afford to argue so I clenched my jaw and hung my head so that I would not show the anger I felt. I knew that the Cailan I knew as a child had decided that he would not put me in any more danger than necessary and for a moment I hated him for thinking that I could not protect myself.

I breathed deeply as I tried to calm myself. I stopped paying attention as the mage and revered mother started to bicker again in earnest. I knew that I would not be able to change Cailan's mind and as soon as we were dismissed, I stalked angrily away. Duncan followed me and tried to stop me before I got to area where Alistair was waiting for orders but I would not stop. If I did I would act out on my anger for being forced to stand by while they fought down in the valley. He informed Alistair of our glorious assignment and he was also not thrilled to be sent away from the battle. That even after the beacon was lit we could not join the battle unless summoned. I paced in front of the pyre as Duncan reminded him that it was by the King's order.

"Just so you, if the King ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no."

I looked at him suddenly and laughed, losing some of my anger as Duncan sighed at us both. I could see he was relieved that I had stopped pacing and now stood at Alistair's side. We knew our orders and pathetic or not, we would carry them out. I knew I had squandered my last chance to say anything to Duncan but Alistair spoke up as we turned to leave.

"Duncan…may the maker watch over you." Alistair spoke solemnly. I could see that he was just as unhappy to be separated from the actual battle as I was and even more so not to be fighting at Duncan's side. I recalled that Duncan had recruited Alistair and that now during such an important battle, we both felt the need to fight besides him, if only just this once.

My reasons for not wanting to see him go were my own and much more selfish than Alistair's and I could only watch with a heavy heart as Duncan walked away towards a different gate to join the other Wardens I had not had time to meet. I only hoped that he knew that I longed to be with him no matter the outcome and again prayed silently to the Maker that I would see him again after the battle was over.

Soon he was gone to join the King and the other Wardens. Alistair and I were left to cross the bridge to the Tower. I resented having this simple task and I was sure that Alistair resented having to babysit the new Warden. I looked at him as he gathered his weapons, wishing we could disobey and join Duncan once the beacon was lit but we would need to stay in the tower unless specifically called upon. I know that Cailan thought I needed protecting but could not understand why he felt Alistair should be the one to stay with me.

"I'm sorry you got stuck with me, Alistair," I apologized as we started across the bridge that was now packed with men and armaments. It was orchestrated chaos, men filing past each other to take their posts and staying well away from the sections of the bridge that had fallen away. I found that I had to yell to be heard above the noise all around us. Everything had started so quickly once the King and the Wardens had gone down to the valley below. "You should be fighting with Duncan, not lighting a blasted beacon!"

"I must admit I'm not entirely shocked." He yelled back as he dodged soldiers who were rushing to their positions on the bridge.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

I stopped and looked at him by a section not yet filled with men. "Duncan cares about you, Alistair. If he could, he would want you by his side. I'm the reason you're stuck doing this blasted assignment." I informed him and stopped to let a few more soldiers cross. I looked down at the valley below and wished I could be down there when I heard the distant shout from further down the bridge.

"_INCOMING!"_ was all I heard before I was pulled away from the edge and had the wind knocked out of me. I closed my eyes against the pain and opened them to see Alistair looking down at me. He had pulled me away from the edge as it was being barraged from below. Unfortunately he had landed on top of me and he was heavy in his armor.

"Well, it looks like you might need me by your side after all." He grinned as he helped me up. "Even if it's just to help you light a bloody beacon!" I needed to stand closer to him as men were rushed off the bridge and others came to replace the fallen soldiers.

"If we're lucky, Duncan will call us down to help later on once the Teryn's men have joined the battle. Let's hurry and get this thing lit!" I replied loudly over the noise of the battle around us and we continued to hurry across the bridge towards the tower. Luckily we made it across before the bridge was bombarded again. Once we were on the other side we were met by a guard who informed us that the tower had been overrun by darkspawn. I looked at Alistair grimly and we followed him towards the Tower. _The darkspawn were only supposed to be down in the valley below. There weren't supposed to be any this close to the Keep! _I thought as I raced besides Alistair, drawing my weapons as a precaution.

We came upon a mage and a small amount of tower guards fighting darkspawn before we reached the doors to the tower. With their help we defeated them and quickly went inside to find that the Teryn's men were nowhere to be found. We searched the rooms and fought several more darkspawn in the main floor of the tower. In the room near the stairs we came across a gaping hole where something obviously very large had broken through the floor and from the stench, it was where the darkspawn had broken into the tower. It was here we found the corpses of the guards who had tried to keep the darkspawn from taking the tower ground floor over but they had been completely outnumbered. From the looks of the armor, none were the Teryn's men. I looked at Alistair before we continued but was disturbed that we had yet to come across any of the Teryn's men that were supposed to be guarding the Tower.

It was on the second floor that I heard someone calling for help but when we reached him, I knew it was too late. Thomas Howe must have locked himself in one of the rooms and hid when the tower had been overrun. When we reached him he was bleeding profusely and I could see the fear in his eyes as his life's blood spilt from the gaping wound to his side. The small darkspawn had charged us once he had dealt him the fatal blow but had been brought down by the guard's arrow. I reached him first and held his hand as his eye's glazed over and he stopped breathing. I draped my cloak over him and we continued on to the remaining floor, to light the beacon.

We fought through more groups of darkspawn the higher we made it up the tower, still without locating any of the men that belonged to the Teryn. I had questioned the guards if there had even been any of Loghain's men here in tower and from the way he avoided my eyes, I knew that we would not find any. Loghain had not deemed sending his own men to the tower a high enough priority yet here we were, doing something so trivial when the real battle was raging in the valley. I was angry once again, vowing that I would have severe words with Loghain once we safely reached Denerim and used that anger to clear out more of the rooms of the darkspawn.

When we managed to get to the top floor of the tower there were still several more darkspawn following closely behind us. It felt that no matter how many we killed there were many more willing to attack us. I could see that the remaining guards were losing all hope that we would survive and that the mage needed time to rest. He had been continually healing when needed and had an assortment of defensive magic he could use but it was not limitless and I would see the strain was starting to wear on him. I barricaded the door leading to the top and set traps with various items I had picked up from the various rooms. It gave us enough time to catch our breath and make it to the last floor. It had taken us longer that I had liked to reach the top of the tower and was afraid we had missed the signal to light the beacon.

It was here that I encountered the largest darkspawn yet. Alistair called it an ogre and I was estimating our chances of bringing down this brute as Alistair ordered the men to bar the door as best as they could. It was the only darkspawn on the top floor but by the sheer size of it, we needed to strike it together or it would overwhelm us. Alistair and I drew its attention away, leaving the remaining guards and mage to keep the doors barred from the other darkspawn who made it passed the traps I had set. At first its attention was focused on Alistair as he was a larger target and most likely the biggest threat to it. I got in back of it and attacked its back and knees with my swords, distracting it from crushing Alistair with its massive arms. I switched weapons and dug my daggers into its back and used them to climb up to reach its neck from behind as Alistair ran his blade through the brute while I slit its throat. I jumped away as it fell down and Alistair ran to look outside the tower window.

"What do you see? Did we miss the signal?" I asked, grabbing the closest torch and approached the beacon.

"I'm not sure but that door won't last much longer. Light it and we'll help them." He said and started to walk back towards me. I lit the beacon and turned as the doors to the tower broke and a large group of darkspawn poured into the tower. I watched as the guards were slain by arrows before I could move to help them and the mage moved away from the broken doors as the windows behind us shattered. I risked a glance behind me, trying to find the reason for the window shattering. We were soon to be overrun.

I watched helplessly as whatever was coming in from the broken windows grabbed a hold of Alistair and pulled him out of the tower. I reached out to him but stopped when I felt the warm spray of blood splatter across my cheek. I turned to find the mage had run towards me but now had arrows buried deep in his body and saw that I now was the last one remaining. It was several moments before I noticed that I too had been struck and I looked down at the arrows I fell. I thought I heard Alistair calling out to me as I hit the floor. Again I heard more glass shattering and a loud screech as whatever had pulled Alistair out of the tower was back and was reaching in to where I was lying. I could barely see the large shape past the blood that was covering my eyes and gave in to the pain that was pulling me under. My last thought was that the Teryn's men had to have seen the signal and would join the fight that was going on below. My part was a small one, but hopefully one that would help win against these abominations.

If only I had known that was not what had truly happened.


	21. Chapter 21

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I awoke slowly, still woozy from blood loss and uncertain as to why I was still alive. I made a mental check of all functioning body parts and other than a deep pain where the arrows had pierced my body, I was intact. I opened my eyes and found myself in an unfamiliar room but the person sitting by the bed was possibly that last person in all of Thedas who I would have expected. It was the witch, Morrigan and she was waiting for me to say something to her, to prove that I was indeed among the world of the living.

"Awake at last, I see. I imagine you were sure that you would not have survived but then Mother seemed certain that you would. How are you feeling? Do you remember who I am?" she asked as I continued to stare at her.

"You're Morrigan, the mage we met at the abandoned Warden tower in the Wilds." I croaked, my throat dry. She gave me water to sip slowly and I looked around the room, wondering again how I had come to wake up in this unlikely place.

"If you are looking for your companion, he is outside with mother. He would not leave your side until she assured him that you would not die from your wounds." I drank more water slowly. "I may have threatened his manhood once or twice after he knocked over a few of my things, the big clumsy oaf. How you can tolerate him is beyond my comprehension." She said in a huff and I tried my best to give a small laugh. I had a nagging thought that was trying to come to the surface but every time I thought I had it in my grasp it slipped away again and I found my eyes closing once more.

I bolted upright hours later and immediately regretted it. I was still in pain but it was immensely less than it was earlier but the room was now spinning. I knew that if Morrigan's mother was healing me, she was forcing my body to do it quickly and now I was almost whole but still protesting. If I could have given myself more time to rest, I would be fine and on my feet in a few days' but what had jarred me awake was the screams of the men I had seen cut down as the tower doors were breached. I looked around and found Morrigan attending the fire.

"Awake again, I see. I hope this time you are well enough to travel. Mother says that even in this part of the Wilds, we may not be as safe as we once were from the darkspawn horde." She turned and looked at me as I looked down at the bindings on my chest and stomach, still seeing the arrows that had almost killed me. "Do you hear me? I'm trying to tell you it's no longer safe for you here. You will need to take that idiot companion of yours out of the Wilds and soon. Mother says that when you get up she needs to speak to you both."

"Wait. I do hear you but first I need to know what happened. How did I get here and what happened at the Keep?" My question stopped her as she was heading towards the door. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and she came and sat down next to me.

"Do you really wish to know?" she asked, looking at the door. "I was not there. I can only relate what Mother told me."

"I need to know what happened, Morrigan. Please, anything you can tell me, I would appreciate it." She closed and opened her eyes before she would look at me.

"Mother knew that despite all the men that were stationed at Ostagar, it would not be enough. After you left, she waited until nightfall and then went to the keep. It was she who got you out of that tower with your friend, the other Grey Warden."

"How?" I didn't recall seeing anything past the large creature that was trying to get to me from the windows.

"She transformed into a dragon and pulled you both out of the tower, though you were heavily wounded when she returned here." I gave her this look of disbelief, for I had never heard of a mage having the ability to shift into any creature. "Tis true. Mother's magic is far more powerful than any other mage you have encountered and it is an ability not taught to the circle mages, for good reason, I imagine."

"Why did she save us? Surely there were others…worthier than Alistair or myself." I somehow knew that the answer I was about to receive was not something I was willing to admit to myself when she again sighed and looked at me.

"Because there was no one left to save. She said what drew her to the tower was a beacon that was lit and far below there were men dying on the field." She paused and looked at me. "No one was spared, not even the King himself, who was foolish enough to be on the battlefield when the darkspawn attacked the Keep."

I felt as if my heart had stopped. I knew Duncan was to fight besides King Cailan and if he fell, I knew there was no hope that I would ever see my beloved alive again. I fought back the tears by taking shaky breaths and finally was able to turn to her again.

"What else did she see?" I asked calmly, again in control of my emotions.

"She was curious as to why a legion of men were led away from the battle right after the beacon was lit. She said some cryptic about "betraying the ones we love" but I was unable to get an answer to what that meant."

"Wait, then the Teryn's men did not join the battle? Surely she must have been mistaken!" I could not believe what I was hearing. Surely Loghain would never have left the King, his King, to die when he could have saved him.

"Mother may be old, but she is not blind. I am to assume that the beacon you lit was to be a signal for these men to join the battle? Well, perhaps the Teryn saw a better opportunity with the King now dead." She said bluntly. "Now if you're able, you should go and speak to Mother. She can tell you far more than I can about what happened."

She started to get up but I reached out and put my hand on her arm. "Wait, Morrigan. I need to ask." She sat again and looked at me.

"Were my injuries…"

"I thought you dead when Mother brought you in but she was certain she could heal you. You friend was mostly unharmed but I fear his mind is clouded with grief. I suppose it would be unkind for me to say that he…"

"They were his friends, Morrigan. And one in particular was like a father to him. I understand his grief," was all I could say, hoping she would not take my words as offensive. I could see that Morrigan was a woman who was used to speaking her mind but right now I was fighting to keep myself in check. I could tell that she disliked Alistair but she would not be the one who would have to help him through his grief. I could not afford to show him that I mourned Duncan as well as he did. So I did what I knew best, I willed my heart to grow cold once more.

"I'm sure you both lost people you cared about. I was once told that this King of yours was a good man as well, though a bit foolish." She said, trying to curb her tongue.

"Yes, he was a good man. But I hardly knew anyone at Ostagar." I lied. "I had only just arrived on the day that I met you and your Mother. I had become a Grey Warden as soon as I returned to the Keep and soon after the battle began. I never got a chance to meet any of my fellow Wardens other than Alistair and Duncan who recruited me."

"So what are your plans now, if you don't mind my asking?"

"I suppose that depends on Alistair. We will probably need to get word back to the other Wardens who were not at Ostagar. We will need their help to stop the darkspawn. We may even need to see who is left in charge since the King fell." I replied, already setting my mind to ignore the pain I was still feeling and get myself on my feet. I began looking around for my armor as Morrigan got up again to leave.

"Morrigan…thank you for helping us. And for putting up with my questions. I did not mean to offend you in any way."

"You're…welcome." She hesitated at the door and gave me a small smile. "I will look in making some food, if you feel you up to it. You will need your strength for your journey." She said and left me to gather my armor.

I looked in dismay at the damage that was caused by the arrows, hoping that I could find a suitable blacksmith along the way to hopefully repair it. I had no choice but put my armor back on and hope for the best. I was thankful the rest of my armor was intact and that I didn't lose too many of my weapons. I was happiest when I found my locket still hidden in my pack. At least I still had something small to help me mourn later on. I stood in front of the door and gathered myself as best as I could.

I opened the only door to the small cabin and stepped out to find Alistair and Morrigan's mother. He was looking intently at the fire that was burning in front of the cabin and was lost in his thoughts.

"Here is your companion now, boy. You can see for yourself she is unharmed, as promised." Morrigan's mother said to Alistair, who looked up at me in surprise and then his face lit up in utter relief. He quickly got up and walked to me, looking at me so intently I was tempted to cover my body even though I was fully clothed by my armor. Finally he closed the distance between us and put his arms around me carefully. I could feel him slightly trembling and I bit the inside of my cheek to retain the calm I had worked so hard for.

"Thank the Maker, you're alive! When I last saw you, I thought I had lost you too." He said, his eyes red. "If it weren't for Morrigan's mother…"

"Don't speak of me as if I am not here, boy," she scolded him as she stepped forward and looked at us both.

"I mean no disrespect, it's just I don't even know what to call you." He said, sheepishly.

"Names are pretty but useless. The Chasind call me Flemeth." She answered and we both bowed our heads in gratitude. In the farthest recesses of my mind, I knew that her name should mean something to me but right now I had many more questions that needed answering.

"Thank you for helping us, Flemeth. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but may I ask you why you saved us?" I asked.

"Sometimes I wonder that myself," she muttered to herself. "Well we cannot have all the Grey Wardens dying all at once, can we? Someone has to deal with the darkspawn. It has always been the Grey Wardens duty to unite the lands against the Blight or did that change when I wasn't looking?" she laughed. "If you're wondering why I saved you and not your fellow Wardens or even your King, I can only say that by the time I made it safely to Ostagar the battle was nearly over. The only things moving on the battlefield below were those creatures."

"So it's true. Cailan is dead. Duncan is dead. We've lost." Was all Alistair said as he walked towards the water that was next to the cabin. "This just doesn't seem real."

"You're alive, are you not, boy? And a Grey Warden. I should think that you can think of something that can help you defeat these creatures. As only the Wardens can." She looked shrewdly at us both. "Surely there are others you can look upon for help."

"The treaties! Alistair, do you still have them?" I recalled that once Duncan read them, he had given them to Alistair for safe keeping. He found his pack and was relieved that they were still there and he handed them to me. I quickly glanced at the papers and was relieved that what I was reading could be the help we desperately needed. I handed them back to Alistair.

"Of course. The treaties from the ruins! We can use these to call upon the Circle mages, Dalish elves and the dwarves to aid the Wardens!" Alistair exclaimed as he read them.

"But what about Loghain? What reason could he possibly have for betraying Cailan?" I couldn't help but wonder out loud and saw that my question made Alistair frown but Flemeth give me a knowing smirk.

"Why indeed? Was he not tasked to give the King advice? What could he possibly want that he would willingly leave him to die?" she said, saying what I had feared. "Come now! He would not be the first king to gain his throne that way!"

"Would he really abandon the son of his oldest friend?" I asked Alistair.

"I would not have thought it possible yet here we are." he said as he carefully placed the treaties in his pack. "If what Flemeth says is true, then Loghain will most likely lie to the queen. If there truly is no one left from Ostagar, who will dispute that he didn't try to save Cailan?"

"Do not doubt that what I tell you is true, boy." Flemeth glared at him and Alistair winced.

"I didn't…I apologize."

"Good. But what you say is true. Without someone to tell Ferelden what the Teryn has done, it may soon be too late to save ourselves and once we fall, there will be no one to stop the darkspawn. What you need now is someone who can inform others of what Loghain has done to the rest of the kingdom." Flemeth advised.

I looked at Alistair as he shook his head in agreement.

"Arl Eamon had not yet arrived at Ostagar before the battle had started. If we can speak to him, tell him that Loghain abandoned his nephew, I'm sure that he will also help us!"

"How are you so sure he will help us?" I asked.

"He was Cailan's uncle and I know him, he's a good man and well respected in the Landsmeet. We could go to him and appeal to him for help!"

I could not help but share a little of his optimism, knowing that if we once again had a chance to defeat the darkspawn, knowing we might have allies we could call upon, despite Loghain's treachery. But first we would need to reach Arl Eamon…

"An Arl to plead your case to and an army of mages, elves and dwarves to aid you. Sounds like there may be hope for Ferelden after all." Flemeth smiled at Alistair as well.

He turned to me and asked, "So can we do this? Go to Redcliff and the other places and build an army?"

"Why not? Isn't that what Grey Wardens do?" I answered him and he smiled back at me.

I turned to Flemeth, crossed my arm across my chest and bowed my head to her. "I thank you again, Flemeth, for saving us and saving my life. I hope to one day repay you for all you've done for us here." I told her formally as Alistair reciprocated my movements.

"Always so formal, Warden but do not worry, I ask for nothing in return. Perhaps there is still one last thing I can help you with but know this, what I offer is most precious to me. Without it, you have little hope of defeating the darkspawn."

"I would not decline whatever help you wish to offer." I told her, silencing Alistair before he could protest.

"I should hope not." She said.

Morrigan walked out of the hut and joined us then. "Mother, the supper is ready. Shall we have two guests for the eve or none?"

"The Grey Wardens are leaving shortly. And you will be joining them." Flemeth informed Morrigan.

"Such a shame…what?"

I could not believe that the help she offered was her very own daughter and I turned to Alistair before he spoke out loud what I could clearly see on his face.

"Thank you but if Morrigan does not wish to join us, we will not force her. Maybe it is best for her to remain. You may need to leave the Wilds soon if the darkspawn…"

Flemeth interrupted me and said. "Her magic will be useful to you. Even better, she knows the Wilds and how to get past he horde."

I could see that Flemeth's mind was made up even before we had agreed and that there was no talking her out of it, even though Morrigan briefly looked at Alistair with such disdain that I wondered exactly what was the real reason she was coming with us. I Finally I agreed that Morrigan had been useful to us before and if she would be willing to join us, I had no objections. I looked at Alistair and he held back his argument's when I pointed out we needed all the help we could get since we were only two lone Wardens.

They argued and finally Morrigan relented and went to collect her things. I could see that Alistair was not pleased she would be coming with us but I had given him no choice in the matter. Morrigan would be our guide once again and I needed something to move towards or else I would wander back as close to Ostagar as I could get and hope to take as many darkspawn before I finally fell.

Alistair had moved back to the water's edge, his arms crossed over his chest and I knew that at some point we would argue over my decision. But I could see that he had looked to me to lead and so I did. Slowly I approached Flemeth now that I had the privacy to ask her one final question. She gave me a knowing look but shook her head. I had hoped that somehow Fergus had made his way out of the Wilds.

Now I was truly all alone.


	22. Chapter 22

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It was an easy decision that our first stop should be Lothering, as it was the closest village to the Imperial Highway and once there it was not much farther to Redcliff in the west. I was eager to hear of any news that may have already circulated out of Ostagar and was hoping that maybe other survivors would have made it there as well. We kept a steady pace while traveling through the Wilds and once we were clear it occurred to me that Alistair had not said a word once we had departed Flemeth's hut. I turned to him and saw that he kept pace with us but mostly looked at the ground and would not meet my eyes. For now I was perfectly content not to broach what was surely going through his mind. It had taken most of my resolve not to break down over the loss I shared with Alistair but I was still unwilling to admit who I truly was.

I continued to notice the glares that Morrigan threw in Alistair's direction and knew that I would need to eventually figure out why she disliked him so much. I sped up to walk besides her and I knew that I had surprised her in doing so.

"I would like to ask you a few things, if you will allow, Morrigan?"

"It depends. You may ask but I do not have to answer you. I am not here to satisfy your curiosity. I am here at the behest of my mother and nothing more. Were there more of you I would probably have only needed to help you find your way past the horde and leave you to your mission." She said and again glared at Alistair. "If I may ask, _weren't_ there more of you? I do recall two other superstitious fools the first time we met."

"They were also Warden recruits," I sighed, "and they did not survive the Joining."

"Becoming a Warden is surely a high price to pay…but I suppose there are those who feel it is their duty to pay it so that others may live in these dangerous times. Not I, of course. I have no intention of becoming a Warden should I survive this."

"Do not worry, Morrigan. You will not be forced to live the life we have chosen." I could not help but look back at Alistair.

We continued to walk in silence when finally she turned and asked, "What is it you wanted to know, Warden?"

"You mentioned your mother could change her shape. I was just wondering if you could do the same."

She thought about her answer for some time before she spoke. "While I cannot become the dragon that she was when she rescued you, I have other shapes I can become."

"I'm assuming you mean animals." I said and she nodded. "Can you become something other than that? Perhaps even take another human shape?"

"To what end? I have no desire to live my life as someone other than who I am. And besides, it isn't possible. To take animal form I need time to study everything about the animal."

"I guess humans are too complex. That's really too bad. It had such potential! And from what you said, you would probably need time to study the subject and I mean no offense to you, but you seem to dislike everyone…"

"Well I wouldn't say I dislike everyone. I'm still talking to you, am I not?" she joked and I smiled at her.

"I tend to grow on people." I looked back at Alistair and said, "He grows on you too…eventually."

"Oh, I doubt that very much, Warden."


	23. Chapter 23

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We continued on but this time in a comfortable silence between Morrigan and me. Alistair was still keeping to himself, looking at the scenery and I was beginning to worry that he may never return to his usual cheerful self. I had actually started to miss his voice when he looked up and noticed something in the field that we had not.

"Am I the only one seeing this? Is that a dog?"

I looked at Morrigan and walked back to see what he was staring at in the distance, sure that he was mistaken. But on closer inspection I too saw a mabari hound making its way through the mud and trees.

"I wonder what he's doing all alone?" Alistair stared as I climbed over the rickety fence that lined the road and walked towards the hound. "Wait! Where are you going?"

I whistled as loudly as I could to attract the attention of the hound, sure that he was mine and when he began running in my direction I knelt as he rushed towards me, almost knocking me over when he finally reached me and began licking my face.

"Maker's breath! Is he your mabari?"

"He is! His name is Darius. And what a good dog you are!" I was checking him for any signs of blood and was glad to find only small minor scratches. He was completely filthy but he unharmed and for that I was grateful.

"Ugh! That dirty mongrel is _disgusting!_" Morrigan exclaimed as she saw him rolling in the dirt at my feet. I turned and glared at her. She looked off in the direction he came from and pointed. "And it seems he brought a friend with him. Yours as well, Warden?" she asked and I turned to look and smiled. It was my horse.

"He is indeed. I left my hound with him at Ostagar in the Keeps stables. They must have wandered off during the battle."  
>"He must have been looking for you all this time." Alistair put in as I waited for the horse to approach me. I walked up to him cautiously and checked him for any damage and was given a playful nudge in return. I walked him carefully back towards the fence and stayed with him until we came to an opening. I gave the reins to Alistair as I checked the packs that were still on the horse, thankful that everything was still there. Especially my spare cloak as it would soon become cold later that night.<p>

"I never got a chance to go back to the stables to get my stuff. Thankfully it's all still here. At least we can all take turns riding to Lothering, if that's all right with you, Morrigan." I said and turned back to where she had been standing but only saw a small wolf instead. On the ground I found her pack and staff and gathered them up. "Well I guess that resolves that problem for now. Alistair, you can ride with me, if you're willing. We can get to Lothering faster this way. At least get as close as we can before we are forced to camp for the night."

"And what about Morrigan…wait, where is she anyways? Have my prayers been answered? Is she finally gone?" he asked as I walked back to the horse and handed him her pack.

"No, not gone but likely to bite you if you keep going on this way." I joked as I got on my horse and he looked back at the wolf.

"You're not seriously suggesting… You're joking, right?"

"Not even in the slightest." I laughed as the wolf growled at him and he looked up at me with a confused look on his face. "What's wrong, Alistair? Is there a problem? I assume you've ridden before."

He scratched his cheek and looked up at me sheepishly. "Well yes but I was never really good at it. And never with another rider."

"Don't worry. It's easier when you have someone to hold on to." I said and grinned at him, helping him up when he was ready. Once he was seated I could tell he was at a loss once again. I turned slightly to him and saw he was blushing. "You can hold on to me, Alistair. I don't want you falling off." I said, finally grabbing his hand and putting it on my waist. I could feel he was reluctant to hold on but once I got the horse going slowly forward, I felt his hand tighten and his other hand grab onto my waist. I could feel that he sat stiffly behind me, like he was afraid he would fall off if he moved too much so I set off at a more moderate pace, not wanting to tire my horse out with the extra weight.


	24. Chapter 24

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We were finally forced to stop for the night. The road was manageable during the day but I wasn't about to take unnecessary risks in the dark. It had been some time since we sensed the darkspawn so I suggested Alistair try to get some rest but he had refused. But as the afternoon wore on I knew it was only a matter of time before he succumbed to the swaying of the horse's gait. Alistair had finally grown comfortable enough on the horse that I felt him lean forward and when I felt his arms wrap around me, I knew he was asleep. I found a secure spot near the road and called out to Morrigan who remained ahead of us the entire way. I woke a weary Alistair so we could both dismount and I silently laughed as he nearly fell off. I tied the reins to a low hanging branch and we set about making camp for the night. Morrigan walked towards us and sat down on the other side of the pile of wood I had Alistair gather and he glared at her sleepily while I went into the forest to hunt. Luckily I was able to catch a few small rabbits and brought them back.

Upon returning I could tell that I had stepped into the middle of a heated discussion between Alistair and Morrigan. She had her staff ready in her hand and he had his hand on the handle of his broad sword and I decided I needed to end this fighting between them.

"_Enough! _We have enough troubles without the two of you at each other's throat! I will not tolerate any more of this from either of you or so help me I will feed you to the Archdemon!" I ranted and to my dismay, they both started to _laugh_ at me. "Children!" I muttered and walked away to peacefully clean the rabbits. I turned as Alistair followed me and looked at me sheepishly as I had my knife ready in my hand.

"Do you need any help?"

"Not from you. Honestly Alistair, why do you hate Morrigan so much?" I asked him, lowering my knife.

"She started it! All she does is poke at me!"

"And you let her get to you! Honestly if you show her that what she says bothers you then she will continue to berate you." I waited a few seconds before continuing. "Look at it from her point of view, Alistair. She was forced to come with us. You are an ex-Templar and have made it well known what you think about her. You judge her before even knowing her." I told him and he hung his head. I walked up to him and put my hand on his arm. "I know we haven't known each other for very long but I think almost dying together has made us rely on one another. So please, for my sanity, will you stop? I'm not asking you to like her, Alistair. Just make peace."

"For you, I will try but I make no guarantees." He said and smiled.

"If it's privacy you desire I could arrange to leave the two of you alone once when we reach Lothering…" I started when I noticed his blush.

"What? Maker's Breath! I would never…"

"Bite your tongue, Warden. I would soon rather set him on fire than let him near me." Morrigan said from close by and I smirked. Alistair spun and glared at her before walking away.

I stopped cutting and looked at her. "I meant what I said, Morrigan. I apologize that you were forced to come with us but if this has any chance of working then we need to work together. Could you at least pretend not to hate each other so much?"

"I make no promises. But if he can keep a civil tongue then so shall I." she said and walked away.

"Yes, we'll see how long that lasts." I muttered to myself.


	25. Chapter 25

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After dinner I allowed the others to rest while I took the first watch. I had made sure that my horse had water and left him to graze nearby in a different spot away from the road. I looked on as Alistair was the first to fall asleep, well away from Morrigan. My hound chose to lie near him when he started to shiver under the cloak I draped over him. I added more wood to the fire and stared off into the night, trying hard to keep my own eyes open. It had been a long day and I was stiff from all the activity. When I felt I could not keep my eyes open any longer, I found Alistair placing my cloak over me and had taken over the watch. He sat down again against a tree and my hound gave him a reproachful look for having woken him up. I looked over and saw that Morrigan was still sleeping peacefully, her back to the fire. She had an animal skin wrapped tightly around her and I envied that she slept so soundly. I had finally drifted off to sleep when the visions started once again and I jerked awake. Alistair had his hand on my shoulder with a worried look on his face.

"Are you alright? I saw you moving about and wasn't sure if I should wake you."

"I've never had dreams as vivid as these." I told him as he sat down beside me. I sat up and looked at him, rubbing my eyes and looking around. It was still dark and I wasn't sure I wanted to close my eyes again.

"Can you describe them? Sometimes it helps when you talk about them." He said and put his hand on my mine.

"You're freezing! Here, we'll share the cloak to stay warm. We'll need to get you one once we reach Lothering." I said and moved closer to him, covering the both of us as best as I could. I felt him stiffen up as I got closer to him and leaned on his shoulder, wrapping my arm around his waist. He looked away from me and I looked up at his face and saw he was uncomfortable. "I won't bite, Alistair. But I would be most annoyed at you if I found you had frozen to death after surviving Ostagar!" I joked with him and he smiled at me. I felt him slowly and awkwardly moving his arm around my back to draw me closer to him as I laid my head on his shoulder before I continued.

"I felt like I was underground, in a place I had never been before. All around me I could feel movement and I needed to get as far away as I could but the feeling came to me from all directions. And in the darkness I could feel a large presence but I as I turned, it was still too obscured and I was thankful I could not see what it was."

"Not only can we sense the darkspawn, sometimes we get vivid dreams about them as well. I had rather hoped that you would not get them so soon. They can be rather terrifying and I wish I could say you get used to them. From what I understand, they do stop for a while."

"Do you still get these dreams?" I asked, yawning.

"Sometimes I do. I'm still a new recruit." He said and he laughed. "You're actually taking it better than most. I'm told I screamed so loudly I woke the whole camp! Not very manly I'm afraid." He admitted softly.

"I doubt anyone has ever had to deal with something as horrible as this, Alistair." I said and yawned again.

"Get some rest. There are still a few hours till morning."

I had already closed my eyes and fallen back asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

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I woke again as the sky was barely starting to lighten. I looked around and saw that Morrigan was stirring the fire and that I was now lying on Alistair's chest. He had lain back and his eyes were closed.

"I had allowed him to take his rest not long ago, Warden. Even I could see that you both needed your rest." She said as I sat up, slowly removing his arm from around my waist and wrapped the cloak around him as I got up to stretch. "You both looked so peaceful, lying together under your cloak."

"We'll need better supplies if we're going to be traveling. It gets rather cold at nights during this time of year and it shows signs of snow soon. I mostly have only armor and weapons in my packs. Hopefully we can find what we'll need in Lothering." I drank some water from a skin she had carried. "Though I rather doubt we'll find proper beds there. I imagine the village will be filled with people fleeing the darkspawn."

"But if things continue there will be nowhere left to run, Warden." She said and I sighed.

"I know. The last time a Blight went unchecked the people of Ferelden were almost annihilated. I can't imagine what Loghain must have been thinking to abandon his King when the combined armies might have stopped this."

"Perhaps he thought that the darkspawn threat was not as dire as the Grey Wardens have warned. Maybe he thinks he can outmaneuver the darkspawn threat altogether." She pondered.

"Men and darkspawn are not the same. Men's courage fail but these creatures are driven by something more powerful than we have seen in centuries! He is a fool to think that he can defeat them on his own, without the help of the Wardens."

"Be that as it may, perhaps he thinks that if he defeats the darkspawn without the help of the Wardens, he can banish them from Ferelden for all time?" she said and I turned back to her.

"Banish the Wardens? Do you really think he would be so stupid?"

"Perhaps his last great victory still remains locked in his mind, when he defeated the Orlesians at the River Dane. That battle could have gone either way and he did what no man had hoped to."

"Well he was adamant that the King not involve the Orlesians in the fight against the darkspawn. I suppose he felt that to do so would allow Orlais to attack us when we were most vulnerable but it still does not give him leave to put all of Thedas in this situation, all for his hatred of Orlais." I told her and walked away, needing time to think.

I had grabbed my ironbark sticks as I checked on my horse and walked farther away from camp. I needed something to keep my mind off the conversation I had had with Morrigan, and to try to forget the dreams that followed my nightmare.

I began with slow extensions, making sure that my muscles were warmed up before I began so as not to damage myself. I closed my eyes and I imagined the tower at Ostagar and I was once again surrounded by darkspawn. In my mind I replayed it all as I was attacked and defended myself, thankfully not reliving the injuries that I received as well. I did this hoping I could get the images of Duncan out of my head, and suddenly I was there once again, walking the field amongst countless dead. I was completely unarmed and no longer in my armor, but was dressed in a long white gown, feet bare, with my hair loose, long and unchanged as it had been before we reached Ostagar. I carefully made my way among the men and followed a light that I could see off in the distance, drawing me further amongst the bodies that were scattered everywhere. I knew that these were the men that Loghain had abandoned and were left here to rot until they could be properly sent to the Maker. I continued forward but before I could reach it, I heard a voice begging me not to continue. I turned to see Duncan standing behind me, unharmed as when I had seen him last. I was filled with joy that he was alive but he continued to look at me so sadly and again he begged me not to continue towards the light. His words sounded far away and echoed strangely in my ears. I saw myself frown and turned away from him, now desperately needing to see what he was keeping me from. As I reached it I heard his voice so close that I turned and reached out to him but his hand only passed through mine.

"Forgive me…" he said as I looked at my hand, still cool from his.

I turned to what he did not want me to see only to find I was standing above his lifeless body. I fell to my knees and tried to gather him in my arms but I could not touch him. I was also immaterial and had no way to touch him.

I jerked back and fell hard to my knees, crying out silently, not knowing that I was being watched. I bent forward and pressed my face against the cold hard ground, finally lying curled up on my side and allowing myself to feel the pain of losing Duncan once again. My body shook and my heart gave a tremendous squeeze but still I could not cry. I felt that all my tears had dried up and as my breathing calmed down, I felt my heart grow still. I uncurled my legs, looking up at the sky, motionless.

I stayed on the ground for some time before my mabari found me. The sky had become brighter and I knew I would need to return to camp but still I remained as I was and did not move him away as he began to lick my cheek, worried. Slowly I turned my head towards him and scratched behind his ears. I could still hear Duncan's voice in my head and felt somehow that he wanted to spare me that last look. I only hoped that once this was over he and every man that was left at Ostagar would one day receive the funeral they deserved and could find peace. I vowed that if we defeated this threat, I would ask the new King to see that they were honored as heroes.


	27. Chapter 27

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We reached the outskirts of Lothering late in the afternoon. Outside of the village the road was packed with overturned carts and debris. From the look of it, someone had gone through great lengths to block the way into Lothering and it seemed they were determined to rob anyone who tried to pass.

Before we had gotten close enough to fully assess the threat, I stopped and dismounted. I had been riding with Morrigan, as Alistair had decided he would walk instead. Since we were both wearing armor, I had Morrigan stay on the horse and gave her my cloak to cover up completely, hoping that we would come across as her guards instead. While Alistair did not whole heartedly agree with letting Morrigan play the part of a helpless noble woman, neither of us had anything other than armor to convince anyone otherwise. So we walked slowly towards the barricade, wondering what to expect when a group of armored men appeared from behind one of the overturned carts. They varied in height and size, dressed in mismatched armor and carried weapons in desperate need of repair. They eyed the weapons that Alistair and I carried, especially the silverite daggers I had. One of the bigger men circled Morrigan on the horse, trying to look into the packs as the leader explained that we were expected to pay a toll to get into Lothering. I could hear Morrigan hiss at the man as he was eyeing her too intently.

"Let us pass if you know what's good for you," she said, much to my dismay. I was hoping to get passed them without drawing attention to ourselves and perhaps convince them to defend Lothering if need be.

"Doesn't matter to us who you are. You pay the toll or you don't get in, same as all the rest. Try to get past us and we'll just take everything you have off of your dead bodies. Your choice."

"Are you sure you want to pick a fight with us? We are not helpless refugees." I walked forward and let him see that I had my hands on the hilts of my daggers, ready to be drawn at a moment's notice.

"What can the two of you do against all of us?"

"The three of us can guarantee you do not harm anyone else coming into Lothering." I growled.

"You expect your noble woman to defend herself?" the bandit leader chuckled and the rest of the men laughed as well.  
>"Oh I need no one to defend me." Morrigan cut in, dismounting and drew out the staff that she had hidden under the cloak. I saw as his eyes grew wider, seeing now that Morrigan was in fact a mage and he gave some small gesture for the rest of the men to attack.<p>

The men may have intimated many by their numbers but they were not trained to properly wield weapons and were no match against us. I turned briefly to see how Morrigan was fairing and saw that she was casting various spells to defend herself. I found myself standing with my back to Alistair as we fought. Once most of the bandits had fallen, the leader turned and tried to flee back into Lothering. I grabbed a small throwing dagger and hurled it at his fleeing back. Alistair turned and looked at his body and then back at me. I shrugged as Morrigan laughed.

"Well I'm glad that your aim has not suffered from you injuries, Warden."

We turned as a group of Templars approached us cautiously, looking at the men who were now dead. I stepped in front of Morrigan as most of them turned and walked back into Lothering. The remaining Templar advised us that Lothering was not a safe place to be due to the advancing darkspawn that were spotted coming out of Ostagar.

"Let's just get what we need and not stay here any longer than we need to." Alistair said as the Templar left us. I was thankful he had not seen the staff that Morrigan carried or perhaps he chose to ignore it.

"Yes, let's. The further we get from here the better. I suppose the Templars are the only form of law left here. Perhaps it's best if we present you as a fellow Warden, Morrigan. This way they cannot take you to the Circle Tower."

Both Alistair and Morrigan started at once.

"What?"  
>"Is that really necessary?"<p>

"I believe it is. Alistair is right about one thing, Morrigan. Outside of the tower you are an apostate and the Templars will try to arrest you. At least as a "Warden" they have no choice but to allow you continue with us." I said and glared at Alistair. "I gave my word Flemeth that no harm would come to you. Nor will I not allow the Templars to take you either."

"If you feel it is necessary, then do as you must. Had they tried to

take me…"

"I would have stood and fought to keep you, Morrigan." I put in and walked to the fallen bandit leader to retrieve the knife I threw, leaving her stunned and Alistair sullen again. I glanced at the items that the bandits had gathered spotted a shield with the crest of Redcliff and walked back with it to show Alistair. "If we're lucky there are still some of the Arl's men here in Lothering." I said and he nodded. I gathered the reins of my horse and we walked slowly into Lothering when I spotted the body of a fallen Knight. I walked over and discovered it was most likely the owner of the shield and laid it with his body.

We made our way carefully past the countless tents that had appeared on what was once farmland and was now filled completely with refugees. Every face I saw I could not help but see the terror on the faces of these people. I did not want to chance going into the Chantry with Morrigan so we continued to the farthest part of Lothering and decided to venture into the tavern to try to overhear any news. I tied my horse to a post, leaving my mabari to keep unwanted thieves away from what little belongs I had and we went inside, separating and taking different side of the tavern. I was walking ahead, listening to various people when I turned and looked to Alistair who had walked towards the other side of the room. His face was ashen and I slowly made my way over to him.

"Well it's official." I said when I reached him. "Loghain has blamed the King's death upon the Wardens." I told him as I walked up to him and Morrigan. She had managed to get a table in the back and ordered a few pints while we made our way around the room. As I sat down I noticed a Chantry sister slowly made her way towards us but sat at a different table. She stood out since she was the only sister in the tavern.

"One of the men said that Highever was attacked by a large group of bandits. He said that the Teryn and his family are all dead and that the Teryn's heir was lost at Ostagar. Arl Howe has claimed Highever back into Amaranthine." Alistair said and I knocked over my pint. "You came in with Duncan from Highever. Is that what really happened?" he asked as I was trying to keep the ale from spilling on me.

"No. Arl Howe attacked the Cousland's when the Teryn's son left with the majority of the men. He tried to use the confusion of the darkspawn to hide the fact that he was the one who attacked Highever." I said quietly, looking at the table. "Duncan found me and saved me from Howe's men. They were slaughtering everyone in the village and in the castle. We had hoped to reach it but a fire broke out and we were forced to flee."

"When I overheard the guards speak about Duncan pending marriage, I thought she would have been from Highever. I thought I would have the unfortunate task of informing her of Duncan's passing at Ostagar but now I'm not sure where to look." Alistair said as I ordered new ale.

"From what I understand, Duncan traveled to many villages before reaching Highever. She could be from any one of those." I said and turned as men approached our table, pulling an old man and pushing him down by our table. I could only imagine that he was the tavern owner. I noticed that they wore the crest of Teryn Loghain.

"Well look what we have here. Now I believe I asked you if there were strangers here in Lothering and now I find them here in your tavern. Would you care to explain?" said one of the men, kicking the tavern owner and he cried out in pain. I saw that the sister had jumped as he had cried out.

"Well now, seems we've become rather popular." Morrigan muttered.

"There's only supposed to be two Wardens, Commander. The other one doesn't matter." Said one of the men.

"No she doesn't but she'll come with us just the same." He said, drawing his sword. "These people are traitors to Ferelden! They murdered King Cailan. Now if any of you interfere you will receive the same fate." He proclaimed loudly for the entire tavern to hear. "Now, hand over your weapons."

"I'd like to see you try to take them from me." I said and the leader smirked.

"Gladly."

I kicked a chair at him as he drew his weapon and he fell back heavily into one of the tables. Alistair grabbed the tavern owner and moved him out of the immediate area before drawing his broad sword. I got up and moved towards the Teryn's men who were closest to me, kicking one as hard as I could in the stomach while drawing my swords and running the other through. The man I kicked recovered and I ducked as his sword swept the air above my head. I felt a charge of electricity and saw his face tense as he fell.

I turned to Alistair, who had three men charging him at once and saw that he was managing them by using his sword and shield but would soon be overwhelmed. I threw a knife at the one closest to me. It sunk deep in his side and as he turned to me, Morrigan held out her staff and once again the air was electrified. I circled the other man who was attacking Alistair and kicked his legs out from under him and quickly stabbed him as Alistair bashed the other with his shield.

I then turned to the Commander who was getting up groggily from the floor where he fell. I kicked his sword away from him and pointed mine at his chest.

"Now then, I think you need to inform these people who is really responsible for the King's death."

"Teryn Loghain…"

"Was a coward and a fool who left his King to die at the hands of the darkspawn. Now tell them what really happened at Ostagar." I commanded him and he stubbornly remained silent. I put a little bit of pressure on my blade to show him that I would just as easily kill him for his silence.

As I waited the man that Alistair bashed got to his feet holding his ribs and called out. "What the Warden says is true! Loghain ordered us to retreat when the beacon was lit to join the King on the battlefield." He yelled out. "I'm sorry, Commander, but I will not live with this lie any longer."

"I will see you hang." He threatened and I turned to the other man.

"I want you to deliver a message to Loghain."

"A message?" he asked.

"Tell him the Grey Wardens know what really happened. And soon so will all of Ferelden." I said and looked down at the commander. "Now go. You will have a long and lonely trip back to Denerim."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the Chantry sister helping the tavern owner walk closer to where we stood.

"What about him?" he asked.

"I believe I saw some cages outside of Lothering. I think he should suffer the same fate as the men he left to die at Ostagar. When the darkspawn reach Lothering they will find he will be the only person remaining." I said wanting to see the look of horror on his face.

"I think perhaps that is a bit harsh, even for someone like him." Said the sister and I turned to look at her. I took in her lilting accent and

knew she was Orlesian.

"Perhaps, but it is a fate which he deserves. And what would you have me do? There doesn't seem to be any form of enforcement left here in Lothering."

"There are still Templars at the Chantry. They can hold him until the Arl sends his men back to the village." The sister said and the tavern owner scoffed.

"The Arl has forgotten about us. I agree with the Warden but I suppose it would just be easier to hand him over to the Templars." He said and I looked at both Alistair and Morrigan. I could see that the decision was being left entirely up to me.

"Fine. Give him to the Templars." I moved away from the commander and allowed him to stand up. As I turned away from him I did not see that he had a hidden dagger and despite his injuries, was still attempting to attack me. I ducked away from his wild swing and saw the look of disbelief on his face when a knife had suddenly appeared stuck in his throat. I turned and saw that both Alistair and Morrigan were looking at the sister, who was now kneeling by the man I had thrown my knife at earlier. She had taken the knife and thrown it at the commander before he could strike me. I looked at her as she got up and adjusted her Chantry robe.

I turned to the tavern owner and apologized for the damages, hoping there was some way to repay him. He shook his head and said that the Teryn's men had been terrorizing the villagers and that anything they had would cover the damage. I looked at their armor and weapons and hoped they would be put to good use. I asked if there was anywhere to trade for a few items and the sister said she would take us to a merchant by the Chantry.

We had followed her outside the tavern when I took a closer look at the cages on the outskirts of the village. I saw that everywhere in the village, it was closely packed with refugees but for some reason no one had set up tents near the cages. I shielded my eyes and noticed that one of the cages was occupied. Instead of following the sister to the Chantry, I walked over to the caged man instead.

"Why is a qunari caged here in Lothering?" I asked the sister.

"The Templars brought him in for killing a nearby farmer and his family. I'm told he came peacefully. The villagers are afraid of him and refuse to set up tents near him." She said, catching up to me.

I walked up to him and saw that he was tall and fearsome, with the look of a true warrior. He stood there meditating with his eyes closed as I approached the bars to his cage. Alistair put his hand on my arm to stop me but I stepped up as close as I could to show him that I did not fear him.

"You are not one of my captors," he said with his eyes still closed. "I am not here to amuse you. Leave me in peace."

"I was only wondering why a qunari would allow himself to be caged. Surely this cage does not truly hold you?"

"What does that matter? I was placed here by the Chantry. Now leave me be. I will die here soon enough." He said.

"May I ask what you are called then?" I asked and he finally opened his eyes. He looked at us and could see that I was not going to leave him alone.

"I am Sten of the Beresaad."

"Beresaad? The vanguard, here in Ferelden? Then you are a true warrior and should not be left here to die at the hands of the darkspawn."

"You know of my people?"

"A little." I admitted. "I know that Sten is not a name but in fact a rank. I know that if you are here, you were most likely send by the Arishok." I crossed my arm across my chest and gave him a small bow. "And I am Katriel of the Grey Wardens. I am pleased to meet you, qunari."

"A Grey Warden?" he asked, looking at me with doubt in his eyes. "My people have heard legends of the Grey Wardens. The Arishok has heard rumors of this Blight and so we came to your lands to investigate."

"So there are more of you here in Ferelden?" I asked.

"No."

"Have you found the answers you seek about the Blight, qunari?"

"In part but it hardly matters now. I cannot return." He said and leaned back, again closing his eyes.

"Then I offer you this, qunari. A way to find the answer you were sent to seek, if you are willing to join me."

"Join you? And why would you do that?" he asked in disbelief.

"As you've most likely heard, there are too few of us left in Ferelden and I could use skilled warriors to help us in our fight against the darkspawn. So that is my offer. Join me or remain here. We are not far from Ostagar and they will surely be here in a matter of days."

I could see that he was considering my offer as his eyes traveled to the Chantry sister who had followed us to his cage. "It is unlikely that they will release me but if you can convince them, I will follow you."

"Then I will speak to the Revered Mother at once." I said and walked away towards the Chantry.

"Surely you do not think they will release him to us." Alistair said, catching up to me.

"There's no reason why they should not. The Templars cannot keep the peace here for much longer and there is little enough space to contain the refugees that are coming into Lothering every hour. With him gone they can set up more tents and we could use another skilled warrior, Alistair." I said and turned to the sister once more. "Can you take me to speak to the Revered Mother?"

"If that is what you wish. Please, follow me."

"I'm going with you. Being an ex-Templar could be of some use at times." Alistair added and I looked at him, trying to make light of the situation as usual. I stopped and place my hand on his arm.

"I don't think you're useless, Alistair but what we're doing is more than we can handle alone. We're going to need all the help we can get. I need your support above all but we cannot hope to do this all ourselves."

"You're right. Forgive me. I forget that I can be a child sometimes."

"Only just a little, Alistair. Now let's see about freeing the qunari and continuing on to see the Arl." I laughed as Morrigan rolled her eyes at him.

When walked back towards the Chantry and I left Morrigan to trade for the few supplies we would need while we had an audience with the Revered Mother. She seemed surprised to see the sister as we asked about the captive qunari. It took some convincing from Alistair and myself (as well as a hefty donation) before she agreed to release him to us. She gave the key to the sister and bid her a formal farewell, which I found odd but did not question.

Before we left the Chantry, Alistair knelt in front of the statue of Andraste and said a silent prayer while I wandered away to light a candle, in memory of my family and Duncan. I bowed my head and said my own prayer for my brother, hoping he was still alive. We rejoined Morrigan and returned to the cages once again to free the qunari.

As we approached, I took the key from the sister and went to open the door myself, looking at the large qunari as I stepped away from the now open doorway. I looked him fully in the face as he stepped out, showing him that I did not fear him even though he was taller and broader than I was. He stood and looked at us and nodded his head at me.

"I will follow you." Was all he said and I smiled at him.

"This is Alistair, also a fellow Warden. And this is Morrigan, our reluctant mage." I said as introduction and looked at the sister still standing with us. "I did not catch your name, sister."

"My name is Leliana. I'm pleased to meet you all. May I speak with you in private, Warden?" she asked and I looked at Alistair, who shrugged.

"I do not have much time to give you, sister. It's best if we leave as soon as possible. I fear that my actions will have repercussions for the tavern keeper." I said as we moved away from the cages. She walked besides me back towards the tavern where I had left my horse, leaving the others to make their way slowly away from the cages.

"I simply wished to ask that you allow me to come with you on your journey." she said and I stopped to look at her once again.

"No, Sister Leliana, I cannot allow that. We have an impossible task ahead of us, one that requires swords, not prayers. I thank you for your help but I cannot take you away from those who need you here. Walking this town, seeing the faces of all the people who have lost their homes… They need you here, to give them hope in this dark time." I said, bowing my head at her and continued on towards the tavern.

"And you said yourself that you can use all the help you can use. I am an able fighter and can help you on your journey in many ways. It was the Maker who told me I would meet you here today, telling me that my time here was at an end and I was to go with you to fight."

"Then the Maker was mistaken. These people will need to leave Lothering soon before it is overrun with darkspawn. Can you leave them to fend for themselves when so many have forgotten them?" I asked.

"Without someone to fight against the darkspawn, many more will die. There is no denying that these people stand little chance of surviving the Blight without those who are not willing to sacrifice themselves. I am no Grey Warden but I am willing to join you to help fight nonetheless." She said.

"I vote that she join us, if it is her wish to do so."

I had not noticed that Alistair had followed us back to the tavern and that he had overheard our discussion. I stopped and looked at him. There was so much that he had left in my hands, leading when he should as the senior Grey Warden, making the decisions on what our best course of action should be that I was surprised that he was taking a stand on this one thing. I could see that he would not be swayed but tried to convince him to reconsider.

"We barely have enough to travel ourselves and now you want to bring a Chantry sister along with us? Are you sure, Alistair?" I asked him but she answered instead.

"I have horses ready at the Chantry and a few supplies I have already gathered for the journey. I have gathered armor and a few weapons. I can hunt so you do not need to worry about an extra mouth to feed." She listed and I was having a harder time finding reasons to make her stay. "And I can cook."

I saw the decision was made in Alistair's face on that last bit of information. I knew I had lost the discussion and her face lit up as she realized that I was finally relenting. I allowed her time to retrieve her belongs from the Chantry while I got my own horse. I turned to him and he had a smug look on his face.

"She's your responsibility, Alistair. Remember that." I said and mounted my own horse and rode towards the others who were waiting on the other side of the village, with my mabari following. I knew that I would need to explain the addition to our group before she arrived.

It seemed that Morrigan took it upon herself to question Sten about his people, to which he was ignoring her to the best of his ability. I could see she was frustrated when I rode up without Alistair.

"Ah! Am I blind or are we leaving the useless Templar?" she asked and I knew that whatever truce they had would soon end.

"No, Morrigan. Alistair will be along soon. Only we have someone else joining us on our journey. I could not dissuade her and Alistair insisted she come with us." I said as they were riding to us with another horse following behind them.

"Perhaps that puppet of Loghain's hit you after all. Are you saying we are now taking the Chantry sister along with us? Will she even be of any use?" Morrigan started to rant but I quickly cut her off.

"She has proven that she can handle a blade, Morrigan and she is willing to help us. I cannot turn her away simply because she is from the Chantry." I told her. "And besides, she will keep Alistair company and away from you. So how is that all bad?"

"Point taken." She said as they rode up.

I turned and was surprised that the unassuming sister was now wearing armor and had a bow and quiver slung across her back. I almost did not recognize her.

"Dear Maker!" I said to myself. _The sister has gone rogue._


	28. Journey to Redcliffe

**_I have been away far too long from this story! I hope you like the new chapter. I know I had fun writing it. As always this story follows the DA:O storyline but with my own little twists. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. Please read and rate. All comments are welcome. Thank you!_**

-)(-

I was grateful that Leliana had brought the extra horse, so now we all did not need to walk as much. I could hear Sten's low muttering about how small the Ferelden horses were compared to the ones he was used to in Seheron. I rode with Morrigan again, leaving Alistair to ride with Leliana. I couldn't help but silently laugh at his awkwardness in sitting behind her but until we managed to get a few more horses, we would need to ride with others. I watched as he tried to figure out where to put his hands but like me, she gave him no choice.

We briefly stopped a few hours after we left Lothering and Leliana shared some of the food she carried in her pack. I had hoped we could have traded for more food but that was the one thing they were in desperate need of and could not trade. I would be glad when we reached the far shores of Lake Calenhad and could easily try our luck at catching fish. I could see that Sten was looking at the country side yet at the same time, his gaze went farther than the surrounding area where we were. I knew that sooner or later I would need to address what had occurred that called for him to be caged as an animal.

"It seems your fellow Warden and the Chantry sister are quickly becoming quite close," Morrigan observed after we had continued riding west away from Lothering.

I had only occasionally glanced at the two. What had caught my attention was how quickly her eyes traveled to the slightest movement of our surroundings. She was aware of everything around us as she continued to ask Alistair question upon question, and I dare admit that by now she most likely knew more about him that I did. I watched as she skillfully tracked a hare as she rode and used her bow without stopping and I could tell that Alistair had been impressed as she dismounted to retrieve the animal for later. I could not help myself from doing the same, spotting a hare close to where she had taken down hers and only using one of the smaller daggers I carried.

"It appears that they have. Only I don't exactly see that as a problem."

"Truly?" she asked. "I had assumed…"

"Alistair and I are still newly acquainted, Morrigan. Before Ostagar I never had cause to know of a Templar-turned-Warden. Had the circumstances which cause me to seek out King Cailan been different, I probably would have never known him." I told her, hoping she did not ask what the caused me to go to Ostagar. It was something I still could not speak of without feeling an ache in my heart.

"Circumstances, be what they may, has she even told you her true purpose in following you? Your task as a Warden is an arduous one, something that even prayer cannot be of much help for you." I knew that what she said was true and I had been arguing with myself since Leliana expressed she wanted to help. I still had my own misgivings about giving into Alistair's wish to accept her, but seeing as I had accepted Morrigan and Sten I could not in good conscience deny him.

"Her reasoning's are her own," was all I would say, looking over my shoulder at her. "And what exactly are yours? What exactly made you decide to follow us? Do not think that I believe you came out of love for king and country, Morrigan. You could have just as easily left us on the path to Lothering and returned to your mother. You could have both have easily hidden in the Wilds with the use your magic and with your mother's ability to transform, you could have easily outrun the darkspawn. Alistair and I continue because it is our duty as Wardens. Yours, I'm not so sure of."

"I can just as easily say that I have a duty to my mother to see this through."

"Somehow you do not seem the type that can be forced to do something you do not want to." I pointed out.

"If I am so useless to you then perhaps I shall return, if you are too stubborn to accept my help for what it is," she said angrily.

"Your magic is useful, Morrigan. But there is much left to do and I need to know I can trust you. Will you continue with us to the end?" I asked her seriously.

"I will see you to your tasks completion, Warden, do not worry. Anything past that, I cannot say," she said cryptically. Once again she looked at Alistair and Leliana. "Even I can see that she is quite beautiful."

Again I looked at her over my shoulder briefly before answering. I knew she was only trying to provoke a response from me and I was uncertain what her goal was so I tried for one myself. "I didn't take you for a lover of women, Morrigan."

I had spent time covertly watching the wilder witch, taking in her scandalous outfit, her sultry voice, her eyes that held such promises, to the deliberate swaying of her hips. No, this was a woman who knew she could have any man she desired, yet when I saw her I envisioned a creature that would swiftly devour its mate.

_Come to think of it, maybe that is also what Alistair saw_, I thought.

"Do not misunderstand me, Warden," she sputtered. "I am simply stating that perhaps he will fancy her."

I laughed quietly to myself. I knew exactly what she was implying and now knew exactly how I could discourage the topic. "Pity," I said to her over my shoulder. "And here I was enjoying the way you walk too. I thought that was for my benefit." I said and finally laughed at her expression. "Have no worries, Morrigan. I have no immediate need for bedmates just yet."

-)(-

We made camp later that evening. I had hoped to make better time now that we had the extra horses but with the growing numbers to our group, I finally decided at that it was best to be cautious and rest for the night. Alistair looked extremely gratefully to be off the horse and I could not help but laugh at his discomfort. I went off to replenish our water while he gathered wood. Using the small knife I had used earlier to make my own kill, Leliana set upon cleaning and preparing the hares. Sten had helped with the horses, walking them to get their fill of water and tied them so they could also reach some of the grass on the embankment.

When I returned to camp I found Morrigan gone but her pack and staff were on the ground near where Alistair had deposited the wood to start a fire so I knew she was nearby. I knelt beside Alistair as he took flint and steel from his pack and was trying unsuccessfully to get the fire started. It sprang to life suddenly and I pulled him back from the flames before it could burn him. I looked up to see Morrigan still had her hand outstretched towards the fire, with a smirk on her face.

"As usual, Alistair, you are quite useless," she said as he glared at her.

"Not all of us here have magic we can just throw around, Morrigan," he threw back and yelped when I grabbed his fingers, seeing that he had been slightly singed by the flames and he flinched. "You did that on purpose!"

"Do not blame me for your poor reflexes," she chuckled and knelt before the fire to warm her hands.

"Let's get some water to calm this, Alistair. I'm pretty sure I have something in my pack to help with the burn." I said and got up. I glared at Morrigan as I helped him up and walked with him to the nearby stream. Thankfully the water was cool and helped to relieve the pain. I found some salve in my pack and applied a small amount to his hand. I also tore a piece of scrap linen I had to use as a make shift bandage. I was so set on my task of nursing his hand that I failed to notice he had stopped flinching and was looking away from me, turning his usual shade of red.

"And what have you learned from our newest recruit, Alistair?" I asked as I packed the salve carefully back into my pack.

"There's something I feel she is not entirely telling me but she claims the Maker gave her a vision to join us," he said, clearing his throat. "If you ask me, she seemed more interested in asking questions about all of us than about sharing information about herself."

"Do you think she is sincere? If it the tavern owner had not seemed so familiar with her presence I would have doubted she was even a lay sister. I still have my doubts, Alistair, but you seemed so sincere in wanting her to join us. That she is a skilled fighter is obvious to anyone here but her intentions are not," I told him, turning to return to camp but he put his hand on my arm to stop me.

"I saw you arguing with Morrigan earlier as we rode. Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No at all. She was merely pointing out that you two were becoming close. I told her you were merely asking Leliana why she joined us instead of staying with the people of Lothering and not trying to weasel your way into sharing her bedroll." I joked, to which he again turned red.

"I would never…"

"I know Alistair," I laughed. "You're too honorable for your own good sometimes." I said and turned to leave once again. I stopped short as I almost walked into the large figure of Sten.

"I wish to speak to you in private, Warden," he said, looking at both of us.

"Alistair and I are both Wardens, Sten. If there is something on your mind, you can share it with the both of us."

"Very well," he said. "I merely wonder why you travel with a mage. Are mages not kept inside towers?"

I glanced at Alistair before answering. "Most mages are."

"Is she then not considered an apostate?" he continued.

"By some," I said. "What concerns you, Sten?"

"Mages are dangerous," he stated heatedly. "That you allow one to follow you…"

"Alistair, I believe I need to speak to Sten alone now," I interrupted. Alistair looked at me, wanting to say something but returned to camp as I had asked. "Morrigan has proven useful thus far and you do not understand the circumstances in which she has been promised to aid us in this. I would no sooner refuse help from any who wish to stop the Blight, qunari. This is _our_ home and all are needed to help defend it. You are not of Ferelden and are only here to satisfy the curiosity of your leader." I said and crossed my arms across my chest. "I have heard of the way your people treat mages but we do not all follow the Qun, Sten. I will do all that I can to respect your beliefs but it you cannot fight alongside her then I suggest we go our separate ways here and now."

"In coming here…" he started but instead shook his head. "Know that I can no longer return to my people as I am now, an unclean thing. I will stay until I have discovered exactly what this Blight is that you fight, and to earn redemption for what I have done, as well."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Sten. A warrior of your caliber is always welcome in times such as these," I said and put my hand on his arm. "Know that if there is something you wish to speak of, I am always available to you." He nodded once and walked away from me.

I leaned my head back and rolled it from side to side to release the stress I was feeling.


	29. Chapter 29

_**This story follows some of BioWare's DA:O story line and some game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. Please read and leave a review. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

-)(-

The next morning I was only mildly surprised that Morrigan had chosen to ride with Leliana, leaving Alistair looking at me rather uncomfortably. I suppose it could have been worse, she could have chosen with Alistair and I would have spent the entire ride thinking of creative ways to separate them both. I could only imagine that perhaps in my asking him to leave me to speak with Sten alone may have caused him to think I did not see him quite as an equal. I sighed at the thought of having to now apologize. I stayed quiet as I waited until he was safely mounted on the horse behind me, less awkward than the first time we rode together and I hoped that we could continue in a comfortable silence as we had before.

I struggled with the words I needed to apologize, instead turned my attention to stay as close to Morrigan and Leliana, hoping to listen in on any discussion they might be having. I was almost relieved to see that whatever Leliana had said, it had shut Morrigan up and she glared at me and Alistair as I took the lead. Leliana was humming to herself and Morrigan seemed to look at Alistair rather enviously and I softly laughed at her annoyance.

"Is it me or she looking at me weird?" Alistair asked.

"And how would that be different from all her other looks that she gives you?" I teased.

"Clever. No, she always glares my way but this just seems _different_ somehow," he said.

"I don't know, maybe she's starting to like you, Alistair. That Templar charm, the quick wit, the dashing hero bit…that just might be her type after all!" I laughed.

"You think I'm dashing?" he asked and I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. The look he gave me reminded me of how innocent he really was and I knew I would have to choose my words around him more carefully.

"No longer concerned that she might be falling for you? The offer still stands you know…just say the word and we'll make ourselves scarce!" I laughed, avoiding his question.

"Don't even think about it! You might come back and find she's added me to the evening stew," he said.

"Still worried she'll turn you into a frog, Alistair?" I asked, recalling the whispered conversation between him and Daveth that I mostly ignored when Morrigan first crossed our path.

"Err…it was a toad actually," he said, embarrassed that I had indeed overheard them.

"Hmmm, you know I hear the Orlesians rather enjoy eating those. Or was it frog? Regardless, I've heard they're considered a delicacy," I said lightly.

"You're joking," he said and I could tell he was disgusted by the idea. "I can never tell when you're joking or not."

"Remind me to ask Leliana later on tonight when we camp. I'm sure she'll know a recipe or two. I bet you wouldn't even notice what it was unless we told you," I said, having a hard time not laughing out loud.

"Let me down right now or I'm going to be sick all over your armor!" he said and I called for the rest to halt while he dismounted and moved quickly into the trees. I sat atop my horse, silently laughing at his retreating form and waited for him to return. Morrigan looked at me and I smiled sweetly at her.

"Is Alistair alright?" Leliana asked.

"I think something he ate didn't agree with him. Don't worry, he'll be fine. Go on ahead and we'll catch up," I said and watched him coming out of the trees, wiping his chin. I reached into my pack and took out a clean piece of cloth, handing it to him so he could properly wipe his face. He also took of sip of water and spat it out, glaring at me when I gave him my hand to help him back on the horse.

"You did that on purpose," he accused me, now seeing that my cheeks were flushed from silently laughing at him.

"Now, now, Alistair. I know your cooking skills are rather limited. It's the main reason you asked that we bring Leliana along with us…your eyes fairly lit up when she mentioned she could cook!" I said and grinned back at him.

"There is nothing wrong with my cooking!" he insisted.

"There's nothing wrong with eating a frog but like your cooking, it is an _acquired_ taste," I said and laughed when he looked to be sick once again.

"Not…helping!" he said.

"I've change my mind. You can't be considered the dashing hero if you're going to be sick all the time. I would have thought you had a tougher stomach than that. For shame, Alistair!" I joked. I finally took pity on him and stopped again, turning slightly and grabbing his hand, massaging a point in-between his thumb and index finger, close to but not at the center of his palm. I applied brief pressure, feeling that his hands were rough and slightly calloused from the use of his sword.

"Wait! What are you doing?" he asked as I held his hand a little bit longer, adding a little more pressure before looking at him again. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was blushing.

"Now…how do you feel?" I asked when I released his hand. He looked up at me in surprise and grinned.

"Much better. I don't know what you did there but I don't feel like I'm going to be sick anymore," he said. "Thank you for that."

"You're welcome. It would have been easier with a bit of oil but that should help you. Besides, if you had gotten sick all over my armor you would be responsible for cleaning it for the rest of your life, Alistair!" I said and turned as my mabari trotted back and barked at our delay.

He chuckled as I got the horse moving again. "Where did you learn to do that?" he asked.

"In another life, before Ostagar," was all I would say.


	30. Chapter 30

_**This story follows some of BioWare's DA:O story line and some game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. Please read and leave a review. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

-)(-

When we made camp later than evening I noticed that Alistair kept a close watch at what Leliana added into the stew and shook my head. I laughed as I gathered my iron bark sticks and quietly made my way from camp to work out some of the soreness that I was feeling from riding all day. Once I was comfortably far enough away I lifted my arms up and stretched my muscles, working on loosening them before I began. I recalled some of the exercises I would go through with my master, turning and twisting under his swings, sweeping my leg out at him, of all the times we had spared together. Everything I had practiced returned so clearly and my muscles knew how they should react to any situation, allowing me to move almost fluidly.

I was so intent on what I was doing that I almost did not notice the large Qunari watching me. I had felt his eyes on me but chose to continue, working my way over to him, wondering if he found my workout foolish. I stopped close to him, covered in sweat and feeling better. While some might find solace in other ways, I found that I was most comfortable with a weapon in my hand.

"You surprise me, Warden. I have heard that the fighters of your order are not to be taken lightly and I see now that this is no exaggeration," Sten said when I approached him.

"Then how exactly have I surprised you, Sten?" I asked, wiping my face quickly.

"I must admit that I was doubtful of your claim as a Warden," he said simply.

"Why did you doubt me and yet still choose to follow me?" I asked, trying to keep my face as neutral as possible.

"I could not find the answers I sought by being locked up in that cage in Lothering so I agreed to follow. I saw strength in you, despite the fact that you are a woman. Women are not warriors yet you show remarkable skill."

"Am I being led to believe that because you see me first as a woman, you did not believe I could be a Warden? What place should I aspire to, Sten?" I asked, trying not to be angry. "I cannot change what I am and I do not think I need to prove myself to anyone here."

"I have now seen that you are truly a trained fighter, not someone who has hoisted a sword and called herself such. Your moves are practiced and precise. To have survived the massacre of Ostagar speaks of your abilities. I have now seen your unwillingness to allow your gender weaken you. I apologize," he said and walked away from me, passing Alistair who was following my mabari to me.

"Do I even want to ask what that was about?" he asked.

"I'm not entirely sure if I was just insulted or flattered by Sten," I said, watching as he walked away. "I feel that if I were a man I was just put out on display and not found lacking, Alistair," I said, knowing that my humor would confuse him while making him blush. He looked at me, flushing and I laughed at him as I walked past him back to camp. "Well I suppose it's really not the size of the sword that counts, now is it boy?" I asked, patting my mabari's thick neck and kept walking.

I walked back only long enough to grab my pack to take a quick dip now that we had reached the southern tip of Lake Calenhad. I desperately wanted to wash off the dust from the long ride and the accumulated sweat from my workout and found Morrigan had the same idea. I walked out of the tree and spotted her naked back walking slowly into the water.

"Do you mind if I join you, Morrigan?" I asked her, hoping my comments from the day before did not cause her to question my intentions.

"As long as your dog does not," she said. "Although I suppose he could use a bath as much as any of us."

"He can keep watch of our clothes here if you like," I said as I put my pack down and took out a small bar of soap and a blanket to dry off in. I quickly started unbuckling my armor and removed my boots, needing only to stay in long enough to wash off, so I could try to get some sleep before dinner was completed and we each take our turns at keeping watch. I stripped to my smallclothes and followed her in so I could completely submerge and wet my hair. I made my way back to the shallow part so I could easily lather my hair and wash up. I felt that the water was warmer than usual and looked back at Morrigan who was standing closer to me than before.

"Are you heating the water?" I asked her, watching her let down her dark hair.

"I've never enjoyed a cold bath and it's easy enough to warm the water around me. If it bothers you I shall move away," she said and began to move.

"No the water feels much better this way, Morrigan, thank you for sharing the warmth," I said quickly. "Do you miss your home?" I asked her, trying to think of something to say to her. She thought about what I said as I dunked under the water to rinse the soap out of my hair.

"I suppose I do although in truth I had been thinking of leaving for some time now. Mother knew that I was getting restless and suggested that coming with you would serve a greater purpose than simply satisfying my own desire to wander out of the Wilds," she said after dunking her hair under the water and looking up at me through wet lashes.

"Perhaps traveling with two Grey Wardens who were trying to stop a Blight didn't exactly factor into her reasoning's. You might have been better off on your own but whatever the reason, I'm happy to have you here," I said and she did not comment. I could see that she was not used to people expressing such things as commonplace as friendship but I was willing to help her see that not everyone in Thedas feared mages.

"Let us return before the stew is done and Alistair eats more than his fair share," she said finally and I laughed.

"He's just happy he doesn't have to cook anymore," I smiled as I recalled the first disastrous meals he made. After that Morrigan and I had taken turns, threatening that if he even lifted a utensil to help he would go to bed hungry instead.

"As am I. I may not have lived in any city but no one should have to eat anything that man considers food," she said.

My mabari made a huffing sound in agreement. "See, Morrigan, even Darius agrees with you and he's a dog," I said as she walked back to the wrap herself in her blanket.

"Are you not getting out? The water will quickly chill once I am gone," she said once she was covered and noticed I had not followed her.

"I'm going to try to bathe him," I said, pointing at my mabari. "He'll only make a mess splashing around so I thought it best that I wait till you were done."

"Ah, then I am grateful you waited. I did not chance the cold waters just to end up smelling like a wet mabari," she laughed and walked away to dress before reaching camp.

Darius watched her go and looked back at me. "Come on, you need this more than I do," I said and he ran in towards me, sending water everywhere. I laughed as he jumped around in the water, not coming close enough for me to catch him to lather him with the soap so I stopped trying and decided to wash my small clothes instead. I stayed in until true to her word, the water became too cold to enjoy any longer and I got out, wrapping my blanket around me to dry off in before putting on a clean tunic shirt and trousers.

I now only wanted to throw myself on my bedroll and hopefully sleep a dreamless sleep. If it weren't for the growling of my stomach, I would have even dared to skip dinner but by the time I made it back to camp I realized I was starving. I knew that it would be a little while longer until the stew was done so I went to lie down until the food was done.


	31. Chapter 31

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I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder and I immediately reached for my knife, swiftly reaching out towards the owner of the hand touching me.

"Maker's breath, Kat, it's only me!"

I opened my eyes and saw that I held my blade out and blinked to clear the sleep from my eyes, surprised that it was Alistair who had tried to wake me. I sat up and carefully moved the dagger away from his throat. In all my years of training, it was the one thing that I would never relax on._ Always be aware of your surroundings,_ I can still here my master say.

"I'm so sorry, Alistair," I said, dropping the dagger and closing my fist. "I should have warned you not to try to wake me like that."

He was holding a steaming bowl of stew in one hand and looking at me strangely. I noticed a small amount of blood seeping from a small knick on his neck and reached up to wipe it away, sucking the blood from my finger before taking the bowl from him.

"I knew you must be hungry so I set some aside for you," he said, backing away from me. "I'm sorry if I surprised you."

"Alistair…" I started to say but he got up and walked to the other side of camp. I looked at Morrigan as she sat down beside me, carefully blowing on the stew before taking careful sips of the broth.

"You could have easily killed him," she observed.

"I can't help it, Morrigan. It's instinctual," I said, carefully trying the stew and liking the flavors.

"Whoever you are, Grey Warden, you are no mere rogue," she said, looking at me. "You are well trained, much like the simple Templar is. Yet you do not share any knowledge of yourself to anyone here."

"I wish you would stop calling me that, Morrigan. I have a name," I said, putting the bowl down on my lap. "One that I've shared with everyone here."

"Leliana has been most curious about the two remaining Ferelden Grey Wardens and I honestly could tell her nothing about you," she said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Let her wonder. Right now I'm more concerned with how much longer until we get to Redcliffe and whether or not the Arl is in any shape to give us aid," I took another sip of the warm broth and tapped the spoon against my lips. "I wonder why Eamon was absent from the battle at Ostagar?"

"There was a rumor that he may be gravely ill," she said. I looked at her, eating more of the stew and she rolled her eyes. "Leliana has been talking non-stop since I made the mistake of riding with her this morning."

"Has she told this to Alistair?" I asked. He would become very quiet whenever we spoke of how close we were to reaching Redcliffe and I wondered what he was keeping from me.

"She finally got the chance to when we made camp. She pulled him aside once you came back to camp and promptly fell asleep."

"I can't seem to get more than a few hours before the nightmares start," I said, recalling all the nights I've jolted awake, feeling like I was covered in the darkspawn corruption.

"I still do not understand why we even need this Arl Eamon at all," she said, extending her hand towards the fire and made a small gesture, causing the flames to react. I watched the slight glow she got in her eyes when she used her magic.

"Are you simply so confident in your magic that you feel that we can defeat the darkspawn as we are now or are you simply disagreeing with Alistair's suggestion?" I asked her.

"I would not trust the fool to lead us to water, let allow come up with a viable solution on how we should proceed," she answered. "Have you read the treaties that mother gave to you?"

"Of course I have. But whether they will be enough without the help of Arl Eamon's men is highly doubtful," I told her. "The circle may have lost the mages that fought alongside the King at Ostagar. The Dalish have become so distrustful of humans that they may choose to not honor the treaty and the dwarves have continued to fight the darkspawn since they took over the Deep Roads centuries ago," I sighed. "We desperately need all the help we can get and I just hope we have enough time to reach them in time."

"Even with the massive armies that your King commanded he still lost the battle at Ostagar. What makes you think this will be any different?" she asked.

"Even if Loghain had responded to the beacon, I've wondered if the outcome would be any different. I'd like to believe that all of this could have been avoided. Maybe the people of Ferelden will take the threat of darkspawn more seriously now," I said and looked down at my stew. "Let's hope that it's not too late to save them."

"You still wonder about the people we left in Lothering," she observed. Truthfully I had been thinking about my own family but did not wish to speak about them with her. "You advised the Chantry that they would be wise to evacuate as quickly as possible. That is more than the Bann has done for them."

"If not for this Blight, people would return to their farms and continue with their normal lives. Alistair might have taken his vows as a Templar and I might not have become a Warden," I said and sighed.

"There have always been Blights, and some that have been far worse than our own," she said and got up, brushing small pieces of grass from her skirt. She held out her hand for my now empty bowl and I gave it to her, not realizing that I had finished it already. It was her turn to rinse them and I handed mine over to her gratefully, eyes heavy once more now that I was fed and I laid back down on my bedroll, wanting just a few more hours of sleep until it was my turn to watch over the others.

I could not get the strange look Alistair gave me out of my head and I lifted my head to see if he was up but saw that he too had lain down on his bedroll and had his back to me. Morrigan had left the camp briefly and returned with Leliana. Sten stood off on the perimeter of the camp, focused on the surroundings with Darius at his feet. I could tell that they had come to a silent agreement and was not surprised that they seemed so comfortable in each other's company.

I laid my head back down and hoped for a dreamless sleep, at least for a little while.


	32. Chapter 32

**_This story follows some of BioWare's DA:O story line and some game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!_**

**-)(-**

I woke long before I was to take over the night's watch. My head was so full of the ghosts of people I had lost that my mind refused to give me the peace I so desperately needed. Added to it now was the look on Alistair's face after the incident last night and I was honestly at a loss as to how to properly apologize to him. Certain _training_ suggested all the ways I could distract him, while others called for giving him the truth of whom I truly was and that was not something I could yet do. I spent well over an hour thinking on the matter, knowing that despite the fact that he was a man just like any other, I could not bring myself to…

_**No**__, that I cannot do, _I thought to myself. I recalled commenting to Morrigan about the need of a bedmate and while I found Alistair attractive and refreshing in his own endearing way, I was a long way off from being able to care for someone else again. Duncan had been my first love and I would not have the proper time to mourn him unless we ended the Blight.

_**If**__ we end the Blight, _I corrected myself. The task did not seem so daunting at Ostagar, surrounded by a sea of trained men, all with that one task in mind. And now here it was left to two Wardens, one recruited less than a month, to figure out a way to defeat an enemy that has returned throughout the centuries. I wondered what would become of Ferelden if we failed…better yet: what if Morrigan's mother had not found us in that tower? Would others make it in time to save our kingdom?

Coming to no clear cut solutions, I sat up and stretched, re-sheathing all my weapons and began to repack my roll. We would be moving on at first light and as I was the final watch, I wanted to be ready as soon as everyone was up. The way I saw it, we had at least two more days until we reached Redcliffe village and if the rumors were true, we would need to go to the castle as quickly as possible to see if there was any hope to see Arl Eamon.

As I gathered my things, I thought back to when I was a child visiting Denerim and could vaguely remember Eamon and his younger brother Teagan. I was hopeful that they would not remember the impetuous child who terrorized Anora and played as famous generals with Cailan. Thankfully I had not been back to Denerim in many years and I was quite young when I last visited Redcliffe Castle with my father.

"I didn't expect you for a little while longer," Leliana said quietly, breaking into my thoughts. I looked at her in surprise, as I was expecting Alistair to be on watch at this time of night. "I asked Alistair if I could stand watch instead."

I looked at her and wondered at her explanation. "Having trouble sleeping, Sister?" I asked her, turning back to tie my pack.

"Yes. It's hard thinking of everything that must be accomplished if we are save Ferelden. And what the possible outcome may very well be if we fail."

_Her thoughts mirrored my own_, I thought. I got up slowly with the pack in my hand and I turned to her.

"Perhaps you should reconsider continuing with us then, Sister," I said as I walked past her towards the horses. She reached her hand out to stop me.

"Please remember that I am no longer a Chantry sister, Warden. You may call me Leliana," she said and smiled at me. I looked at her delicate face and wondered about what Alistair said about her, seeing that her eyes indeed seemed haunted by her past.

I nodded and waited for her to remove her hand from my arm. We stood there for a few more seconds and when she realized she had not let me go, she quickly released my arm and looked away. I was surprised by her reaction and as I continued to walk to my horse, I began to wonder a little more about her. When I turned I found her standing behind me and I stopped before running into her.

"Maker's breath, Leliana! I didn't hear you behind me!" I exclaimed and again she smiled.

"Perhaps you were still deep in thought that you did not hear me follow you," she said simply.

I added this bit of what I knew of her abilities and was fairly certain what she was and wondered what brought her to a Chantry in Ferelden. It was clear she could handle both a sword and bow with ease and with what she passes off as natural curiosity, I knew I would need to be cautious of what I revealed around her. _Or perhaps use it to my_ _advantage_, I thought. If anything, my master master's story's taught me that you would never be certain of who your companions are.

"There's only a few hours left until dawn," I said, looking around for a good vantage point to spend the time. "Best get some sleep while you can."

She looked at the warm fire and at the area I had chosen to stand post, finally shrugging her cloak on tighter and making it perfectly clear that she planned on staying by my side.

"I'm used to waking up long before dawn to complete chores," she said and gave a small laugh. "Scrubbing the Chantry floors before breakfast is definitely something I will not be missing!"

I walked away from the others so as not to disturb their sleep with her following, to a spot nearby that was well in shadow but with unobstructed views of the area. I sat on a tree stump that had long fallen and wrapped my cloak around me while she sat on a pile of leaves she gathered, looking up at the stars when she was done.

"The night sky is so different out here than back in Lothering," she commented and I turned to her, waiting for her to explain. "At night I would sneak out into the gardens long after everyone else was in bed and fall asleep while staring up the constellations. I could recall all the tales my mother would share with me as a child," she said and laughed. "The Revered Mother would often find me there in the mornings and send me back to my room before anyone else saw me. On nights she could not sleep she would join me, sitting on a bench."

"It sounds as if that is what you will miss the most," I said quietly.

"The Chantry was so peaceful. I've done many things in my life and I always considered myself to be happy. I never knew that what I was missing was a chance to step back and consider how I will meet the Maker," she said and I was curious to her meaning, knowing she would not explain, as I would not answer truthfully if asked.

"We all meet the Maker, Leliana. There is nothing set of when that will be," I reminded her.

She remained quiet for a while and I thought that would be the discussion. I looked around for a moment before reaching out with my senses, thankfully for another peaceful night and wonder how much longer until we would need to worry about running into the darkspawn. I wondered how she would react, seeing the creatures for the first time.

"Warden…"

"Uh-hmm," I said, breaking out of my thoughts.

"About Alistair…" she began and I sighed. I knew this question would come up and had thought up ways to explain my behavior.

"I don't presume to know how you were raised, Leliana," I said, recalling the story told to me by one of the few female guards at Highever castle. "I was alone most of my life and learned quickly that if you do not sleep lightly you're as likely to have your throat slit or find yourself bound, beaten and taken advantage of. I _swore_ long ago that it would never happen to me."

From the look she gave me before turning away, I knew she was convinced. I was also certain that she would find a way to pass along what I said to Alistair and being how I knew he was, it would change how he saw me yet again. I wasn't certain I wanted him thinking I had grown up as a ruffian who learned to effectively defend herself.

_Well,_ I thought, _what's one more lie?_


	33. Chapter 33

_**This story follows some of BioWare's DA:O story line and some game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own storyline. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

-)(-

I wasn't sure when it had happened but Leliana had fallen asleep, leaning against my knee. I reached down and made sure her cloak was covering her completely and resumed my watch, waiting for dawn to arrive. I was glad to be awake, as the dreams had steadily gotten worse and I wasn't entirely sure if it was a blessing or a curse that I no longer dreamt of Duncan. I held the locket in my hands, feeling the outline yet stopping myself from opening it to look inside. It was all I had left of him and the pain was still too fresh to bear.

I wondered if I had known that things would turn out this way, would I have been so eager to become a Warden. Back then I thought I knew everything there was to know about them but somehow, tales of these tainted dreams had been kept as a closely guarded secret. I looked briefly at Alistair's sleeping form and wondered how long until he could stand the nightmares that still plagued my sleep. I was thankful for the small amount of rest I was able to get and something about my own troubled soul had kept those particular dreams at bay.

I looked down at the sleeping woman and wondered exactly how much of what she had revealed about herself was truth and how much she had fabricated to convince us to bring her along. After Ostagar, I was wary and had mixed feelings about her coming along had Alistair not taken her side and voted for her to join us. I wondered if perhaps there was more to her that he saw that caught his attention and as Morrigan had pointed out, she was rather lovely to look at.

Then again, he had been quick to deny the thought had occurred to him. And judging from his reactions at Ostagar, I somehow felt that Alistair would be at a total loss when it came to women and found it would have been interesting had he been trained as I had. Those months with Zevran had taught me that there was no shame in taking pleasure where one can, as long as you remained focused at the task at hand.

How different he would be if he just learned to…_No, I wouldn't change Alistair for anything, _I thought to myself, which I found was a surprise. Try as I might, I couldn't possibly imagine him any different from the way he was. I shook myself and turned my attention back to the stillness of the early hours, opening my senses and heard the distinct sound of movement in the trees nearby. I reached out and knew it was not the small animal I first thought it to be but something larger and only on two legs. To me, it meant an attack.

I slowly moved Leliana's head off my leg and saw my mabari look up at me. Everyone in camp was still lying peacefully asleep but I knew from the twitch of his ears, he had heard the noise as well and was trying to determine from which direction it was coming from. He looked towards the sound and I faded into the trees, certain that someone thought to take advantage of the group of travelers caught unawares in their bedrolls.

I crept lightly towards the sound until I found him, making his way slowly towards the camp as silently as possible. There he was: a single man carrying a simple sword, unaware that I was onto him. I watched his every movement, how he carried his weapon and carefully placed his feet. I got a glimpse of his face as he passed and I knew then his intentions went beyond simple robbery.

_This man was trained well,_ I thought,_ but not well enough_.

I silently made my way behind him and placed my hand over his mouth to force his head back and to muffle his scream as I cut his throat. I felt the warm blood from the deep cut and he knew there was little he could do to save himself as I took the weapon out of his hand. I slowly lowered his body to the ground, waiting until he stopped twitching to remove my hand. I looked around and was sure my actions had gone unnoticed at camp. I checked his armor and saw that it was old but still well made and wondered if this was one of many sent after us. I began to wonder if he was the first of many that would be sent after us.

I relieved him of any coin he had but knew that he would want nothing else to identify who he was. I cleaned my blade before re-sheathing and made my way back to camp to wait a little longer for the rest to awaken.

No sooner had I sat back down when a thought occurred to me and I decided I would take Alistair aside to speak to him alone about what had happened.

"Is something the matter, Warden?" Leliana asked, raising her head off her arm.

"No, it was nothing more than a small animal," I said. "Perhaps we should lay traps out during the night. It might make catching small game easier."

"If you think that's wise," she yawned. "I suppose we can do that."

"Go back to sleep, Leliana. Morning will be here soon enough and we have a long way to go still," I said and watched her lower her head.

I watched her breath even out again and waited to see if she had truly fallen asleep. I was certain that when I had left her, she was leaning against the stump but when I returned she was in a different position. I had felt someone was watching me as I had dealt with our intruder and until I was certain of her, I felt the need to keep a closer eye on her.


	34. Chapter 34

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

** -)(-**

I wasn't entirely surprised to see that Alistair decided to ride with Leliana. In fact, I encouraged it by staying close to Morrigan's side, recalling she did not enjoy the last time she was stuck riding with her and gave her real no choice in the matter. Not surprisingly she immediately caught onto the fact that Alistair and I had not spoken since last night.

"Had I known it would illicit this sort of reaction, I would have almost slit the Templars throat from the beginning," she commented when we were finally we on our way.

"It wasn't on purpose, Morrigan," I reminded her.

"What a shame then," she said. "I think your fellow Warden will think twice before disturbing your rest from now on at least."

I sighed and tightened my grip on the reigns. "It's done and what Alistair chooses to do is none of my concern," I said and she laughed.

"I think you frighten him," she chuckled.

"I'm not here to coddle him," I said. "Or for that matter, to keep any of you entertained."

"What's amusing is his continued idiocy…" she said and I turned slightly to her. "The man honestly cannot tell the difference between an herb and a flower!"

I laughed and looked forward once more, catching Alistair glancing back at me before turning away and I knew that Leliana had shared with him the story I had spun the night before. I looked forward at the deserted road ahead; thinking of the assassin who failed at his attempt, knowing that once we stopped to rest I could be certain Alistair would approach me in his own awkward way and I could finally relay to him what had occurred.

We rode in silence a while longer and I was left with my thoughts before Morrigan spoke again.

"What will happen if this Arl is no position to support you?" she asked. "What will you do then?"

"We move on to secure the help promised to us from the treaties. But what intrigues me is if the Arl was merely ill, that alone should not have stopped his men from reaching Ostagar. Eamon has a younger brother, who could have led the men to the Keep," I said and looked over my shoulder at her. "Something prevented these men from leaving Redcliffe, Morrigan, and I intend to find out what it was."

"Surely you do not mean to stop and help every village along the way as well," she said irritably.

"If it involved the darkspawn then Alistair and I are obligated to go," I reminded her.

"Not everyone can be saved," she said cryptically.

"No but I can try."

I heard what could only be the faint sound of cart and I slowed down enough to turn back. A horse-drawn cart was following us a ways back. I placed my hand over my eyes and strained to see who was following us. I motioned for the others to continue on and waited to see if they drew any closer. Though I doubted very much another attack would come so soon, I knew that they would not stop until we were dead or put an end to them. I waited with my hand on the hilt of my dagger for the cart to come into view.

"Is that…a dwarf?" Morrigan asked and I nodded that it was.

"It seems those two made it out of Lothering just in time," I said and started out towards them, still on the lookout.

"Hello, Warden!" the older of the two dwarves called out as they approached.

"I see you managed to gather your cargo and make it out of Lothering after all," I replied, allowing the horse to move backward from the cart.

"Yes, I wanted to thank you again for helping me and my son," he said and bowed his head. "And I was wondering if you wouldn't mind that we follow along behind you?"

"Are you sure that's wise?" I asked him, looking at his son. "We are Grey Wardens and where we go there will surely be more darkspawn."

"Frankly I'm not sure where I would feel safe anymore. But you handled those brutes back in Lothering and saved me and my boy," he said and wiped his brow. "I was hoping we could pitch in and be of use to you in some way or another."

"I don't think that would be necessary…"

"I'm sure you can find use for my wares and I have contacts in many of the villages," he cut in and I looked closely at him once again, thinking that his offer sounded more than fair. I shook my head in agreement.

"Mind yourself, is all I ask," I said. "I will not take advantage of your wares. Perhaps we can deal instead, which is only fair."

Morrigan scoffed at my answer as he grinned in agreement.

"Oh yes, that's more than fair, my good Warden!" he said.

"May we at least know your name or do we simply continue to call you dwarf?" Morrigan asked, rudely but not unexpected from her.

"I apologize! Very rude of me not to introduce myself," he said and stood awkwardly, groaning as his knees cracked from sitting so long. "My name is Bodahn Feddic and this is my boy, Sandal. Say hello to the Warden, son."

"Hello!" he responded as asked.

"If I might ask, where are you headed?" he asked as he sat back down.

"Redcliffe, to see the Arl about his army," I said simply, turning my horse as he got his cart going once again.

"I don't think you want to go there, Warden," he said, slowing down once again. "Other merchants have told that Redcliffe is closed off to outsiders and no one knows exactly why. The Arl and his family have not been seen since before the battle at Ostagar and the Bann was last seen riding off to his brother's village and has not been heard from."

I thought of what he said and knew that we needed to cover as much ground today to reach the village tomorrow at the latest.

"If you mean to follow, then you know where to find us. I need to find out what happened to the Arl, one way or another," I said before I sped off towards the others.


	35. Chapter 35

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that are of my own imagination as well as characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

**-)(-**

We covered as much ground as we could, stopping only briefly to eat a quick meal. I informed the others about the two dwarves we saved at Lothering would soon be joining us at Redcliffe. We traveled until it was well and truly dark, having slowed to be cautious but soon simply stopped to rest. I had hoped to see the dwarves reach us before we reached the village but knew that with their cart weighed down with wares, we might not see them until we discovered what the situation was at Redcliffe.

As Leliana put together a quick and simple meal, I spent time brushing down my horse, as I felt as if my body was electrified and keeping busy helped alleviate some of the energy. I was so intent on what I was doing that I did not hear the footsteps approach me cautiously and I was caught speaking reassurances to my horse. I felt a hand on my own that was holding the brush and fairly jumped, letting it go and reaching for a dagger.

"Kat, it's me!" Alistair said, holding the brush out in front of him.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you," I said quickly, putting the weapon back as I turned to him.

"I called your name twice but you seemed to be lost in your thoughts," he said and handed me the brush back.

"I tend to do that when I have too much on my mind," I said as I put the brush back in the pack. I ran my fingers through my horse's mane, waiting for him to continue.

After a few uncomfortable moments he finally ran his fingers roughly through his hair before speaking. "Look, Kat, about last night…"

"Alistair, we don't know each well enough to have had time to share our past," I said as I walked closer to him and put my hand on his arm. "I'm sure by now Leliana told you why I reacted the way I did and there's nothing I can do to change who I am. Where I come from, you had to learn to do whatever it cost to stay alive and often times it meant doing things you regret later."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Kat," he said and looked down at my hand on his arm. "Duncan must have seen something in you which made him feel you were worthy to become a Warden. It's something I see constantly now as we travel," he said and cleared his throat to distract from the fact he was blushing. "We all come from different backgrounds. There's nothing you need to be ashamed of."

"Nevertheless, I apologize for almost slitting your throat. I should have warned you sooner," I said and squeezed his arm. "In time I'm sure we'll find we know a little too much about the other. But for now, we all have our secrets."

I turned to retrieve my ironbark sticks from my saddle and he stopped me again.

"Get some rest, Kat. We've done nothing but push ourselves all day," he said and I turned to him.

"I'm too full of energy, Alistair," I said and moved closer to him. "I won't be able to relax until I work some of it off…unless you have another idea in mind?"

I knew my suggestion would cause him to back up and I laughed, grabbing my weapons and walked away.

**-)(-**

The next morning I found Morrigan had decided to change things between me and Alistair by riding once again with Leliana, smirking at me when I noticed how uncomfortable he looked. I groaned inwardly as I regretted my suggestion to him, doing it mostly because I knew it would make him uncomfortable enough to leave me alone. Sten looked at Alistair disapprovingly as he still needed my help to get up behind me on the horse and I hid my smile at the Qunari as we set out at a brisk pace once again.

I knew Sten had watched each of us and most likely found us lacking when compared to his own people but I was determined that if he was sincere in his offer of help, then I could help him return to his people with a proper explanation of what a Blight truly was. As farfetched as the idea sounded, I wondered at the possibilities of the additional army of Qunari to help fight the darkspawn, alongside the mages, elves and dwarves. An entire human army lost at Ostagar, but perhaps…

I shook my head, knowing the Arishok would be as unmoving to the plight of others as we were not Qunari. I thought bitterly how each race looked down upon the other, making themselves feel vastly superior for one thing or another. It reminded me of how my father made sure that I understood each culture and learn that each is unique from the other. It was something I admired about Cailan, as he knew had been raised as I had.

As the afternoon dragged on, I could feel Alistair fidgeting behind me and it brought me out of my thoughts when he repeated my name and I turned my head slightly to him so he could finally get out what had been bothering him.

"Kat, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," he started.

"What is it, Alistair?"

"I know I've mentioned that I knew Arl Eamon, but not how I knew him," he said and took a breath before continuing. "You see, I was raised by the Arl, after my mother passed, at the castle in Redcliffe."

"I thought you were raised in the Chantry," I recalled. "You said that was why you became a Templar."

"Yes, well…I…" he stammered when I interrupted him.

"Alistair, can this wait?"

"I need to explain…"

"No, Alistair, it must wait," I insisted, pointing at the gates up ahead. "Look!"

We had finally reached the outskirts of Redcliffe and from the outside, could only see that there were still a few out of control fires inside the walls. Up front I could see that Sten was pushing against the gates and hurried to catch up.


	36. Chapter 36

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O game play and_** story line**_, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

**-)(-**

With the help of Sten and Alistair, we were finally able to get one of the heavy village gates open but felt that whatever the reason was they had been sealed, it might be best to keep them closed. We left the horses with food and water in the empty stable and there was little evidence that it had been used recently. I look up at the guard towers and found that where there should have been men stationed, there were none. I looked to the closest buildings and found evidence of battle.

"Dear Maker! What could have happened here? Where are the guards? There was no one in the towers and I haven't seen any patrols," Leliana said, having seen everything I had.

"I think the question should be where is everyone? A village this size should be teeming with people and animals," Morrigan added as we continued past scorched houses. "One should hear the sounds of children about."

We stopped at the decomposing remains of various livestock, their stench overwhelming as we quickly moved on. So far there had been no human bodies and I was hopeful that meant they were hidden yet alive.

"Wardens!" called out Sten, who had approached the bridge ahead of us and as we joined him, he pointed down to the main part of the village. "It appears they have taken refuge inside the Chantry," he said as we spotted a man approach us.

"Hello there!" Alistair called out. "Can you tell us what has happened here?"

"Are there any more of you?" he asked.

"No, just what you see here," Alistair replied and the man visibly deflated.

"Doesn't anyone know what has happened here? We sent word to the King…" he started to say when Morrigan interrupted.

"Your King is dead at the hands of the darkspawn horde," she informed him and Leliana stepped forward when the man started to tremble and took a step back.

"We heard that the Arl had fallen ill and have come to see if we can offer our help," she said soothingly as she approached him. "My name is Leliana. My companions and I travel with these two Grey Wardens. Perhaps we can be of assistance?"

"My name is Tomas," he said as he looked at Leliana. "I can take you to see the Bann. He can tell you more than I can."

He turned and walked back down the path he used to reach us with Leliana at his side. Alistair followed with Sten and my mabari, but I stayed behind when I noticed Morrigan had a peculiar look upon her face.

"Is something bothering you?" I asked her.

"I can sense something strange is happening here," she said as we slowly followed the rest, stopping as we reached the gates that led to the castle. "It's coming from here, Warden. Whatever is plaguing this village, its problem stems from the castle."

"Can you tell what it is?" I asked her.

"It will take me sometime," she said.

"Let me know as soon as you find something out, Morrigan," I said and she nodded.

"Kat, are you coming?" Alistair called out and I turned to them.

"Alistair, you and Leliana go to meet with the Bann," I said as I approached them. "Sten, check the fortifications around town. Whatever is happening, it hasn't spread past the village and it needs to remain that way. If we can contain it here, we will."

"And where will you be, Warden?" Leliana asked.

"Where there is bound to be more than a few people willing to speak to a generous stranger," I said and smiled. "And I could really use a stiff drink."

It was easy to spot the tavern overlooking the rest of the village. I split off from the rest of my companions and continued on my own, all the while removing my cowl and loosening my hair. I walked in and immediately spotted the red headed bar maid, choosing a seat on the right, well away from the few drunken men that were obviously not proper soldiers. _Whatever happened in Redcliffe_, I thought to myself, _caused the Bann to arm ordinary villagers…which is never a good sign._

I looked her over as she passed by and noticed how closely she once might have resembled me. She smiled when she noticed my scrutiny and as she passed by once again, gave me a discrete nod towards the back room where she was headed. I gave the overweight tavern owner a quick glance before getting to my feet and followed her.

**-)(-**

Leliana spotted me as I left the back room shortly after the bar maid did. She gave me a knowing look as she watched Bella continue to smile as she retrieved drinks for the other patrons and I got into a heated discussion with the owner. According to my new friend, the owner Lloyd hadn't received the proper persuasion to join the town's defenses and I was quick to give him one: death.

To show her appreciation, Bella brought over a few glasses of good ale, pausing long enough to trail her fingers across my shoulders as she walked away.

"Making new friends, Warden?" Leliana asked slyly as she drank.

"Oh, Bella was very helpful," I replied, picking up my drink as well.

"Did you notice the elf over there?" she asked softly and I nodded.

"Let's go have a little chat, shall we?"

**-)(-**

"So the elf admitted that he was sent to spy on the castle?" Alistair asked a few minutes later. He had noticed the commotion caused by Lloyd joining the town's militia, as well as an elf no one knew but had seen in the tavern.

"After some convincing, he finally admitted he was," I said and glanced at Leliana.

"It sounds as if someone knew this was going to happen," Morrigan said.

"What did you find out?" I asked her.

"Only that whatever is attacking this village is coming from the castle," she said. "It is very powerful magic."

"Can't we just go straight there, instead of waiting for tonight then?" Leliana asked. Bann Teagan had explained that the attacks came every night.

"Whatever this is has cast a powerful barrier over the entrance," Morrigan explained. "Unless there is another way in, we will have to wait."

"Sten, how are they on defenses?" I asked the silent warrior.

"The men are poorly trained, Warden. It is a surprise to me that they have lasted even this long," was all he said.

"Was it difficult to convince the blacksmith to return to work?" I asked Alistair and he looked at me guiltily.

"Only after convincing him we would do everything in our power to locate his only daughter…"

"You actually convinced him we could find her?" Morrigan asked. "If she's been stuck in the castle all this time, she is most likely dead!"

"Then he will at least have a body to bury, Morrigan." I looked at her outraged face and sighed. "Did he at least have weapons or armor that Sten could use?"

"These weapons are inferior but they will do," Sten replied.

"Then we wait," I said, looking around the table at my companions and sipping the new pitcher of ale that Bella brought me.


	37. Chapter 37

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O _**game_** and **_ play**_story line, using the characters, locations and some back stories, but I have added bits of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

**-)(-**

I walked the village well before dusk, recalling very little of it from when I was a child. I made my way throughout the houses to make sure the fires we saw earlier were all put out and on finding a surface dwarf locked in his home, persuaded him and his guards to join in on the village's defenses. It pained me to force more people when the Bann assured them they would not be but seeing the faces of the terrified women who had lost already their sons and husbands, I was more than a little enraged at these cowardly men.

Sten and Alistair, along with a few Templars had moved all of the barrels of oil that had been located in one of the small shops, placing them on the main path leading to the village in hopes to slow down the attackers. The shopkeeper had perished in one of the previous encounters and his widow had given permission to take them, after the Bann had agreed she would be compensated for their use.

I found myself back at the tavern, having had an altercation with one of the Templars who took issue with an apostate mage traveling in our group. He was attempting to take Morrigan into custody when Sten and I approached and I demanded that he release her. Ser Perth was called the moment we drew our weapons and he was forced to stand down. As I was walking back to the tavern with Morrigan, he could be heard commenting to another Templar that he doubted I was even a Grey Warden.

"When this is over, Templar, we shall settle this," I promised him over my shoulder and continued down the path. I stopped, seeing that Alistair and Teagan had also witnessed what had occurred. I crossed my arm across my chest and bowed my head to the Bann in apology and he demanded that Templar Hagen, as I discovered was his name, be placed in defense of the Chantry instead. Despite his protests, Ser Perth agreed to move him away from the battle.

Once Teagan and Alistair returned down the path away from us, Hagen glared at me for being removed from the battle. He took a step towards me but he looked first at Sten standing beside me and stopped. "This isn't over," he snarled.

"Count on it," I said to him sweetly. "And it's **Warden** to you."

Once back at the tavern, Bella brought out more ale and I sat back making myself comfortable. Morrigan watched the bar maid walk away, raising her eyebrows slightly as she had deliberately touched my hand when handing me the drink.

"Might I ask you a question, Warden?" I turned to her and waited for her to continue, drinking the good ale. "Why do you continue to defend me against the Templars?"

"Would you rather I go against my word to your mother, Morrigan?" I asked her back jokingly. "Although I doubt you make it easy for them, I meant what I said in Lothering. I would sooner fight than allow them to take you to the Circle."

"It escapes me why you feel this way. We are not blood yet you would stand up to these men?" I could see that she could not understand my reasoning and I sighed as I leaned forward, placing the pint down on the table.

"I know it seems everyone believes mages should be locked away but I do not. Nor do I believe their families should be kept from them," I said softly as I looked at her. "When I was little, I knew a girl just like you. Alessa was the closest thing I had to a sister and one day they discovered she was a mage. It happened when she found her stepfather, an ex-_Templar_, raping her little sister. She burned him to try to stop him and accidentally killed her sister as well. Her mother turned her in to the Templars and I watched as they murdered her for killing one of their own," I explained and picked up my pint once again and drained it. "No one deserves that, Morrigan."

"Most would have let that experience taint the way they see mages but you…I'm not sure what to say," she admitted.

"I had often wondered why my friend would not allow me to visit her home until that day. I didn't realize it was to protect me," I told her. "Her mother mourned her husband and youngest daughter but would become hysterical when Alessa's name was mentioned. She denied ever having a daughter who could have been so _tainted_ by magic."

I paused when Bella brought me a new pint, smiling at her in thanks. I looked back at Morrigan, who was taking in everything I had told her. I had never told anyone about Alessa, whose true father had once been the keep's blacksmith. Her mother was a mid-wife and we were friends since birth. She was the one friend I had who did not think I was strange for wanting to train with my brother. We had remained friends even after her father had passed and her mother had taken to drinking heavily, eventually remarrying the handsome ex-Templar Simon who everyone knew. Only no one knew he married her only for her two young daughters.

I had often heard tales of Templars taking advantage of the mages in the Circle tower and after what had happened with Alessa and her sister, I believed them.

"Thank you for sharing your tale, Warden," she said and got up slowly. "I will leave you for now to relax…I believe someone is waiting for your attention."

I looked up as Alistair sat down in the chair that Morrigan had left, hands clasped and leaned forward to me. "Maker's breath, Kat, what was that all about earlier?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "He was trying to arrest Morrigan, Alistair. What would you have me do?" I asked and took a drink from my pint.

"I could have informed the Bann that she was with us and he would have her released," he said.

"By then it would be too late. They would have taken her to the Circle, or tried to and it would have made matters worse!" I looked at him. "You know I'm right and despite how you feel, you know we need her."

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it and sighed. "Alright, I admit we do need her but her being an apostate will only continue to cause problems with every Templar we come across."

"And apparently so will my being a woman," I responded. "I promised I will speak to the Bann once this is over and explain Morrigan as best as I can, alright?"

He grinned and leaned back. "I'll be at the Chantry until dusk, speaking to Teagan and Murdock about tonight's preparations. Will you be joining me?"

"I'll be along shortly, Alistair," I agreed and looked over his shoulder, glad he did not realize exactly why I was distracted.


	38. Chapter 38

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

**-)(-**

I watched as the sun sank lower over the lake and knew the time had finally come. Soon we would see if what Bann Teagan and the rest of the villagers said were true, that the dead were indeed returning to life and attacking from the castle. Upon my own survey, I could find no evidence of corpses lying about the village from the previous battles, such as some rotted flesh or dismembered parts strewn about. I felt it might be possible they were taking the fallen bodies back with them and it was only a matter of waiting to see what horrors awaited us come evening.

Morrigan was still uncertain what magic she was feeling from the castle and decided to make her stand with Alistair, Sten, and the bulk of the Templars, along with Dwyn, the dwarf I found locked up in his home with his personal guards, on the path below the gates. Leliana, the spy Berwick, a few of the remaining archers and I were positioned on the landing outside the tavern, with the view overlooking the square in case stragglers somehow made it passed them towards the village. I was concerned that they would come up through the lake and had the man keep watch from all sides. The remaining militia, along with Murdock, stood vigilant in front of the Chantry.

I had walked Bella and a few of the women to the Chantry, making sure that the door was firmly secured from the other side before making my way up the hill back towards the tavern. The men looked around anxiously as I glanced towards Murdock, knowing the old veteran would demand hold their position or die trying. He had survived the nightly attacks and his will alone had kept the men from running away from the ghouls that refused to stay down. I admired his rough exterior as he reminded me of the Armor master at Highever.

It was well past midnight when I took my place beside the resentful elf, who wished to keep his involvement a secret from the rest of the village and I had agreed only if he stayed to defend it. In the distance, I heard the alarm and looked towards the castle path, waiting to hear the explosion of the oil barrels to signal that they had begun to engage the unknown enemy. I could see the flames in the distance as I heard another distinct call and turned as Owen the blacksmith drew our attention towards the lake. There were creatures coming towards the men in the square and it took me a moment for my mind to acknowledge what they truly were. As they ran to attack the militia, I could hear Leliana mutter blessings and we each let our arrows rain down on them.

With what seemed like ages, I sent arrow after arrow into the skull of each shambling creature I spotted, seeing that hits to the bodies had little to no effect. Leliana, Berwick and I had the best aim, while the other archers settled for trying to pin them for the others to attack. I watched the men in the square vigilantly taking aim if any of the creatures tried to surround the men. Finally I spotted Alistair, Morrigan and Sten rushing down the castle path and knew it was time to join in the battle below, leaving what little arrows I had left with Leliana as I unsheathed my swords and ran to join the others.

As I was closer, I came up just as one of the creatures was about to overwhelm Tomas, the villager we met earlier that day and quickly cut off its head. I turned as another crashed bodily into me and I looked closely at its hideous face as its lips pulled back into a snarl before falling down from the arrow that pierced its skull. I looked up at Leliana and nodded briefly to her before moving on to the next creature, hacking and slashing limbs to slow them down before striking a head blow. Soon I was covered in cold slimy filth but grinning as it appeared that we were turning the tide, and soon there were fewer of the creatures left to face. Many of the men were fatigued and it was left to the few of us left to dispatch the last of the creatures.

Well before the sun was up, I looked around to see if there were any casualties and was happy to see that there were none, only a few wounded, covered in the same icky substance as I was that had come from the dead. I watched as all the bodies were gathered and taken down to the lake shore to be set aflame in the hopes it would keep them from returning again should we fail to breach the castle later, with or without the help of the Bann.

I walked up the path to the tavern, grinning at Leliana and the other archers for a job well done. Berwick reluctantly clasped my offered hand as I was covered in the vile blood and grinning, I pulled him into a tight embrace. He yelped and squirmed to get free of me while the rest of the men laughed. I looked down as the doors to the Chantry creaked open and Bevin, the young boy I had found hiding the day before, stuck his head out to look at the now clear square.

"Where will you go now?" I asked the elf, who was desperately trying to remove the filth on his armor and failing.

He glared at me briefly and thought on the matter, realizing that if word got out that he helped defend the village he was paid to watch…His shoulders fell once he realized he would be hunted for failing to stay out of the fight.

"Truly, I don't know. I had hoped this job would help me…"

"You seem like a good man, Berwick and in all honesty, I had not expected you to stay," I admitted to him. "It seems to me that you are a man without a home and as you are rather useful with a bow, I propose this: stay here in Redcliffe and teach the men."

He stared at me dumbfounded until he noticed the faces of the men who stood behind him. They agreed with what I said to him and I put my hand lightly on his back to move him away from them.

"Leliana and I will not tell the Bann about your dealings with Loghain if you agree to this," I said and Leliana nodded in agreement. "Men of your caliber with a bow are rare, Berwick, and Redcliffe could use someone like you. Think on it, elf, but do not take long. I will not be here long."

Leliana and I took only a few steps away from him when he put his hand on my arm to stop me. "I'll do it," was all he said and I smiled.

"Good. I'll inform Murdock and the Bann immediately," I said and we continued down to the square where everyone from the Chantry gathered.


	39. Chapter 39

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

**-)(-**

The Redcliffe villagers looked out from the dark Chantry, happy over the night's success. I made my way towards Murdock and the other men who stood to show the women there were no casualties among us. I watched everyone empty out into the square and listened to the Bann's speech of surviving yet another night. The Templar who was posted in the Chantry as punishment slowly made his way through the dispersing crowds, with the women all calling out their blessings to him for remaining with them. Alistair stood beside Teagan and they spoke briefly before the Bann walked back into the Chantry. I caught sight of Bella beckoning me back to the tavern and hoped that whatever she had in mind, it involved soap and hot water. And even a warm bed for a few hours of sleep.

Though the battle had only last a few hours, the clean-up afterwards had taken longer and looking around in the early morn, it was easy to ignore the fact that Redcliffe might not have survived many more attacks. I wondered what would have happened if we had been arrived just a few days later. Would there be anyone left alive to tell the tale of what happened or would it fall into ruin as the darkspawn took over all of Thedas?

I stumbled into the tavern and was greeted wearily by Lloyd the owner who was sprawled out behind the bar with a bottle clutched in his arms, soon fast asleep as I made my way slowly to the back room. Bella was indeed setting up the large basin, warming water in a large kettle and I undressed slowly, feeling last night's gore flake off my skin as I moved. I placed my weapons on a nearby table and sat by the fire, feeling the warmth seep into my weary muscles. I grabbed a clean wet cloth and used it to clean my arms and neck, wiping as much of the filth off my body before stepping into the basin to soak.

I thought about all the times I waited for Nan to do the same thing after long days of practicing with my brother and cousin. It was hard to recall those simpler times, when I had little to worry about. I had often read stories of battles long past and wondered if I would have had the strength to overcome as my ancestors had. It was difficult to imagine them dealing with such creatures.

"The water is ready for you, my lady."

I felt Bella gently shake my shoulder and realized that I had fallen into a light sleep. I smiled and stretched as I got to my feet, walking slowly so as not to trip on the blanket I was tightly wrapped in. I let it drop to the floor as I neared the basin, shivering at the cool air.

"Are you in here, Warden?" I heard Leliana ask at the door as I stepped into the warm water and quickly sat down.

"Yes, I'm in here, Leliana," I called out, crossing my arms across my chest as she walked in. She took a step back and I swallowed my laugh she turned away from me, closing my eyes as I settled my body lower into the basin.

"Pardon me!" she cried out, blushing when she saw I was relaxing. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's alright," I said and opened my eyes. "Is there something you needed?"

"Morrigan says that the gates are still shielded as they were the day before when we arrived and I have been giving it some thought," she said and walked towards me. "All castles have secrets passages that are known only to very few. There's no reason that Redcliffe castle should be any different and I have been searching the village to find where it might be."

"Have you found anything?"

"Not yet but I will keep looking," she said and stood up. "If you'll allow me to continue, I will inform you as soon as I find anything. This way you can get a few hours rest."

I thought about her suggestion and realized I was too tired to argue. She smiled and walked towards the door. "Alistair mentioned he grew up in the castle. See if he knows anything but do not tell him why," I called after her.

I waited until she was gone before sitting back and relaxing. I felt as warm water was poured over my head and fingers massaged my scalp to rinse it clean. I looked up as Bella poured scented soap to her palm and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Are you feeling better, Warden?" she asked.

"If you keep spoiling me, I may insist that you join us on our mad quest," I replied, smiling as she poured more water to rinse out the lather.

"A tempting off but I'm not as handy with a sword as the rest of your companions," she replied.

I sat up and hugged my knees. "Why didn't you leave here when this all started?" I asked her.

"And go where? I have no family and no place to go. If I leave here I'll need money to travel safely," she said, stroking my back.

"If you had money, would you leave?"

"I still have nowhere to go," she said and leaned closer to me. "Unless you have a place you can suggest…"

I looked over my shoulder at her. "I no longer have a home, Bella, but if I did I would suggest you go there," I told her honestly. "With the darkspawn…"

"I'll be fine for now, Warden. When the time comes I will make my way out of Redcliffe," she said and sighed. "I just never dreamed I would leave this place."

"Hopefully it won't come to that, Bella," I said.

I turned and looked at her again, seeing once again how similar she reminded me of the girl I was before Ostagar.


	40. Chapter 40

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**40**_

I slept for only a few hours but from the combined weariness from last night's battle and the constant stress of knowing there was still so much left to do, I was able to sleep without dreaming and for that I was thankful. I stretched until I felt the slow burn of my muscles being fully extended and slowly relaxed for a moment before sitting up.

"Are you leaving?" Bella asked sleepily.

I looked over my shoulder at her and nodded. "We must find a way into the castle," I told her. "I fear something worse will come from the castle later tonight."

She moved closer to me and touched my back. "You will be careful, won't you?"

"If we're lucky, this will be over soon enough," I said but making no promises. "I need to see in my companions have found a way in."

"The Bann would know," she yawned and I stood up, pulling on a robe that was lying on a nearby chair.

"For now I'm not sure he would willingly share that information. He must realize that there is a strong possibility that this isn't over," I said and fastened the tie, watching Bella lay her head back down.

"Perhaps Owen would know," she whispered sleepily, which broke me out of my stare and look around the small room for my armor. After nearly knocking over a vase in my haste, I heard her sit up to see what I was up to.

"Bella, where's my armor?" I finally asked her.

"Owen collected it this morning because it was so filthy," she yawned and easily stood up, collecting my pack that had been lying on the floor beside her. "Your companion from earlier dropped this off."

I took the pack and checked that the ties were still secure. "Did she leave a message?" I asked and she watched as I inspected the complicated knots I had used.

"No, she said not to wake you just yet," she replied. "Do you need anything, Warden?"

I turned and smiled at her. "A basin and washcloth to freshen up with would be nice, but only if you have them nearby." I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "When this is over, Bella, I plan on getting you away from this place."

She got up and placed her hand gently on my cheek. "You don't have to make me any promises," she said softly and I took her hand in mine.

"I keep my promises," I told her.

-) (-

I made my way down to visit Owen the blacksmith with my other armor in hand, hoping he would be up to the task of repairing the damage done at Ostagar. Still reeking of ale, he held the Drakeskin armor reverently in his hands and declared only one man could repair it in Denerim. While I hoped my master's gift could be salvaged, I dreaded the thought of venturing to the capital with Loghain spreading rumors of the Grey Warden betrayal having a hand in the slaughter of the King.

"You won't be forgetting my Valena in that castle? Your fellow Warden promised he would bring her back to me," the old man reminded me and it took me a moment to catch my breath from the closeness of his still apparent drunkenness.

"I make you no promises, blacksmith," I said as I headed towards the door. "If your daughter still lives we will see her safely out."

He baulked at my comment and yet still looked relieved that I was at least willing to try. "At least you're honest," he said and wiped his hand across his brow. "I've repaired your armor and filled your quivers. I have more if you need anything else to help you find my daughter."

I stopped and turned back to him. "What I need is a way in," I admitted quietly. "The gates are shielded and we cannot pass them. But if there were another way in…"

He huffed and crossed his arms. "Yes, I've seen the Orlesian woman snooping around the village. Figured she was up to something but never came out and rightly said what," he said. "There's the passage in the mill not far from here but only a member of the Arl's family can get in or out."

"By way of a special key perhaps?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at him and he nodded. I crossed my arm and bowed to him. "Thank you, Owen."

I left the blacksmiths and made my way swiftly back up the hill towards the unassuming mill that overlooked the village. It was functional, hidden in plain sight and was perfect. I stopped short when I crested the hill and came upon Alistair and the Bann arguing, which abruptly stopped as I neared. I spotted Leliana coming down the hill, having left Morrigan at the castle gates and I leaned my head towards the mill. She smiled and we turned to the men who were arguing.

"Alistair, you have not properly introduced your fellow Warden," Leliana reminded him to try and break the ice between them. He looked flustered and I tried not to glare at her as she pushed me towards the other man, thankful I had purchased a new cowl from the blacksmith and had placed it as I had before to cover as much of my face as possible.

"I apologize for not having done so sooner," the Bann. "Alistair mentioned he traveled with a fellow surviving Warden from Ostagar but did not mention you were a woman."

"Perhaps because I threatened him not to view me as such," I said lightly, smiling in Alistair's direction.

I realized then Leliana's purpose for the introduction as I saw the ring he wore and knew it was exactly what I was looking for. My father had one similar he kept on him at all times. Hoping he couldn't possibly remember me as the child from so long ago, I removed my cowl and smiled at him as I took his hand. He looked into my eyes and held my hand longer than was proper and when he let go, I palmed the ring.


	41. Chapter 41

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**41**_

I bowed slightly and waited for the Bann to walk away, following him with my eyes even if I continued to face the castle in the distance. I moved away slowly with Leliana by my side, replacing my cowl over my hair and was surprised when Alistair stopped me, grabbing my arm and pulling me further away.

"What are you two up to?" he demanded, leaning in close to me. I yanked my arm out of his grasp and turned slightly to Leliana.

"What did you tell him?" I asked her quietly.

"Nothing, I swear!"

"I don't know how but I know you took his signet ring," he said and refused to back down. "I demand to know why!"

I sighed and smiled at the Bann, who noticed we were arguing. "Whatever is happening here will not stop until we get into the castle and this ring is the key to getting us there."

He backed off slightly and looked off to the side. "What does a simple ring have to do with what you're planning?"

"This proves there is a secret passage into the castle, Alistair," Leliana said softly.

"But how…"

"Morrigan is certain she cannot break whatever bars the main gates to the castle, but with this we can find a another way inside," I finally answered. "We cannot stay here forever, Alistair, and there is no doubt in my mind that whatever is attacking Redcliffe will only continue until every person is dead. It may then try break free of the gates and the rest of Ferelden would need to deal with not just one threat but two."

He thought hard about what I said. "We could just ask him," he suggested.

"_Warden…_" warned Leliana but I leaned into Alistair instead.

"He's had this ring the whole time. At any point he would have stormed inside with the remaining Knights but he chose to defend the village. He is a good man but he may not have mentioned it…"

"Alistair is right, Warden," interrupted Teagan. "You could have just asked me."

I had ignored Leliana's hand on my arm and for that was caught off guard but his sudden appearance. I bowed to him and closed my fingers over the ring as Alistair moved away. "Forgive me, Bann Teagan, but we cannot remain here night after night protecting one village when all of Ferelden needs us."

"Please, Warden, just call me Teagan," he said as he walked closer to the edge of the cliff, away from us and we followed him. "I know we cannot continue to fight but I was unwilling to risk losing your help should you fall inside the castle. After the success of last night's battle…"

**"**_**Wardens!" **_

I turned as soon as I heard Sten call out from the castle gates and watched a slender noble woman stumbling down the castle path.

_Isolde…_

I watched disdainfully as the Arlessa of Redcliffe fairly threw herself into the arms of Teagan, sobbing. As a child, I could not bear the haughty Orlesian woman as she looked down upon my father. Feeling uncomfortable, I walked towards Morrigan and Sten that were still at the castle gates. There was a solitary guard stationed not far from the two and I wondered who had posted him there.

"What happened?" I asked the two unlikely sentries.

"Quite simply: the gates flew open and the barrier dropped only long enough for her to pass before the gates closed once more, Warden," Morrigan stated, brushing her fingers lightly over the barrier.

"The Templars were of no use as well," Sten added. I looked at the two of them when I realized they had worked together on the problem the gates caused.

"Sten had hoped their _abilities_ to dispel magic could break the barrier," Morrigan explained. "It might have worked if this were a normal barrier," she added.

"Explain," I said simply and watched as she crossed her arms at my tone of voice. "I'm sorry Morrigan. It's not you who I should be upset with. Please explain."

"Very well then; I believe that this simply cannot be ordinary magic. To hold a barrier this long and to raise the army of dead from the night before would require more magic than can be found in any circle alone, let alone a castle," she said and I looked at the gates.

"You're thinking a demon is doing all this?" I asked her. "Exactly how and for what purpose?"

"That I cannot tell you, Warden."

"No matter," I said and looked to the group speaking at the bottom of the path. "We have our way into the castle."

I gestured for them to leave the gates and continue down toward the mill, hands unconsciously on my daggers. Morrigan watched me slightly fidget and laughed.

"You do not care for this woman?" she asked and I stopped to look at her. Sten continued on past us and I looked back at the woman in question.

"No, I never cared for Lady Isolde," I admitted.

"Is she not the wife of this Arl we seek?" she asked.

"She is," I said and looked back at her. "It's not even for the fact she's Orlesian. There's just something about her I do not like." I paused and started walking down the path.

We came upon the remained of the argument and I immediately wished I had chosen to return.

"Teagan, you must return with me! Do not listen to _Alistair_!" Isolde was tugging at his arm as I walked up. It upset me the way she fairly spat out Alistair's name and I forcibly removed her hand from his arm, causing her to stumble away.

"It interests me that you are finally here after many nights of creatures attacking the village. You seem far more interested in the Bann than what has happened here," I said to her icily.

"How _dare_ you!" she said and attempted to slap me. I grabbed her wrist and stopped her, smiling cruelly at her as she tried to pull her hand back.

"Look at what remains of Redcliffe!" I growled to her.

"That's enough, Warden," Teagan said and put his arm on mine. I reluctantly released her and she grabbed her bruised wrist. "Alistair knows the information you need."

"Going in alone…without protection is madness, Teagan," Alistair put in through gritted teeth and he shook his head sadly.

"I will do what I must."

I watched as he followed Isolde before turning to the rest.

"We need to hurry," I said and stopped as I thought about what Teagan had said. "Sten, I need you to remain behind. If we do not return, you must help the villagers get out. Separate from us you could travel to Denerim to seek aid."

If he looked surprised for being excluded, he hid it by bowing his head to me. I would have asked Alistair to stay but knew from the determined look upon his face the matter was closed. He would follow me into the castle regardless of what I said.


	42. Chapter 42

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**42**_

We made our way into the mill after conferring with a handful of the remaining Knights of Redcliffe. I agreed that the Templars should remain with Murdock to defend the village, should we fail to return before nightfall. If there were more of the undead still within the castle, we would need every blade at our disposal and they were just as eager to find the Arl as we were. Morrigan insisted on climbing the ladder down and entering first, checking along the walls to see if the barrier extended as far out as the passage. I sent Alistair in to watch her back, knowing his abilities would offer him some protection if magic was involved. The wary men fidgeted in the confined space, the constant whine of the water wheel making it hard to communicate.

Once she was satisfied that there was nothing to impede us, she returned to the bottom of the ladder and gestured for us to follow. I looked around once I reached the bottom rung at the small circular room, barely wide enough to allow us all breathing room. Alistair was lighting a few torches that he had taken down from the wall, handing a few to the men as they moved away from the ladder. We pushed hard against the warped door that opened up to a low, roughly cut tunnel, which allowed only room enough for us to travel single file. I didn't envy the Knights in their heavy armor, who needed to walk awkwardly at an angle to fit.

We came to another badly damaged door and this time, no amount of pressure would get it to move in either direction. The only way through would be to force our way in by splintering the wooden door. One of the knights sent up a spare axe and I had to flatten myself against the wall to allow Alistair room to get past me, which was no small feat considering the extremely limited space. He looked away as we awkwardly twisted to switch positions. Morrigan had had no such problems as she was smaller and easier to get past in her thin layer of leathers but our armor made it impossible not to come in contact with each other. I coughed as I handed him the axe and motioned everyone to step back to give him room. Thankfully, the rotted wood gave way and we found ourselves in another darkly lit room with damp stone walls.

"Where are we?" I asked Ser Donnall, one of the few knights whose names I could recall, from meeting him briefly in Lothering. He looked around and walked further into the room before gesturing to us to follow him.

"It seems we're near the old abandoned dungeons, far under the castle. I was under the impression that all access to these levels had long since caved in," he said when Alistair and I joined him.

"Most likely it was to discourage anyone from venturing this way and discovering the passage. I don't think anyone has been down here still the tunnel was made," I said and watched as Alistair was brushing cobwebs from his hair. "I doubt the Arl ever considered sending someone to check that it was still usable."

"We should be able to make it to the cellar easily, as long as there are no obstacles along the way," he said, pausing when we could hear yelling from further in.

"Go find the exit," I said as Alistair and I moved towards the sound. "We'll meet you there!"

Morrigan and Leliana followed closely at our heels, down the twists and turns, passed the rusted bars that clearly marked the disused rooms for what they were. In the farthest corner we could see more of the undead creatures frantically reaching inside one of the cells that looked like it had been recently repaired. I dropped the torch I was carrying as I drew my short swords and ran towards them, kicking one away from the bars as I stuck my blade into the neck of another, twisting violently to the side to sever the head. I barely caught a glimpse of a terrified man cowering in the back of the cell when something caught my arm and I turned. I spun away under its arm, kicking its legs out from under it and thrust my sword into its eye, watching it twitch for a moment before it finally stopped moving. I stepped back as I caught the smell of burnt rotted flesh and covered my mouth with my cloak as the screeching finally stopped when Alistair severed its head.

"Andraste's _ass_, Morrigan! That was a smell I was hoping to forget!" I said loudly through the cloak's fabric. Leliana was also holding her hand beneath her nose and I could see she was trying not to gag on the putrid smell as well.

"Maker bless you!"

I turned back to the man who was slowly regaining his feet. His robes betrayed him for a mage, but I could not locate a staff near him and was unsure why he was the only one locked up. I moved closer to the bars with Leliana close to my back to allow light inside the small cell. I saw that his robes were torn from the creatures that had tried to get to him but the other marks on his face spoke of being beaten. I saw red as I reached into my back pouch and knelt to start working on picking the lock.

"Are you Jowan?" Alistair asked and I looked up briefly to see his shoulders deflate. Whatever Isolde had told them, it involved him. I had hoped he at least had some answers for me and I continued to work on the lock, ignoring the hand on my shoulder to get me to stop.

"Please, don't leave me here! There will be more of those things…" he pleaded but Alistair cut him off.

"Which you caused!"

I looked up as the lock made an audible click and the door moved freely. I got back up and opened the door, keeping an eye of him as I returned my lock picks back into my pouch, watching him swallow as his eyes fell on the daggers that I rested my hands on. I moved slowly towards him, knowing he watched me carefully.

"Now, then,_ Jowan_…why don't you tell me what's going on? I doubt the Arlessa went through the trouble of hiding you down here unless you had some involvement…" I said as I slowly withdrew a weapon, the sound causing him to flinch as I neared him.

"I swear I didn't cause this!" he screeched as I moved closer to him and he pressed up against the wall. I could hear Alistair move away from the cell when the mage began to whimper.

"Lady Isolde claims that you drugged the Arl," Leliana said from close by. I looked over my shoulder briefly at her, listening to the sound of her voice. I knew she wanted to reassure him that if answered our questions, he would not be harmed but my expression had said otherwise. "She says you are a blood mage and that this all started when you were brought to Castle Redcliffe."

"I…I…" he stuttered when I turned back to him.

"I can clearly see the marks on your hands, blood mage. You cannot deny what you are," Morrigan said from the doorway. "Yet the magic I am sensing is not your own. Why are you here? And why would the Arlessa want to place the blame on your head?"

He looked at each of us before speaking. "It's true," he said and I narrowed my eyes when I turned back to him. "I am a blood mage. I escaped from the tower and was captured. But I was brought here to teach the Arl's son in private. Lady Isolde assured me that if I helped the boy hide his magic, she wouldn't turn me over to the Templars."

I lowered my dagger but did not re-sheath it. "Explain faster, blood mage, or I will gut you where you stand," I growled.

"Katriel!" came from Alistair, shocked at my tone of voice.

"No, Alistair! If he escaped for being a blood mage, he was mostly likely to be executed or made Tranquil. It is no small feat to escape the Calenhad tower," I said and turned back to him. "So what was it? Execution or be made Tranquil?" I asked him once more.

"I was to be made Tranquil. I only escaped because I couldn't stand to lose the one thing mages aren't allowed to have," he pleaded and I waited for him to continue. "I wanted to escape to be with the woman I loved."

"And where is she?" I asked.

"She…she didn't approve of my magic. I swore I would never use it once we were free but she said she could never love a blood mage," he said and hung his head.

"Smart girl," I said and re-sheathed my dagger. "Now, explain everything you know, but quickly. We need to get inside the castle."

"What will you do with me?" he asked softly.

"I haven't decided yet."


	43. Chapter 43

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**43**_

It was easy to see that intimidation was not going to get us anywhere with the mage. One quick look at Alistair was enough to decide Jowan's fate. As much as he claimed he wanted to help, I could see he was in no shape to aid us. I dug in my pack for some fruit Bella had given me and handed it to him, watching him devour it quickly. I checked the bruises on his swollen face and he winced as I felt along his broken cheekbone.

"I can't guarantee your safety if you stay in this cell, but I think you're better off here than wandering around on your own," I said as I took a small jar of salve out of my pack and spread it on his wounds. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes when he realized that I wasn't going to kill him.

"Why are you doing this, my lady?" he asked quietly, looking past me at Alistair.

"Despite your poor choices in magic, I can clearly see that Isolde's guards have done nothing more than beat you," I said as I replaced the cap on the salve. "Had we met under different circumstances, I would have helped you."

He placed his hand on mine and I looked down at it. "Why? No woman, man or child would ever risk themselves for a mage," he said and I could see the sadness in his eyes.

"Because I believe everyone should be treated equally, Jowan. Not all mages would be forced to blood magic if they were just given the rights…"

"Thank you, my lady," he interrupted me and squeezed my hand.

"I'm not…"

"You may fool some, but your beliefs and mannerisms say otherwise," he said and smiled at me. "I don't understand why you are placing yourself in danger." I saw his eyes shift to Alistair once again, who was standing not far outside the door.

"We're Wardens, Jowan, and we need the help of Arl Eamon to raise an army to defeat the darkspawn," I said and stood up. "Now, you're certain about the boy?"

"I was captured and brought here to teach him to control his magic. He had been showing signs and the Arlessa was worried that her husband would insist that he be sent to the circle to study," he said and I could feel the waves of agitation coming off of Alistair.

"It was rather convenient that you should be captured so close to Redcliffe," Morrigan pointed out and he looked down.

"That's because I was escorted here from the capital. Once I escaped the tower, I had replaced my robes with clothes I had stolen and slowly made my way to Gwaren. I had thought I was finally free once I was on board the ship but somehow I was discovered," he said and looked at me. "That was when I was given the choice: come to Redcliffe to tutor Connor or be returned to the tower."

"Eamon was probably too busy preparing to march to Ostagar to notice him," Alistair said quietly. "Which means Loghain has been planning this whole nightmare from the start; probably since before Duncan first approached Cailan about the growing threat of the darkspawn horde."

"He was planning on replacing Cailan one way or another," Leliana said quietly. "The battle at Ostagar merely gave him someone to blame for the kings death."

"I was given strict instructions by the Arlessa that I was not to bring attention to myself. The Arl knew that I was here as Connor's new tutor but was never told the truth on what."

"Then how did you manage to get close to Eamon?" I asked.

"He invited me to have lunch with him and Connor. Getting to know him, I realized he was an honorable man…"

"And yet you _still_ poisoned him. What does that say about your honor?" Morrigan pointed out.

"I didn't want to die! I was told there would be someone in the village watching the castle, that once word spread that the Arl was sick they would send word to Denerim," he said and looked away. "Only it was soon after these creatures appeared and I was locked in here."

"Who was watching the castle? Were they to help you escape once you completed what was asked of you? What else was expected of you once you poisoned the Arl?" I demanded.

"I was never told who was watching or anything else. I was told they would never contact me and I would never see them until word was sent to the capital about the Arl. I had hoped whoever it was had a plan to get me out of here," he said and sighed. "But now I'm left here to rot. I was better off at the Circle. At least there I would be oblivious to my tormentors."

I moved away from the mage and moved closer to Alistair with Leliana trailing behind me. He had remained quiet after he came to same realization that we had and I knew it was a lot for him to take in but I needed him focused on the here and now.

"For what it's worth, I think he doesn't know much else," I said as I touched his arm when his mind appeared to be elsewhere.

"Do you think we can trust anything he said?" he asked and I took a step back.

"Can we afford not to? Did you believe everything Isolde told you earlier?" I asked and looked at the both of them. "How many mages would have been here besides a trusted healer? If Jowan is here then there must be another-one who trusted that Isolde would return to castle. Who else could it be but Connor?"

"I can't believe she would be so foolish…"

"A mother would be willing to do anything to protect her child, Alistair," Leliana put in and I noticed him stiffen at her words.

"He's no use to us while he's healing. If he tried to make his way through the tunnels the Templars would surely catch him as soon as he exited. Leaving him free he might run into more of those creatures," I said out loud, turning back to his cell. "It's best if he stays where he is. If we succeed, we may need his help."

"I don't agree with enlisting the help of a blood mage, but you may be right," Alistair said and we walked back to him.

"Jowan, we need to get inside the castle quickly and you're in no condition to come with us," I said as Morrigan exited the cell. "Can I trust you will be patient and wait for my return? I will speak on your behalf once we have things settled here."

"Thank you, my lady. I know I don't deserve your offer. I will wait here for your return," he said and I closed the door, listening to the lock click.

I couldn't but feel that it was a sound he was very familiar with.


	44. Chapter 44

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**44**_

We made our way quickly towards the knights. I noticed the uneasy glances passing between Ser Donnall and another knight as I approached them. Alistair could see the look of fury I wore as I approached the knight and did not follow when I gestured angrily for him not to.

"Were there more of those things?" he asked, dismissing the man he had been speaking to with a nod of his head.

"Yes and a mage locked in a cell," I said, looking closely at his face. It was a small gesture but it gave him away and I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the others. "You knew Jowan was still locked up and you made no move to rescue him! Were you responsible for his torture?" I demanded quietly, leaning close to him so my voice would not carry.

"No, Warden! Please believe that I would never be involved in torture! One of the other men said he overheard rumors from the Arlessa's personal guards," he said and looked away in distress. "They spoke of a mage, but I swear I did not know!"

"Do you believe Isolde was capable of hiding a mage here from Eamon?" I asked as I moved away from him. "Did he truly not know his own son was showing signs of magic?"

I could see what I asked him distressed him but I knew he would give my questions serious thought. "Lady Isolde is capable of doing whatever is needed to protect Connor," he admitted. "And Arl Eamon loves his wife to a fault."

"I feared as much." I said and crossed my arms across my chest. "I suppose it's safe to say that Bann Teagan was kept in the dark as well."

"It's safe to say, my lady, err…" he said when I glared at him. "I'm sorry, Warden."

"Were you aware?"

"I was," he said and looked away. "Strange things started happening around the boy. Lady Isolde commanded that we not speak of any of it with the Arl. I wasn't aware she was making silent inquiries until the mage was brought the castle. No one heard from him after the Arl became ill and the knights dispatched to find the Ashes of Andraste."

"Isolde sent you away for ashes that may or may exist? Is she insane?" I felt a hand on my arm and I turned to Alistair, who could no longer stay away the more I became agitated. "I suppose you didn't have any luck finding them."

"When our only lead went missing, we returned to Redcliffe and found it was being overrun by those monsters. Now our only concern is to find the Arl and get him and his family to safety," Ser Donnall said quietly.

"If Connor is the source of this, we will need to do more than that," I said and walked away towards the rest of the knights. "I expect more of those monsters the closer we come to finding the Lady Isolde and Bann Teagan. We must not let any of them escape the castle. We need to check every room, floor to floor and make sure the Arl is safe. Once the castle is safe, we can figure out a way to open the gates."

I watched as Ser Donnall made his way towards me, with Alistair following him. After all this time of being stuck in the castle, I wasn't hopeful on finding very many people alive. The best I could only hope that we could stop it from spreading.

"Lead the way," I told the knight.

-)(-

We made it through a few more areas before it became apparent we were lost. I recalled once as a child I had ventured into the vast cellars at Highever with Fergus and Roderick and gotten separated from them. I had been lost for several hours before I was found.

"This way." Alistair pointed out a direction that looked like much of the same areas we had already traveled through.

"Are you certain?" I asked but followed him anyways.

"I grew up here at castle Redcliffe," he reminded me. "I was always getting into the cellars when I was a child."

"Alistair got into more trouble than a mabari pup," Ser Donnall added and despite being angry at the man earlier, I laughed.

"What else was I supposed to do when there were no other children my age around the castle?" Alistair smiled. I tried to image him exploring as a child. I thought of how worried Fergus and Roderick looked when I was finally discovered. I laughed at them, thinking it was still a game until I saw the worried look on my father's face. I was forbidden from ever entering the cellars after that.

"It must have been lonely," I said and walked on ahead, shaking the memory of my father's face.

"I was luckier than most, I suppose. I knew that not every orphan was given the chances that I had to grow up in a castle," he said as he caught up to me. "At least, until Isolde saw to it that my life was not one of privilege. "

"I can imagine," I said, recalling the young the Arlessa. I began to think back to the few times I was invited to Castle Redcliffe as a child but no matter what, I could not recall a young boy here.

"The castle wasn't the same once you left, Alistair," the knight said. I knew they had known each other but it was easy to see that Ser Donnall must have known the younger man from an early age. I recalled many of my father's men who had looked at me just as fondly as a child, running around with my practice sword and bow.

I let them walk ahead as Morrigan approached me. "What do you plan to do with the boy, Warden?"

"I'm not sure yet," I said and sighed. "I don't suppose there's an easy way to help him if he is possessed, is there?"

"I cannot say for certain until we find the young man," she said. "It might just be far easier to…"

"I will not harm slaughter a child, Morrigan," I said sharply, thinking of the loss of my own family back in Highever. "Another way must be found."

"As you wish, Warden," she said as I walked away from her.


	45. Chapter 45

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**45**_

"Kat!"

I walked back to Alistair as he reached another door. He had been taking the lead, a role he was clearly uncomfortable with.

"Are we close? Where are we exactly?"

"Not yet but we're closer to the main courtyard. These stairs will lead to the servant's part of the castle," he said.

"Can we reach the castle from here?"

"No. This area is separate. From here we need to make our way to the courtyard."

"This may be where we'll find the blacksmith's daughter," Leliana added.

"If she is still alive," Morrigan pointed out and I looked sharply at her.

"I made a promise to the blacksmith to Owen that I would find his daughter, Kat," he said and Morrigan scoffed.

"Surely you don't believe…"

"If we need to, we will go room by room. With the knights, the search will go quicker," I said and waved Ser Donnall over. "Do your men recall the blacksmith's daughter?"

"Yes, Warden," he said and smiled. "She's hard to miss."

"Oh look, the fool is smitten…" Morrigan muttered and I cleared my throat as he tried to hide his blush.

"We need to find her. If she is alive, she must be returned to the village as quickly as possible with one of your men, down the tunnels, if necessary," I said. "Morrigan, once inside I will need you to find the source of this. The quicker we are done here, the quicker we move onto the next treaty."

"And most likely move onto another set of problems," she mumbled but sighed when I glared at her again. "I will do what I can."

"What will we do with the child if he is possessed, Warden?" Leliana asked solemnly.

"If he can be saved, we will do everything we can," I said as Alistair turned away. "For now, we must hope that something can be accomplished by all this. Our best hope lies with the Arl."

I walked towards the staircase that Alistair pointed out. The staircase was narrow and obviously rarely used. I tried to picture Alistair as a child, wandering down here unsupervised and resisted the impulse to turn back to him. I paused as I heard movement from further ahead before rushing up the stairs, hearing the rest follow behind me as I burst into another room filled with the creatures.

I ran at the nearest one, drawing both weapons as soon as I made it through the doorway. They were no different than the ones we had encountered and soon fell each on we encountered, searching room by room as quickly as we could. It was hard to imagine this now empty place as it should be, bustling with everyday life of servants rushing about, all with urgent tasks to be done. Now all I could see were the rotting corpses that have been roaming the halls and I prayed we would find someone still left alive. And which creature we struck down, I could the looks of despair from the men of Redcliffe as they recognized people they knew.

We cleared most of the rooms and were about to make our way out when I noticed one door was still unopened and made my way to it. I pressed my ear against the door and could hear faint sobbing coming from inside that sounded to me like a young woman. I tried the door and found it locked.

_Smart girl_, I thought.

"Did no one think to check this one?" I knelt down and started to work on the lock. From inside I could hear faintly hear items being moved around and I stopped.

"Go away!"

"Are you Valena?" I asked.

At first there was no answer. I could hear her move closer to the door. "Who are you? Why are you here?" she asked and I could tell she was right on the other side of the door. "You need to leave! The castle isn't safe!"

"Valena your father asked us to find you. He knew we were coming into the castle and made us promise to look for you," I said and beckoned for Ser Donnall to approach me. "Valena, your father needs you to come home."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" she asked.

"Valena, I was with your father," Donnall reassured her. "The woman with me is a Grey Warden. We're here to take back the castle."

She unlocked the door and peeked out at us. She cried as she recognized Ser Donnall and threw her arms around him. I took a step back as Alistair moved closer to me.

"You had faith we would find her," I commented when I saw the look of relief on his face.

"I could only hope she would find a way to keep herself safe all this time," he said and watched as Ser Donnall moved away from the girl and looked her over. "I'm just glad we found her alive."

I walked back towards her, seeing that she was still a little shaky but otherwise unharmed. Her clothes were torn and I could tell she had had more than a few run-ins with the creatures before locking herself in. She turned as I approached her and threw her arms around me when the knight introduced us.

"Valena," I asked as I grabbed her arms and pushed her gently away. "Do you know where the Arl is? Is he safe?"

"I haven't seen anyone in days, my lady," she said and lowered her eyes. "I managed to escape the castle but only made it here before we were overrun. I wanted to escape but with those things…" She teared up and I looked to the knight by her side.

"Send her back with an escort, Ser Donnall," I said as I looked at his concerned face and the frightened look on Valena's. "Someone you trust. Unfortunately I need you here in case anyone doubts why we are here."

He squeezed her shoulder for reassurance and gestured to one of his men, whispering to her before they hurried off.

"When this is over, I hope you hear that you've proposed to her, Ser Donnall," I said to him quietly before walking away towards Alistair, who was leading the way to the courtyard.


	46. Chapter 46

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**46**_

We stepped out into the courtyard and were blinded briefly by the sunlight. I could see debris on the ground as a few people had tried to make a run for the large portcullis that was usually left open during the day. I could see the bodies of a few who had been trapped underneath it when it had come crashing down, left there to rot. At a glance, it seemed in good order and I gestured to a few of the Knights to try their hand at raising it while I surveyed the staircase leading up to the castle. Even here there were a few scattered bodies of the undead that only reacted as we approached cautiously.

I could hear Ser Donnall commanding the men to lift the iron-gate and after a few minutes of struggling with it, it slowly began to lift with a loud wailing protest. I turned and could see figures running towards us and was surprised to see Ser Perth had chanced coming to the castle to join the fight.

"Morrigan?" I turned and looked at her once the Templars approached.

"I felt the barriers drop as soon as the Knights raised the gates," she said as she walked towards the gate. I stood behind her as she raised her hand out and tilted her head to one side.

"Then we should have no problems getting anyone else out," I said and turned towards the newest arrivals. "Stay here, Ser Perth, and guard the gate. If any more of those creatures get past us, lower the portcullis by any means necessary." I turned and gestured for the rest to follow me.

"No!" I stopped at the first step and turned, surprised to see that the Templar Hagen was among the group that had followed Ser Perth. "We should not stand idly by while she commands us to stay by the gate!"

"Ser Perth, I would put a muzzle on your man," I commented.

"I'll gladly do it for you," Morrigan said softly and Hagen bristled.

"You waste time bickering!" Ser Perth yelled. I had taken a step towards the Templar when he stepped between us. "The Wardens have done nothing but help us and if you can't see that then I suggest you tend to your wounded pride somewhere else." He turned and looked at the man briefly before turning away. "Your actions reflect poorly on the rest of us, Hagen. Perhaps it is time to consider if you are best suited to be a Templar."

I bowed my head at him before turning on my heel and ran up the stairs towards the large castle doors, easing them open as quietly as I could. I stopped and listened for the tell-tale sound of more of the creatures but all I could hear was the sound of a child's angry distorted voice coming from the main hall.

"Alistair, is there another way into the main part of the castle?" I asked.

"These doors lead into the main hall. From there you can get to the other areas," he answered as I turned to Morrigan.

"What will you do with the child, Warden?" Leliana asked.

"Is it possible for you to incapacitate him in any way that _will not_ kill him?" I asked the witch and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Yes," she said and I smiled.

"Stay back with Leliana. If he tries to make a run for it, make sure he doesn't get far," I said and headed towards the main hall.

"What exactly are you planning to do?" Alistair asked as I walked ahead of him.

"Be my charming self," I said and he groaned.

"That's what I was afraid of."

I walked towards the doors leading to the main hall, quickly noting the other doorways that lead to other parts of the castle and subtly nodded for Leliana and Morrigan to take their positions there. I approached the dais on the far end of the left hand side of the room, taking in everything surrounding the three central figures. I saw a few guards and from their blank expressions, I was certain they were newly dead and most likely controlled by the same being that had been attacking the village. What surprised me the most was one figure…

It took me a moment to recognize the man dancing unsteadily; silently throwing his body here and there, was none other than the Bann. A quick look at his face showed that he had no control over any of his movements, like a puppet being controlled with little to no regards that it was an actual man and not a toy. And dancing along with him, clapping his hands and smiling at it all, was a young boy. It was easy to see that he was possessed from the crazed look upon his face. Lady Isolde stood despondent, her head hung as she tried to ignore the sad spectacle that was being played out in front of her.

As we drew closer to them, the Bann's movements jerked to a stop and he dropped to the floor with his head to the side and glazed look on his face.

"And who is this, _mother_?" the child asked and I saw Isolde flinch at the question. I wondered if somehow she expected him to punish her for not answering his questions.

"She is a woman, Connor," she said simply.

"I see that!" he replied harshly and she flinched. "But she is nothing like you. She is young and beautiful," he looked back at her and scowled. "I can see why you would hate her. Should I punish her?"

"No, Connor. Do not hurt anyone, please, I beg you!" she cried out, reaching out an unsteady hand towards him that he slapped away.

"Do not touch me, _woman_!" he screeched and she cried out. "It was you who have attacked my warriors! How dare you!"

"I was protecting the villagers from the monsters that came from the castle," I said calmly as I approached them. "We're Wardens in need of help from the Arl. Nothing more."

"Father can't help you, Warden. But it seems you're here to ruin more of my fun!" he yelled and Isolde cried once more.

"No, Connor, please stop!" she pleaded and the boy briefly looked around dazed, shaking his head.

"No! I will have my fun! No one will stop me!" he cried out, gesturing for guards to attack.

My eyes followed him making his way passed us as the guards rushed towards us but I could only trust that Morrigan and Leliana would do as I had asked as I unsheathed my swords and turned back towards the battle. I stepped back as Teagan was suddenly jerked back to his feet and he walked unsteadily towards me. I could see that he was trying to fight Connor's hold on him even as he made a few poor attempts to swing his blade at me, which I easily stepped back from. Not wanting to hurt him or allow him to hurt me, I flipped my wrist and hit his hand with the flat side of my blade hard enough that he unable to hold his sword. Once it was out of his hand I kicked it away and turned as he suddenly lunged towards me. I spun and hit him on the temple with the pummel of my sword.

"Please, Warden! Connor's not responsible for his actions!" Isolde cried as she got on her knees to cradle Teagan's head in her lap. The undead guards suddenly fell lifeless and out of the corner of my eye I could see Leliana and Morrigan return to the main hall. Alistair was carrying the boy and from the look of relief on his face, he was unharmed. He placed him gently down on the dais beside Isolde.

"Ser Donnall, could you please check all the other rooms in the castle? Even if the boy is unconscious, a few of those things may still remain," I asked the Knight and waited until the hall was clear.

"How did things get so far out of hand, Isolde?" Teagan asked her as he sat up unsteadily.

I watched as her lip quivered and I was quickly running out of patience. "Connor began showing signs of magic," she said softly. "I knew that Eamon would send my only son away to that wretched tower."

"And you thought this would go unnoticed?" Teagan asked her. "Isolde, what were you thinking?"

"I didn't want to lose my son! I thought…if he could just learn to _hide_ what he was, he could remain with me here," she sobbed.

"And by your actions, you are responsible for countless deaths, Lady Isolde," I stated as Teagan stood up slowly with help from Alistair.

"No! It was that mage! He is responsible! He poisoned Eamon! Connor was just trying to bring back his father!" she yelled at me.

"A mage? Here?" Teagan asked as he turned back to her but she quickly shut her mouth.

"His name is Jowan and he was brought here after Lady Isolde began to make inquiries for a mage to come tutor Connor," Alistair informed him.

"I was never told…"

"He was tortured and left to perish while the creatures attacked the village," I added and he turned to me.

"He should be made to pay for what he has done to my husband and to my poor boy," she said heatedly. "He brought the demon here!"

Morrigan snorted as she approached the Arlessa. "The fool mage had nothing to do with the boy's possession."

"You're certain?" I asked her and she nodded.

"I am, Warden," she said and I turned back to Isolde.

"Please Warden, there must be some way we can save him," she pleaded, clutching her child in her arms.

"I'm not about to kill a child if there is some way to save him," I said and looked at Morrigan. "Perhaps the mage has some suggestions."

"You would trust him to be truthful after what he has done?" Teagan asked and I turned to him.

"I do."

He sighed as he looked down at Isolde who was sobbing at his feet. "I'll speak to the mage…"

"No, I think it's best if I speak to him," I said quickly and moved away from the dais. "Do you have a study I can use? Somewhere comfortable?"

"Eamon's study is nearby," he said and looked back at Isolde. "I can't believe she would do such a thing, Warden," he said quietly.

"He is her only child," I said and he sighed. "She would do anything for him."

"I just want this nightmare to be over," he said and I reached out and placed my hand gently on his arm.

"For now, with Connor under control, the people are safe. If we can find a way to help him, we will do it," I reassured him. "For now, I'll consider this a small victory."

I left him to oversee the clean-up of the castle while I made my way back to release Jowan, requesting that he join me in the castle, to which he was hesitant. As I walked back up the steps I could feel the hostile glares I was getting from Hagen as I was now accompanied by another mage. I knew I would need to deal with him sooner or later but for now, I had other issues to address.


	47. Chapter 47

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**47**_

_This is getting us nowhere_, I thought as I looked at those around me. I was still seated facing everyone from behind the Arl's desk. Morrigan was seated in one of the chairs with Isolde seated in the other. Alistair and Leliana were leaning against the back wall, next to the door and Teagan was nervously pacing.

"You're sure there's nothing the…" Teagan started to say and she turned to glare at him. "_Morrigan_ can do for Connor?"

"Other than ensure that the boy does not harm anyone until the Wardens return," she said again in a bored tone of voice. "No."

"And you trust this _blood mage_?" he asked once more.

"He has nothing to lose, Teagan," I reminded him. "Do you honestly think he wants to return to the Tower? Returning him to Kinloch Hold will certainly mean his death!" I looked away from the group, knowing that what I was about to say would convince them that it was our only option. "It's this or use blood magic to help Connor," I said quietly.

"But you said…" Isolde started to say but I cut her off with the wave of my hand.

"I said that going to the tower was our best option for a reason, Lady Isolde," I said, barely disguising my impatience with the woman. "I will not have an innocent life sacrificed when there's a better solution waiting for us at the other end of the lake!"

"I would give my life for my child, Warden! Never doubt me when I say this!" she replied shrilly. I got up and approached her, unsheathing a dagger as I approached her. "Wait…what are you doing?" she demanded when I grabbed her hand to cut a shallow line across her palm and she cried out.

"Think on that, dear lady!" I said and squeezed her hand so that more blood pooled. "Does that hurt?" I asked as she yanked her hand back and I moved closer to her. "Death is much more painful, I assure you. What the mage is suggesting requires the life's blood of someone. The spell does not just call for a little of your blood but _all_ of it!" I said to her quietly. "How will Connor feel, knowing that his actions were what caused your death?" I moved away from her, back towards the Arl's desk. I had caught sight of linen under some papers and reached for it, almost not noticing the sound of something small and heavy hitting the carpet behind the desk. I quickly bound her hand, tying the knot tight.

"Warden!" Teagan started to say as I knelt down in front of her, reaching up to wipe away her tears.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. If there is a way to safely end this, I promise I will do it," I told her and she looked down at me. "Allow us this chance, Isolde. We can cross the lake and be back before the week's end. With the mages help, you can have Connor back the way he was."

"They'll take him from me…"

"I know and I'm truly sorry. But Connor is and always will be a mage," I reminded her reassuringly. "Nothing you can do will change that."

She sighed and squeezed my hand. "Please," she pleaded softly. "Save my son."

I smiled up at her and nodded. "We'll cross at first light," I said and stood. "Alistair, Leliana and I will go. Morrigan will remain here to look after Connor. I think that until all of your Knights are finally recalled to the castle, Sten should remain here to ensure that the village remains safe."

"Certainly," Teagan agreed. "We can use all the help we can get."

"I will ask one of the Templars to be our escort," I added. "It will make our request seem more plausible when we return Jowan to the tower…"

"Warden, I cannot agree to this!" Teagan said and stood in front of me. "He tried to kill Eamon…"

"At the behest of Teyrn Loghain," I reminded him. "I'm certain that they would send some of their own men to retrieve him once they knew he was here. This way guarantees we are granted an audience with the First Enchanter."

"I do not want to sound ungrateful to you Warden…but this man harmed my brother. If and when Eamon is able to, it is within his rights to pass judgment on his fate," he said and I walked closer to him.

"How do you think the Knight-Commander would feel if you deemed to do his job for him?" I asked. "Jowan has harmed your family and wishes to return to the tower to face his punishment. Even you cannot deny him this, Teagan."

He looked down on me and I could see the indecision in his eyes.

"Take him, Warden," Isolde spoke up. "I do not want him within the walls of Redcliffe any longer."

Teagan looked back at her and I knew that I had won. "I will see that the arrangements are set for your travel," he said and looked at me briefly before trying to get past me but I held out my hand to stop him.

"You may hate me now, Teagan," I told him softly. "But what I am doing is for the best. There will come a time for you to decide the fate of a man whose crimes are just as bad as those of Jowan. When that time comes, I hope you think of what it means to take a life."

"I have done what I can to protect this village…"

"The living and the dead are two very different things," I told him softly.

He nodded to me and left the room with Isolde soon following him. Morrigan remained seated as I walked back to the desk and leaned against it. Alistair and Leliana had remained silent through-out the entire discussion but now he moved towards me and stood in front of me.

"Kat…"

"Alistair, I…" I started to say but he stopped me by wrapping his arms around my shoulders, hugging me. I looked over at Leliana and she shrugged her shoulders as he let go just as quickly.

"I know I always question the way you handle things," he said and cleared his throat as he looked away from me. "But I'm glad you decided that the tower was our best choice."

I laughed as his blush deepened and he nervously ran his fingers through his hair, moving back once he realized he was still so close to me. "We still need to solidify our treaty with the mages, Alistair. This way we ask for their help for the Arl and remind them that they signed the treaty with the Wardens to help against the Blight," I said simply. He cleared his throat and laughed.

"I should…go check on Teagan," he said and backed away out of the room.

"And I will go speak to Sten about what has transpired," Leliana said, moving to follow after Alistair.

I turned when I heard Morrigan get up finally and I waited for her to finally say something. "I find it hard to believe that you would trust the word of a blood mage," was all she said.

"He's still a man, Morrigan," I said and watched as she knelt to pick something up off the floor. "If there was a way to save the Arl's son then I am willing to gamble that what he says will work."

"No doubt he's hoping that your speaking with the First Enchanter will grant him some leniency…"

"There's no guarantee that my words will stop the Knight-Commander from executing Jowan as soon as he is back inside the tower walls," I said and looked away from her. "I have tried to convince him that he should remain here or even find some way to escape but he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life running. He's accepted his fate."

"I suppose he's willing to believe _your_ Maker will forgive his use of blood magic," she said and threw something at me. I caught it instinctively but when I looked back up she was gone. I knew from the tone of her voice she disapproved of taking Jowan back to the tower but it was his decision to return. I could only hope that it was one he would not live to regret.


	48. Chapter 48

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**48**_

I stayed up well past midnight to be certain that the undead threat was truly contained now that Connor was dealt with. I stopped in to check on him before leaving the castle, making sure that he was resting peacefully. Lady Isolde was asleep on a chair near his bed and Morrigan was standing by the door with her arms crossed. I knew that she must be tired but she refused to leave the Arlessa alone with Connor. After seeing how she had handled the situation, I knew I was tempted to have her escorted from the room.

I made my way back to the village, knowing that Bella would be waiting up at the tavern and I wanted to be certain that all was quiet before turning in. I passed Sten standing with a few of the castle guards at the bottom of the path that led from the castle and he joined me on my walk back to the village. I could tell that something was on his mind but knew that I should not press him until he was ready to share what was troubling him. I glanced at him while we walked, marveling how quietly he carried himself.

"I must admit I did not believe that you would resolve the issue so quickly, Warden," he finally said when I stopped outside the tavern, walking the wooden boards so that I could survey the now peaceful town. "It seemed uncertain that the village would have survived much longer without your help."

"You played a big part in helping them as well, Sten," I said, crossing my arms as I turned to the warrior.

"Are you certain it's wise for you to leave to the tower of mages?"

"I don't see any other way to completely resolve the issues here at the castle without their help," I said as I looked out once more, this time towards Kinloch Hold that was north of Redcliffe. I had never been to the tower and it was the last place I would ever imagine myself going to but we desperately needed the help of the First Enchanter.

"We cannot help the Arl or his son without the circle's aid," I reminded him. "It is also my hope that despite everything, the mages will be able to honor the treaty they signed with the Grey Wardens to help fight against the darkspawn."

"After all the losses at Ostagar, are you certain the mages will be able to still join you?" he asked.

"I didn't see very many mages at the keep but no, I can't be certain," I said and sighed, my heart clenching at the thought. "We may never know the true magnitude of the losses we all suffered that day at Ostagar, Sten."

He walked closer to me and stood beside me. "Why take the blood mage with you?"

"I believe he regrets his actions and the fact that he's willing to return to the tower shows that he accepts his fate," I said quickly yet without emotion.

"It seems that you do not agree with his decision, Warden," he said and I glanced up at him from the corner of my eye.

"I think it's more than obvious how I feel about mages, Sten," I said and smirked. "My biggest concern will be the Templar that comes with us allows us to complete our task."

"Are you certain you wish for me to remain?"

"I think the village will do well while you are here, Sten," I said and turned when I heard the faint sound of the tavern door opening. I spotted a few men that I recognized from the militia stumble out, with the elf Berwick among them and I remained quiet until they made their way carefully down the path towards the Chantry before turning back to Sten. "I assume Leliana has filled you in on what was said in the castle?"

"Indeed," he said. "Why you would go through with the charade…"

"I need to know what he plans to do next. And most importantly I need to know if he truly was alone," I said as I placed my hand briefly on the warrior's arm. "Get some rest, Sten. I'll see you before we leave in the morning."

"Good night, Warden," was all he said as I walked away.

**-)(-**

Once inside I made my way to one of the corner tables, well away from the remaining town militia that still remained passed out by the fireplace and waited for Lloyd to finally send them on their way. As tired as I was, I thought back to my conversation with Jowan earlier that day, wishing that in some way I was able to help him more. I knew that as soon as he was returned to the tower he would most likely be executed. While I didn't agree with his use of blood magic, I couldn't help but think that things could have gone another way for him.

I had drifted off into a light sleep for a moment while I thought about all the events that happened but woke suddenly when I felt movement near me, startling Leliana when she sat down softly next to me. I quickly put away the small knife I had in my hand.

"Sorry," I said quickly.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she said quietly. "Maker, you are a light sleeper!" she laughed.

"Do you need something, Leliana?" I asked her, watching as she quickly brushed her hair behind her ear and look away towards Bella.

"A thought occurred to me…" she started to say when I cut her off.

"That it might be a Templar we need to watch out for?" She looked at me in surprise and I chuckled. "I was thinking the same thing. I believe that is a question for Ser Perth before we leave tomorrow…"

"I'm also concerned about leaving Morrigan here…not because she is an apostate but because of the Templar from earlier," she said and I nodded.

"You think he will try something again…and I agree," I said as I sat up. "Whoever this man may be, he cannot reach Morrigan while she is in the castle but I fear he may now go after Jowan."

"Surely they will not attempt anything with the Templars watching him…"

"He is the only one that knew about Loghain's plan here, Leliana," I said and looked back at Bella, a plan forming. "I need you to meet me back at the castle in an hour," I told her, hiding a yawn behind my hand.

"You should remain here and rest, Warden," she said, putting her hand up and waving Bella over.

"I'll be fine once this is over. I thank you for your concern," I said and smiled at her. "As for tomorrow, Alistair and I will go to the mages while you stay with Sten and Morrigan."

"Are you sure?" she asked as I rolled my shoulders.

"After what happened here," I said as I leaned back in my seat. "What's the worst that could happen?"


	49. Chapter 49

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**49**_

The stone floor where I waited in the dark on was unbearably cold. I had moved the small amount of foul smelling straw as far away from me as possible to make the small cell as tolerable as possible but it also meant it did nothing to keep my warm. I had long since stopped trying to cease my shivering, to not to move so as to appear as if I were fast asleep. _As if anyone could sleep in these conditions!_ I raged at the thought. I insisted that I should be the one who waited in the cell wearing clothing that was not mine and holding the shackles to appear bound. My one comfort was the blanket Leliana insisted that I keep with me but still the cold seeped into my body. All I could think of was the warm bed that awaited me back at the tavern once this was over.

I closed my eyes and thought of all the winter outings I had had with Fergus and Roderick, riding along the cliffs and feeling the crisp, frigid air coming from the Waking sea. I shook my head slightly, knowing that I needed to let go of the past and concentrate on the here and now. I knew this was a long shot but I hoped that my decision to take Jowan away from Redcliffe in the morning would force his watcher to show himself. And so I continued to wait with my hands never far from my weapon, listening to the rats that could be found scurrying about.

_There!_ I said to myself, turning my head slightly towards the faint sound. I heard movement not far from where I waited and yet still I did not move. It was only a light scrape from boot on the uneven stone here in the dungeons under Redcliffe but it was enough. I waited, seated upright as the chains that I held onto were attached to the back wall and did not allow anyone to find any measure of comfort.

_And now we shall see_, I thought as the light footsteps drew closer. _Whoever he is, he knows his way around this area_, I thought. Hours earlier Leliana and I had scattered bits of rock along the floor as a kind of way of early warning. The fact that he had gotten so close without making a sound showed he had some skill but I was not alone in this. I knew that Leliana was hidden nearby and that she undoubtedly was close behind him.

I knew that whoever tried coming after Jowan would do so during the changing of the watch, during the brief time that he would be left unguarded. It hadn't been easy to convince Ser Perth to allow my plan to take place, knowing that I would be alone in the cell, pretending to be a helpless prisoner. I was thankful that the Bann had long since retired and with all the events from earlier that day he did not wish to disturb him or Lady Isolde. Even Alistair was unaware of what we had planned.

I heard the lock turn and waited, pretending to move sluggishly at having been woken from the sound, chancing a glance at the man who stood at the door to the cell. As I had hoped, the attacker did not want to risk bringing in a bulky crossbow. I waited for the inevitable kick at my lack of movement, moving my leg out and away from me as I heard him unsheathe his sword.

"Worthless mage scum!" he hissed at me. I waited a few more moments before I extended my arms out to stop his downward swing, using the thick chains that I held in my hands. I kicked out as hard as I could with my leg closest to him and heard the satisfying sound of his knee break before he fell. He dropped his sword and was reaching down to his leg, yelling out in pain.

I threw off the blanket and got to my feet, kicking the sword out of his reach as I neared him. I looked up briefly at the light in the doorway, knowing that it was Leliana. I heard as she picked up his weapon and threw it outside of the cell.

"Now," I said as I unsheathed my sword. "What was that about being _worthless_ _scum_?" I looked down at the man to see if I recognized him.

"You bitch!" he yelled up at me. "I'll kill you!"

I shook my head and tsk-ed at him as I lightly placed my foot on his broken leg, adding just enough pressure to make him cry out once more. "Oh, I don't think you'll get that chance ever again," I said and smiled up at Leliana. "Don't you agree?"

"Warden," she said as she peered down at his face. "I believe this is one of the newest Templar recruits."

"And I was so sure it would be Berwick," I said quietly to myself, knowing he could very well hear me.

"The elf?" he laughed and quickly cried out. "He's as useless as the mage! Weren't to do nothing but watch and he joins the bloody militia!"

I smiled down at him. "Thank you ever so much for clearing that up."

"Warden!" Leliana cried as he pulled a dagger and reached out to me. I kicked his damaged knee once more as Leliana struck him on the side of his head with the torch she was carrying. A few of the spraying embers landed in the straw pile near him and on his tunic shirt. He cried out as the material caught fire and I grabbed the discarded blanket, placing it on him to douse the flames. Leliana dropped the torch to stomp out the lit straw before it got out of hand but in doing so, we were left with only the light from a far off torch.

I gagged at the smell of burnt flesh that came off his skin once I removed the blanket. I knelt down and could hear his whimpering, making sure he was still alive. I grabbed the dagger that was on the ground and gave it to Leliana, who was busy searching for something in her pack. She handed me a small vial and I removed the cork with my teeth, lifting up the man's head so I could slowly pour the liquid into his mouth. Now that he was unconscious, I checked him to be sure he had no other available weapons. I found the key he had used to open the cell door and placed it in my pocket.

"He'll be in a lot of pain until we can get a healer here from the tower but this should do for now. Ser Perth and his men should be along soon to take him into custody," I said as I looked back up to her. "Now, I'm pretty sure it's past our bed times, Leliana."

"You're just going to leave him here?" she asked as I stood up and stood before her. "Alone, in the dark."

"It's meant to hold prisoners, Leliana," I reminded her as I walked passed him and locked the door. I could hear the tell-tale sound of heavy armor and knew that we did not have long to wait for someone to guard our newest prisoner. I turned as they drew closer, picking up the sword that the man had carried. I turned and saw the very man that I needed to speak to approaching us with a lit torch. The one Leliana had used had gone out and I had not relished making my way out in the dark.

"Did you succeed, Warden?" Ser Perth asked when he spotted us standing outside the cell.

"Indeed we have, Ser Perth," I said and stood aside so he could peer inside. "Do you know this man?" I asked.

"He's Xanthan, a recent recruit to Redcliffe…" he said. "From Denerim." I handed him the key to the cell. He looked at the sword I held and shook his head when I handed it to him. As I turned to walk away, Leliana cleared her throat pointedly.

"He'll need someone to care for his wounds until we return with a healer, Ser Perth," I said. "Now, if you need me, you'll know where I'll be."

"I'm glad you weren't hurt, Warden," he said as he looked back at the man in the cell.

"I wish I had been wrong," I said as I saw the disappointed look on his face.

"No man is perfect, Warden," he said.

"Perfection is something we strive for but may never achieve," I told him, reaching out and placing my hand on his shoulder briefly. "We can only hope that we do the best that we can."

He gave me a slight smile. "Good night, Warden."


	50. Chapter 50

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**50  
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Early the next morning found me yawning and rubbing at my eyes until I poured a bucket of cold water over my head. With what I had asked Bella to do, I couldn't expect Lloyd to be very happy with heating any for a quick bath. Instead I made do with what was left over from the night before. I looked around the bare room as I dressed slowly, noticing that even with the fire going, it didn't feel the same as it did before. Bella may not have had much but she made it comfortable and I realized then that I missed her. By now she was well on her way to the nearest village to make a crossing similar to the one I was getting ready for. I only hoped she had enough time to get there before us.

When I returned late last night, I found she was already in bed but woke as soon as I snuck in, insisting on bringing me food and wine to make up for the dinner I had missed and water for a bath. I sat her down and spent the next hour explaining that I needed her to gather her things, to ride out early the next morning and why it was so important. Alistair and I were meeting by the docks in a few hours and while it would take her about half a day or so longer to reach us, I was glad when she finally agreed to go. I explained to her that what I asked would be dangerous but there was no one else who I trusted more. I gave her all the coin I felt she would need to purchase provisions for herself and one other person, as well as horses. I watched as she cut her hair as I instructed and tried on the light leather armor I had from my pack before we finally succumbed to sleep once more.

When I woke a few hours later, she was gone, along with everything I placed out for her to take. There was a new plate of fruit left on the table and the water I had not used was still close at hand for my use. I dressed quickly and divided the items in my pack so that I was only carrying the essentials I would need. I knew it would take us at least a full day to sail from Redcliffe to the tower at the other end of Lake Calenhad, so I tried to pack as light as possible, leaving room for the provisions Leliana said she was acquire for the journey. I was only glad knowing that I would not be sick during the entire day we would be stuck aboard the small vessel.

I quietly made my way out of the tavern, listening to Lloyd snore as he was seated in a chair close to the fire with a bottle by his side. The morning air was crisp and helped cheer me as I took a moment to admire the brightening sky with it's the beautiful mixture of colors. I slowly made my way to the docks with a smile upon my face, finding that I was not the last to arrive. Alistair turned and glared at me and I was shocked when he turned his back instead of greeting me. I handed Leliana my extra pack and took the provisions she brought from the castle, adding it to what Bella had left for me. My trusty mabari Darius was resting quietly at her feet.

"Is everything ready?" I asked her, covering my mouth as I yawned.

"We're only waiting for the Templars to bring Jowan, Warden," Leliana said sleepily. She gave Alistair a few side long glances when he continued to keep him back to us and stood with his arms crossed. I was tempted to go push him off the docks when I heard the sound of various sets of heavy armor approaching and I turned to see a large group of Templars approaching us.

"Well," I said once I turned from them to the small boat that would be transporting us to the tower and back to the ridiculous amount of Templars. I wasn't shocked to see that it was Hagen, the Templar who had caused so much trouble for us, leading the men. "This should be fun!"

Hagen approached us with a smug smile on his face but I walked past him to get to Jowan who was surrounded on all sides. "Good to see you again, Jowan," I said as I pointedly ignored the now red faced Templar. "I trust that you slept well last night."

"Yes, very well, my lady," he said quietly.

"Remove his shackles so we can be on our way," I demanded and Hagen laughed.

"I will not," he said and I approached him, looking him directly in the eyes.

"You will release him as I ordered," I said as he looked down at me. I watched as he reached for his weapon before a voice rang out.

"That's enough, Hagen!" yelled Ser Perth, who was now approaching the dock with another Templar. "What is the meaning of all this?"

"We were merely escorting the prisoner for transport," Hagen replied, trying and failing to appear innocent.

"And you needed this many men?" I asked.

"A few would be escorting the mage, of course," he responded, sneering at me.

I turned and looked at the small vessel. "And where would the prisoner go if you and all your men tried to get on that boat? The weight would sink it like a stone!" I joked and watched as he turned to me, ready to argue but Ser Perth got in-between us instead.

"I've assigned this Templar to go with you, Warden," Ser Perth said, trying to hide the annoyance on his face. I was surprised because he looked to be a young, inexperienced recruit.

"You're assigning only one Templar? This mage can hardly be guarded by only one…" Hagen tried to argue but Ser Perth turned to him and stared him down. I was ashamed to admit that I probably would have backed off had he given me that stare as well.

"Nicolas is due to return to the Hold and considering the size of the vessel, he will be the _only_ Templar joining you, Warden," he explained as he turned back to me. "I trust that things will go smoothly."

"You have nothing to fear," I lied. "Even he cannot outrun a mabari," I joked as I gestured to my faithful hound.

"I will not keep you any longer, Warden. There is still much that must be done here with getting the village back in order," Ser Perth said and ordered the rest of the Templars to return to the Chantry. Before he turned to walk away, I reached out and grabbed his arm.

"How is the prisoner?" I asked quietly.

"Still in pain from his burns but he's been moved to one of the servant's quarters to be cared for. With the salves and potions your mage has provided, he can get through the worst of it until a proper healer returns with you," he said and sighed. "I never would have suspected him, Warden."

"I'm sorry things didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped," I apologized once more.

"He went there with the intention of murdering the mage," he said, his voice hardening. "And he would have succeeded if you hadn't convinced me to move him to one of the servant's quarters for the night."

"I hope Lady Isolde didn't hear about the change in his arrangements," I said sincerely, knowing she would have been appalled.

"No, no one knew where he was moved," he said and I looked back at Jowan. "Only he insisted that he be moved back to his cell once Xanthan was discovered."

"I suppose he didn't want any special treatment now that he's going back to the tower," I said and gave a slight smile. "Remarkable."

"Be safe, Warden. I will await your return," Ser Perth said, crossing his arm across his chest and I bowed my head to him.

I turned to speak briefly with Leliana and Sten, would stood silently beside Jowan. The young Templar Nicolas got on the boat easily and helped Jowan who was still shackled. Alistair and Darius followed and I was about to board when Teagan called out to me. I tossed my pack on board and turned back to meet him. I was glad to see that he finally appeared to be well rested now that the castle had been retaken. The dark circles under his eyes from when I had first met him were finally being to vanish.

"I trust you found everything you needed, Warden," he said when he reached me. "Although I could have secured a larger vessel than the one you requested."

"I knew that the more room we had available, the more Templars they would insist on sending with us and frankly, I didn't want to have to explain why we were delayed if I had to step in every minute when it came to my task," I explained. "We need the mages urgently help to both the Arl and Connor but the safety of all of Ferelden rests on whether or not we can gather enough forces to stand against the darkspawn."

"Rest assured that for your help in this matter, the men of Redcliffe and all that have placed their support to my brother will support the Wardens," he said and I bowed my head to him.

"I am glad to hear you say that, Bann," I said.

"Safe journey to you, Warden," he said as he walked me back. "May the Maker bless you."

"And you as well, Teagan," I said as I boarded the vessel, calling out to the pilot to set sail.


	51. Chapter 51

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**51**_

There wasn't much in the way of luxury on the small vessel so I found the one spot I felt I would be out of everyone's way and set down my stuff. I ignored the stares I was getting from the meager crew once they realized I was a woman. I leaned against the railing and stared at the village briefly before plopping myself down next to my pack and rearranged my cloak around me. I drew my knees close to my chest and tried to rest for a bit. I had seen Alistair at the far end of the deck with Jowan and the young Templar, looking out to the far end of the lake. The mage was stretched out and appeared to be following my example, with his handler at ease near him. The rocking of the boat had made it easier for me to fall into a light slumber. A few hours earlier I felt as if no sooner had my head hit the pillow and it was time to head across the lake.

A few hours had passed without incident yet I tensed up when I felt the floor boards' shifted as someone approached me. I never had my hand far from a weapon yet relaxed once more when I sensed that it was only Alistair who had knelt down before me. He had avoided looking at me all morning that I felt I should give him time to either get over what was troubling him or let him confront me when he was good and ready.

"Is something troubling you, Alistair?" I asked without opening my eyes. I could only guess that he had found out about our little adventure the night before in the dungeon and was angry for having been excluded. Leliana commented that it wasn't too late to involve him but I knew it would take more to convince him than it did to get Ser Perth to agree with our plan.

"Damn it, Kat," he said and reached out to move the hood of my cloak away from my face. "You know very well that I'm angry with you!"

I opened my eyes slowly and peered up at him finally as he looked away from me. "Everyone could see that you're angry with me and from the glares you've been giving Jowan," I said as I looked past him to the sleeping mage. _Glad at least one of us is able to get some rest_, I thought as I turned back to Alistair and sighed. "I can only imagine that someone told you about what happened last night in the dungeon."

His face reddened and he squeezed his fist as he leaned closer to me. It was the first time I had ever seen him lose his temper over anything and his reaction surprised me. "YOU should have told me, Kat!" he whispered loudly.

"It was all decided long after you had retired to the castle with the Bann. Leliana sought me out at the Tavern and shared her concerns, which I agreed on," I said as I looked up at him.

"Why you insist on staying there…"

"Because it allows me to come and go as I please, Alistair," I said simply, managing to not mention the benefits I had for staying there as well.

"One of the guards mentioned that the bar _maiden_ left Redcliffe early this morning," Alistair said.

"Bar maiden?" I laughed at his careful wording. "How droll, Alistair, even for you!" I joked. "Bella has been _attentive_ to me these past few days…" I said vaguely and he blushed. His reaction surprised me because I made certain no one had seen us alone together and Lloyd had been well compensated for his discretion.

When he failed to answer I couldn't help but ask. "Maker's breath, Alistair! Are you blushing?" I laughed briefly before continuing.

"I was unsure how to address her…"

"Address her however you want," I smirked. "I advised Bella that it might be best if she left Redcliffe to visit her family."

"You…she…" he stammered and I cut him off.

"Alistair, surely you recall that the best source of information you can find is from what is overheard at the taverns," I said. "Bella had heard rumors about the way into the castle and pointed out that one of the recent outsiders to the village might be a spy!" I informed him.

"Then she's…"

"Nothing to concern yourself over," I lied and hoped that it would take his mind off of what happened last night but I knew that was not meant to be. I only hoped that he would forget about Bella. I knew I couldn't include him in the real reason why I sent her away.

"Still, why involve Ser Perth instead of me?"

"I knew that my decision to take Jowan back to the tower would force whoever was keeping tabs on the mage to act before he was out of their reach. I felt we needed Ser Perth's support once we suspected that it might be a Templar. The only reason he went along with it was to prove our suspicions wrong."

"You should have included me as well, Kat!" he said, reaching out suddenly when the boat swayed heavily in the open waters of the lake.

I blinked when I realized just how close his face was to mine, that if… _Stop it! _I yelled to myself.

"You would have tried to stop me," I said and reached a hand up to push him steadily back away from me.

"Of course I would have stopped you!" he said heatedly, looking away when he realized how close he was to me. "No, I meant…"

"Which is exactly why I didn't seek you out, Alistair," I said angrily. "You would have argued that it was nothing more than an unnecessary risk and when we found Jowan's body the next morning you would try to convince me that it wasn't my fault!" I looked up as he opened and closed his mouth, unable to respond for a moment.

"I would have acted as bait instead," he finally said quietly and I chuckled softly.

"I'm sorry, Alistair, but you wouldn't fool anyone if you pretended to be Jowan," I explained. "You're much too tall and muscular that you couldn't pass for him." I quickly averted my eyes away when he reached out but stopped himself from touching my cheek.

"You're all I have left, Kat," he said softly as he started to move away. "I don't know if I can do this alone. Please, promise me that the next time you plan on doing something so foolish, you'll include me?" he pleaded as he moved away.

I remained silent as he made his way back to the other end of the ship, knowing that there was still so much he couldn't ever know about me. I closed my eyes once more and tried desperately to convince myself that he was better off not knowing who I was or where I came from. In the end, all that mattered was that we stopped the Blight. I could worry about the consequences of my actions once Ferelden was safe once more.


	52. Chapter 52

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**Sorry it's taken so long to post a new chapter. It's been a little busy around here but I haven't forgotten about this story!  
><strong>_

_**52**_

I slept most of the morning on our way to Kinloch Hold, waking only when I realized I was starving. I made my way to where Alistair, Jowan and the Templar recruit Nicolas were seated to pass out some of the bread, cheese and fruit that Bella had left out for me. Nicolas seemed reluctant to partake until his stomach growled and he sheepishly took the bread I offered. When Jowan refused, I looked closely at his pale, sweaty face and reached into my bag for some herbs that I had picked on the way to Redcliffe. As I was handing it to him, Nicolas put his hand out, stopping me from giving it to Jowan. I looked up at him steadily.

"It's obvious he's not used to being on a boat," I explained as I placed one of the dried leaves in my mouth and began to chew. "This will help settle his stomach."

The Templar looked at me and took one of the leaves, sniffing it before placing it in his mouth. Alistair quietly chewed on the remaining bread and cheese, watching us warily but not interfering. When nothing happened, he moved his hand aside and allowed Jowan to take the leaf from me. The mage looked at it briefly before slowly putting it in his mouth as I had and began to slowly chew on it.

"This is only temporary but it will help with the queasiness," I reassured him as I also handed him an apple. "You will need to eat something small soon and I have more herbs if you start to feel ill again."

"Thank you, Warden. I feel much better now," Jowan said finally and smiled briefly at me before taking a tentative bite out of the apple. I placed my hand on his shoulder before I stood up and moved away.

I went and joined Alistair, who handed me the last piece of cheese and some fruit. I took the offered fruit but from the side glance he gave the cheese, I handed it back to him to finish. I still had the provisions that Leliana had packed but I didn't want to exhaust our meager supplies. I didn't want to be stuck without them in case plans changed and what should normally only take a day of travel across the lake turned into something longer. I also knew that it would not last long and from the look of contentment on Alistair's face, I knew that he was enjoying it.

"Where did you learn so much?" he asked when I handed him the skin with fresh water.

I was reluctant to tell him anything about my training but knew that I needed to share something of myself with him.

"From my mother," I said as I looked down at the floor boards. "She taught me about the benefits of different herbs and their uses. It's all I can remember of her before I lost her."

Alistair was silent for a moment, looking off in thought.

"I never knew my mother," he said softly and I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Alistair," I said and looked up at him. "You were trying to tell me something as we approached the village. What was it?"

He looked away. "It's nothing."

"Are you sure? It seemed important…"

I was interrupted by Darius, who lifted his head and woofed at me. I looked up at the darkening sky and got to my feet.

"Captain!" I called and the stoat man I greeted earlier approached me. "Will this delay us?"

"I'm sorry Warden but the waters of the lake can be unpredictable," he said before barking out orders.

"How long?" I asked, thinking this was just the delay I needed.

"It depends," he said gruffly. "I was tasked by the Bann with getting you to the Tower safely. I will not chance it."

"Get us as close to shore as possible. We'll set up for the night if necessary and wait for fairer weather," I said and turned back to my companion. "Looks like we'll need to set up camp."

Nicolas got up and looked around, ready to protest. "Is that wise, Warden?"

"It's not my call," I said as I wrapped my cloak tighter around my face as the first droplets began to fall. "But unless you want to attempt going overboard in the middle of the lake with all that heavy armor, be my guest."

"But the prisoner…"

"Is still shackled and in no position to run, otherwise," I said as I approached them. "He's been constantly at my mabari's side and if he tries to run, Darius will simply track him down."

He looked at me, then down to the dog that was suddenly on his feet before turning away. I watched as we steered to shore, with the rain starting to come down in earnest.

I squatted down next to my mabari and he whined as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You need to stay here, boy," I told him. "We'll never be able to get you back on board otherwise. Be brave and pay attention. Stay where I can see you." Darius nuzzled my neck and I moved back from him.

"Ser Nicolas," I said as I turned to him when we dropped anchor as close to shore as possible. "Remove Jowan's shackles."

"Warden, I cannot…"

"We're as close as we're going to get and he'll need his hands!" I pointed to the choppy water and the crew that was slowly making their way over the side. He relented and removed Jowan's restraints. I looked at Alistair and Ser Nicolas in their heavy armor. "Both of you, don't argue with me! You need to remove your armor or you'll sink like a stone!"

"What about you?" Alistair asked.

"My lighter armor shouldn't be a burden to me," I said as I helped Jowan to his feet.

The men looked at each other before quickly removing their heavy armor. Alistair took my bag as we went over to where the deckhands had made their way down and found the water quite deep. I felt Alistair grab my arm when I lost my footing. We trudged to shore and into the cover of the trees.

I looked down at Jowan, who was exhausted on the wet ground. Nicolas started to walk towards him with the shackles but I took them from him and went to him myself.

"I never thought I would miss the tower so much," he said as he continued to shiver. I was reluctant to use the restraints but I needed to keep up the façade for a while longer.

"It's only for the night," I promised. "And with any luck this will buy me some time," I said as I squeezed his arm.

"Do you think it will work?" he asked as I closed the cuff on his other hand.

"I'm counting on Bella's help in this and the weather should give her the time she needs to catch up to us," I said. "Be patient," I said as I moved away.

I looked up at the unrelenting sky and was silently thankful. It was going to be a long, cold and wet night but it was more than I could hope for. I sank down on the ground next to Alistair with my cloak tight around me, hugged my knees and waited.


	53. Chapter 53

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**Sorry it's taken so long to post a new chapter. It's been a little busy around here but I haven't forgotten about this story!  
><strong>_

_**53**_

It rained steadily into the night. After several failed attempts to light a fire with the damp wood, I knew we were in for a rather long and uncomfortable night. We set up a watch rotation and settled in. I watched the crew keep busy, while I tried to keep from shivering too badly. As soon as we settled in, I removed much of my armor to try to dry off, keeping my cloak as secure to my body as possible. I kept a watchful eye on the boat, wishing there was some way to go back for Darius but knowing there would be no easy way to get him back on board, all I could do was make sure he stayed safe.

The rain finally relented a bit once the sun went down but we decided it best to stay the night and start again early the next morning. Silently, I was thankful for the extra time, hopeful that it meant my plan should work. The only thing left to do was to wait and see.

I picked through the provisions Leliana packed: from cured, dried meats, fruits and nuts that would last longer, to fresher fruit, bread and cheese wrapped properly in cloth. I started to offer out to everyone when I realized that the crew had managed to bring a few of their own provisions…all in bottles of rum. The captain himself opened and gave his bottle to me, which I took a healthy swig of. The men cheered when I passed the bottle down to Alistair.

"Trust me," I said when Alistair seemed hesitant to take the bottle. "It'll keep you warm."

I laughed as he took the bottle and took a much smaller drink from the bottle before handing it back to me. I turned to Ser Nicolas, who was huddled in his cloak staring out at the night sky, and he took it from me. I was surprised when he also took a healthy swig of the bottle before handing it back.

I turned to Jowan, who had barely eaten and I could see he was still shivering.

"Would you like to share a drink, mage?" I asked Jowan. He looked first at Nicolas, who nodded, before taking the bottle from me. He took a small sip and promptly started coughing.

I moved closer to his side and took the bottle from him. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Warden," he said as he coughed again. "I just wasn't expecting it to burn so much!"

"Are mages allowed drink in the tower?" I asked as moved back and settled against a tree, taking another drink from the bottle. I relished the slow burn for a moment before handing the bottle once again to Alistair. This time, he took a deeper swallow, but remained quiet as I leaned against him. Ser Nicolas took the offered bottle from Alistair.

"The Tranquil are quite adept at brewing wine and ale," Jowan said quietly as he took a small bite of the bread he still had in his hand. "It's mostly served to the Enchanters and the Knight-Commander. The apprentices are rarely allowed to drink."

"But this isn't your first drink?" I asked as Ser Nicolas handed the bottle back to me. I tilted the bottle in the mages direction and he hesitated for a second before taking it from me.

"No," he said as he took another sip. "I tried many things after I left the tower. I got drunk for the first time in my life!" he admitted as he passed the bottle back to me.

I laughed and took another swig of the rum. I looked over my shoulder when I heard a soft snore to find Alistair had finally nodded off and Ser Nicolas was wondering off into the trees. It reminded me of my own needs so I ate the remaining bread I still had and excused myself.

I went off in a different direction from where I saw the Templar headed, hoping to be done with my own personal business before he realized that Jowan was left with only a sleeping Alistair. I had finished up and was tying my trousers when I heard a noise from close by. I pulled a dagger out slowly and headed towards it, wishing I hadn't removed my armor earlier. I moved silently, mindful of any branches as I made my way towards the sound I heard when I came upon the young Templar, flattened against a tree.

"I'm sorry, Warden," he stammered and avoided my eyes.

"You should know better than to sneak up on someone, Nicolas," I said easily as I re-sheathed my dagger.

"I…I didn't mean…"

"How old are you, Nicolas?" I asked.

"Twenty," he answered.

"Were you raised by the Chantry, Nicolas?"

He looked at me finally and nodded.

"And you've _never_…"

He looked away and shook his head.

"And you are willing to lock yourself in with dozens of mages, who are unable to interact with anyone else outside the tower?" I asked as I walked towards him. "All those female mages…"

"I would never take advantage…"

"Good," I said. "I would hate so poorly of you, Ser Nicolas."

I walked past him and quickly made my way back to Alistair and Jowan, who were chatting quietly when I sat down. There was finally a small fire going and the crew was chatting on the other side of it. It was a few minutes more before Nicolas rejoined us, avoiding my eyes as he sat unhappily away from us.

"Did you light the fire, Jowan?" I asked when a few of the crew members continued to glance in his direction.

"Yes, Warden," he admitted, stealing a glance at the Templar, who was thankfully too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice.

"That was very kind of you," I said and bowed my head to him. "The fire will be a nice thing to have on a cold night like this. Get some rest, Jowan. We still have a long day ahead of us."

I leaned back against Alistair's shoulder, closing my eyes slowly and hoped for only good dreams.


	54. Chapter 54

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and suggested sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**Sorry it's taken so long to post a new chapter. It's been a little busy around here but I haven't forgotten about this story!  
><strong>_

_**54**_

Well before the sun rose, I awoke to the silence of the camp. I watched as the ship's crew starting to stir and looked around before shrugging Alistair's arm off my shoulder slowly so I could get to my feet. I wandered off, well away from camp for privacy, knowing this might be my last chance until we reach the mage tower. When I was headed back to camp, I came across the captain returning as well.

"You shouldn't be wandering alone unarmed, Warden," he said gruffly as he adjusted his trousers.

"I thank you for your concern, captain," I said as I note the twin daggers at his waist. "But I am always armed."

He gave me a small smile and we walk back to camp together. By now, most of the men were on their feet, gathering their few possessions and dousing the fire. The Templar Nicolas was looking out towards the lake, deep in thought as I made my way back towards Alistair, who was yawning and stretching. I smiled as he ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed at his eyes. I knelt down beside him and picked up what was left of the rum to take a swig. Alistair made a face at me as he watched me swirl the remaining liquid.

"How can you drink that this early in the morning?" he asked and I smiled as he scratched at the stubble on his chin.

"It helps," is all I say.

"With what?"

"The headache you'll have later." I tilt the bottle in his direction. He looks at the bottle in my hand and shakes his head. "Your loss," I say as I pour out the remaining rum into the ground.

I stand and turn to the sleeping form of Jowan, who has is still on the ground, clutching the blanket around him. As I move closer to him, I can see that his skin is shiny and his cheeks are pink with fever.

"Alistair, hand me my bag," I ask as I place my hand on Jowan's forehead. It's warm to the touch and I can feel that he's shaking.

"What's wrong with him?" Nicolas asks as he kneels down on the other side of the mage.

"He's sick but it's nothing too serious," I answer as I search through my bag. I found the vial unharmed and carefully wrapped at the bottom of my bag. "Jowan, you need to wake up," I say as I gently slap his cheek. He squeezes his eyes before slowly looking up at me.

"What is that?" Nicolas asked as I uncorked the vial and put my hand under Jowan's head, lifting it so he could drink the contents.

"It will help bring down his fever," I said as I pour the bitter liquid slowly into Jowan's mouth, careful that he doesn't choke. "He'll need a healer as soon as we reach the other end of the lake. But in his condition, I don't think he should return to the tower. You'll risk the spread of this to all the other mages he comes in contact with."

I could see the doubt in his eyes as he looks down at Jowan, who looks extremely miserable as he turns his head and coughs. Finally Nicolas drops his head and relents.

"This simple trip across the lake has been nothing but a nightmare," he said quietly and I smile at him. I reach out and place my hand gently on his shoulder.

"We'll be there sooner than you know and you can tell the rest of the Templars what a hardship you've had since you've met us Wardens," I laugh as I gently squeeze his shoulder.

From the light coloring of his cheeks, I can tell that he is thinking of our previous conversation. He turns and looks at Alistair briefly before turning back to me. He opened his mouth to say something when the captain interrupted, calling all hands to return to the ship. They had a rope ladder draped over the side and I watched as they used it to climb back on board. I looked down at Jowan and called Alistair over to help get him to his feet. Nicolas took Jowan's other arm from me and together they got him standing.

"Are you sure it's safe to move him?" Nicolas asked when they got him upright.

"We have no choice," I said. "He needs someone who can help him. I've done all I can for now. Try to keep him as dry as possible."

I went ahead of them and asked the captain to gather a plank for Jowan to be carried on as a litter and some rope to help raise Jowan back on board. He seemed hesitant at first but he complied and with the help of the crew men, they hoisted him on board safely. Nicolas and Alistair climbed the rope ladder next so I could hand up my pack and climb unhindered. It was much easier without the armor but the rope dug painfully into my hands.

Alistair and Nicolas moved Jowan to the front of the vessel, away from the busy crew but the captain stopped me as I tried to walk past him.

"What is wrong with the mage, Warden?" he asked. "Should I be concerned for my men?"

"There's nothing to worry on, my good captain. He is only slightly ill from being drenched and having to sleep on the cold, hard ground for the night," I assured him. "Nothing a night in good bed in front of a good fireplace won't cure."

He slowly released my arm. "If you're certain…"

"Jowan is no threat to your men, I assure you," I repeated. "The sooner we can get him off this ship and to a proper healer, the better."

"Of course, Warden," he said as he crossed his arm in front of his chest and bowed his head to me. I bowed my head slightly to him and moved away from him.

-)(-

I had spent most of the morning checking up on Jowan, making sure he ate something small when I gave him more of the bitter medicines that I carried. I knew that his fever would not break until he was off this boat but there was nothing I could really do until that happened. I poured a little of the fresh water we carried onto a clean rag and wiped his face, trying to help with his fever.

A few times I would look up and catch Nicolas and Alistair talking quietly not far from me. I couldn't hear them but whatever they were discussing had caused Alistair to blush and look away. I was sure to hear of it later once this was over but at the moment my only concern was getting Jowan better.

It was early evening by the time we reached the far end of the lake, as close to the small village that sat opposite of the tower. In his weakened condition, I knew Jowan would be unable to get very far on his own. I asked the captain for the use of the board he used to hoist the mage on board this morning so we could carry him to the nearest inn.

"Will you remain here, captain?" I asked as I watched Alistair and the Templar Nicolas carefully carry Jowan off the vessel and onto the docks.

"Aye, Warden," he replied. "The Bann himself has paid handsomely for us to ferry you safely here and back. After what happened at Redcliffe, I'll gladly wait if someone can finally help the Arl."

I bowed my head to him and placed my hand on his shoulder as I passed him with my mabari. As soon as Darius disembarked, he turned round in circles and barked happily. I laughed as I joined him, reaching down and petting him.

"I'll try not to keep you waiting too long, captain," I said before rushing to join Alistair and Jowan who were already far ahead of me.

The small village was quiet as we approach and I was surprised to see so few people out and about. I worried that something might have happened here as well until we made our way into the only inn called The Spoiled Princess. A hush fell on everyone as Alistair and Jowan came in carrying Jowan. I was thankful that his robes were well covered by a blanket as I approached the innkeeper to inquire on some rooms we might use during our stay here.

"You're in luck," the innkeeper said gruffly. "I only have two rooms left, but one of them only has the one bed. Looks like two of you will be sharing." I laughed as Alistair began to blush and reached into my coin purse to pay the innkeeper. "It'll be extra for the mabari."

I frowned slightly as I tossed another coin to the innkeeper and turned to Alistair and Nicolas.

"Take him upstairs," I told them. "Either room is fine."

I watched as they made their way carefully up the stairs, ordering a pint of ale while I waited.

"What's wrong with your friend there?" the innkeeper asked finally when he returned with the pint.

"We got caught in the downpour while crossing the lake," I lied before drinking the warm ale. "You see, he has a rather delicate disposition that no one has been able to properly cure. I was hoping to ask if the First Enchanter could see him."

"You'll have no luck there," a man said as he approached where we were standing. "The Knight-Commander has taken control of the only ferry boat to the tower."

"Did he give a reason?" I asked as I turned to him.

"He doesn't have to," the man said and sighed. "I just wish he didn't have to give control of my poor boat to some bloody Templar."

I motioned to the innkeeper to bring the man another drink as I turned to him. "Were you the ferryman?"

"Aye," he said and sighed. "Names Kester."

"Well, Kester," I said as I paid for both drinks. "I will see about getting your boat back."

"But the Knight-Commander said…"

"Don't worry," I smiled as the ferryman took the new ale. "I can be quiet persuasive." I winked at the older man. "Now, what was the name of that Templar…"

Kester laughed. "He called himself Carroll," he said before taking a drink. "We'll see about that. He hasn't taken one person across that wasn't wearing a Templar uniform."

I watched as Alistair and Nicolas came slowly down the stairs. "I think I can manage," I assured him. "Make sure my friend isn't disturbed," I said as I handed a few more coins to the innkeeper.

Nicolas and Alistair joined me as I was finished up the weak ale and ordered another.

"How is he?" I asked.

"Still very pale and his fever seems to have worsened," Alistair said. "I don't think he'll be able to cross the lake in his condition."

"He'll have to stay here while we go across and get the First Enchanter," I said. "And that might take a while since something seems to be going on at the tower as well."

"We can't just leave him here!" Nicolas insisted as the innkeeper brought me a fresh tankard.

"Jowan is very ill," I reminded him. "Unless we bring a healer to him, he may _die_. I've done what I can for him but if his fever persists then there is nothing more that can be done for him. He can barely move in his present condition. At this point our best option is to leave my mabari here with him."

"Then I'll stay with him…" Nicolas started to say but I interrupted him.

"I'm sorry but that's just not possible," I said as I placed the ale down. "Something is going on at the Circle Tower right now. It must be absolutely dire for the Knight-Commander to halt all passage to and from the tower."

I could see the worried look on Nicolas' face. On one hand, he could do his duty and drag Jowan to the tower in his weakened condition. But on the other, knowing something might be going on with his fellow Templars…

"We leave for the tower immediately," he decided. "The mage can stay but he should have a guard with him at all times."

"I've already arranged that with the innkeeper," I said softly. "Only I didn't mention that he was a mage. These people already look distrustful of us and I don't want to come back to find Jowan strung up because of what he is."

I knew that Nicolas was still struggling with his decision to leave Jowan when he needed to be returned to the tower. I was just glad that he could see the benefits of all I was saying.

I excused myself and went to check on Jowan one last time. I had set aside all the medicines he would need while we were gone and only hoped that Bella was near enough to get him out before we returned from the tower. I placed the vials within his reach and made sure he was covered before I closed his door.

I walked downstairs with a determined look upon my face.

"Let's go," I said when I reached my companions. "Jowan doesn't have very much time."


	55. Chapter 55

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**Sorry it's taken so long to post a new chapter. It's been a little busy around here but I haven't forgotten about this story!  
><strong>_

_**55**_

"Are you alright, my love?" I heard a deep voice ask and felt several gentle pats on my cheek. I groaned as I squeezed my eye lids before opening them slowly, blinking several times to try to clear the fuzziness from my head, unsuccessfully. My body felt sore and my shoulder felt bruised. I couldn't recall how I ended up in such a state in the first place.

"What happened?" I asked as I tried to turn my head, taking in the small elegant bedroom and the cold stone floor that I was lying on. "Where am I?"

"You fainted," a female voice answered from close by and I turned when I recognized it. "We need to get you on your feet before you ruin your lovely dress, my dear. Your mother would be so disappointed after she had it specially made for you, for just this day."

"Oriana?" My voice cracked as I looked at her as I leaned forward and threw my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"Dearest sister," she said softly and laughed. I moved back and touched her face, running my fingers through her hair to repair the damage I had caused by my outburst. I then looked down to see the beautiful white dress she mentioned and tried to recall even putting it on.

"Are you quite alright, my love?"

_**Duncan!** _

My heart stopped as I realized it was his voice I heard as I woke up just now. I looked up slowly, taking in the unbelievable sight before me. He reached his hand out to me and I hesitated a moment before reaching out to him. He gently but firmly grasped my hand as he pulled me to my feet. I moved closer to him and slowly put my arms around him, pressing my face to his chest and breathing him in. My eyes filled with tears and I clutched at the back of his tunic, unable to believe that this was real.

"Is she alright?" Oriana asked, placing her hand lightly on my back as I began to quietly sob in his arms. She pulled softly on the folds of the dress, straightening it while I pressed my face into Duncan's shirt.

"She'll be fine," he said reassuringly. "Please, just give us a moment alone. And tell everyone we'll be ready to start the ceremony shortly."

Oriana patted my back before leaving us alone, closing the door behind her. I cried in his arms for several minutes as he rubbed my back and spoke to me gently as I held onto to him tightly. Something in the back of my mind was nagging at me that this somehow wasn't right but I didn't care. The thought that I had him in my arms once more was all I cared about.

Finally I took a step back and looked up at him. Everything about him was as I remembered him. I gently reached up and touched his face, running my fingers over his eyes, his cheeks and his lips. "How is this possible?" I asked hesitantly and he laughed.

"Don't you remember?" he asked as he cupped my cheek. "We won that day at Ostagar. Our overwhelming forces turned the tide and we defeated the darkspawn. And now the King is here to keep his promise to walk you down the aisle since your father cannot with his injuries."

I looked at him blankly and he cupped my cheek, smiling softly at me. "You **do** still want to marry me, don't you?" he asked playfully.

"Of course! How could you ever doubt that?" I said quickly as I reached out to him. Still something he said nagged at me. "We won?" I asked as I touched the wet patch I left on his shirt.

"Yes, we did," he said and took my hand. "I was so proud to stand beside you in battle."

This time it was his words that seemed to cause me a small amount of pain, a sort of ringing sensation in my head that I could not explain. I had images of the battle at Ostagar, with newer ones overlapping my own memories what I recalled that I couldn't quite remember happening. They felt too fresh in my mind and I reached up a hand to press on my temple, to will away the pain I was feeling.

"But you sent me with Alistair to light the beacon," I started to say. I recalled my anger from being separated from the others when all I wanted to do was fight beside him. I recalled feeling betrayed at being held back from the battle below, no matter the danger of what we were about to face and that Alistair had shared that same feeling. But we had gone because Duncan commanded us to do our duties as Wardens. We had gone to make him proud of us.

"And after the two of you disobeyed my orders and joined us in the valley down below," he finished. "The two of you were reckless but you saved Cailan's life, rushing in when way you did. You saved me as well."

I looked at him, trying to piece it all together, as he leaned down and kissed me. A lovely feeling came over me that I had never stopped being here with him. His arms tightened around me and I reached up to pull at his hair, not caring that his beard was rough and was scratching my mouth and chin.

He pulled back to catch his breath but pressed his face to mine and kissed my cheek. I looked at him as I tugged at his shirt, reaching under so I could place my hands directly on his skin. "Everyone is waiting for us downstairs, my love," he reminded me.

"Let them wait," I said as I trailed my fingers down his abdomen. "This day is for us," I reminded him. I kissed him again, feeling his lips smile against mine.

"What about your dress?"

I turned and noticed the comfortable chair in the room and smiled. "We'll just have to be extra careful," I said as I looked up at him. "Surely you can control yourself for just a little bit of fun."

"As my lady commands," he said playfully.

**-)(-**

"I see that this is most likely going to be a common occurrence with you, sneaking away when people are waiting for us," Duncan smiled as he kissed me. "I'll go on ahead and explain as best as I can why we were late to our own wedding."

"Let them draw their own conclusions," I said as I stopped him and adjusted his shirt, wiping my palm across his shoulder. "Will Alistair be joining us later?" I asked him as I turn back to the mirror to try to fix the damage done to my hair.

"Unfortunately he couldn't get away from the Keep to join us," he said as he laid a soft kiss on my bare shoulder. "Now that he's taken over my duties as the Warden Commander, I don't know how often he will make his way here to Denerim to see us," he said, smiling still.

I stopped brushing my hair long enough to turn and look at him. "Surely he would have wanted to be here with us," I commented.

"Of course he wanted to be here," he said quickly. "He just wasn't sure exactly when he could get away."

"Alistair thinks the world of you, Duncan," I said as I turned back to the mirror. "I can't imagine you would agree to have the ceremony without him."

Duncan moved to stand behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Listening to you now makes me wonder if you didn't go and fall in love with him during the short time you were together."

I blushed as I made a face at him in the mirror. "I didn't know you were a jealous man, Duncan," I said as I turned to him. "I'll have to keep that in mind if he ever comes to visit."

"What am I supposed to think when he gives you such personal trinkets?" he asked, fingering the locket I wore. I looked down at the small pendant, unaware that I had it on.

"No need to worry, my love," I said as I got up on tip-toe to quickly kiss him on the lips. "He's not the one standing beside me on the most important day of my life."

"No, he's not," he said and touched my cheek. "I'll wait for you downstairs in the main hall below us. Cailan will wait for you at the bottom of the stairs."

"I'll try not to keep them waiting much longer," I promised as he walked out the door.

I brushed my hair until I was satisfied it would be presentable and turn slowly in front of the mirror. Looking around, I felt happier than I had ever felt in my life. But for some reason every time my eyes landed on the small locket at my throat, I couldn't help but feel that something was entirely off with it all.

I walked slowly to the door and pulled it open to find a blond haired elf standing on the other side of the door holding a bouquet of roses. While I didn't think there was any reason for me to recognize her, I had kind of hoped to see Mirabelle instead.

"Your flower's, my lady," she said as she curtsied to me. I took the small arrangement from her and smelled them, recognizing them as coming from my mother's garden at Highever. Yet there was a slight hint of smokiness hidden by the floral scent that didn't quite belong. "Is there something wrong?"

"I'm not sure," I said as I looked at her. "Do these roses smell like smoke to you?"

"Smoke, my lady?" she asked as I brought them up to my nose once more only now I could not distinguish it.

"Never mind," I said slowly. "It must be my imagination."

"This way," she said and indicated she wanted me to follow her but instead I walked to the balcony railing and leaned against it.

I looked down to the floor below, spying my family seated and waiting for me. I smiled as I saw little Oren running up and hugging my mother. "They're all just waiting for me," I said softly.

"Yes, my lady," the elf said as she returned to my side. "Almost everyone you love is here."

I turned and looked at her, wondering at what she meant by that. I scanned the hall once more and noticed that I did not see Fergus or even Roderick amongst those gathered. "No, they're not all here," I agreed with her.

"If I may be so bold, my lady," she said and I turned to her. "Is it not strange that your fellow Warden is not with you?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought about what she said. "No, it makes perfect sense," I said as I turned from her.

"Does it?" she asked as she reached out to touch the pendant that I wore. "This just seems too perfect to share without a man that meant so much to both you and your beloved."

I looked down at those assembled in the hall. "It is perfect," I said slowly as I backed away from the railing. "It's what I wanted."

"It's what you dreamed, is it not?" she asked and I looked to the staircase, knowing that Cailan was waiting for me to just walk down.

"It is," I admitted as I looked around me. "A perfect day with those that I…_lost_."

"But how are they lost, my lady," she asked as she approached. "When they are all here with you?"

"Is something wrong, Katriel?" Cailan asked as he ascended the staircase.

I turned to him. "What did you say?"

He paused as he looked at me in concern. "Is something wrong?" he asked again.

"What did you call me?" I asked as I looked at the elf.

"Kat, what's the matter?" he asked as I backed away from him.

I lifted as much of the skirt as I could and ran in the opposite direction, down a different hallway that I recalled from my childhood. I could hear Cailan running after me but even in the dress, I was faster than him in his heavy armor.

"This way!" the elf called to me and I followed her down a different hallway, deeper into the castle.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as she paused in front of a tapestry, moving it aside to reveal a hidden door. I closed the door behind, just in time to hear several men rushing past. "What's going on?"

"Why did you run, my lady?" she asked. I looked at her and noticed that her demeanor had changed and was different from any of the palace servants I had met in the past.

"Because this isn't right," I said as I tried to make sense of it all. "None of this is right!" I started pacing in front of the closed door.

"What is that last thing you remember?" she prompted.

I stopped and closed my eyes. "Convincing a Templar that it was in his best interest to take us to the Circle tower," I said slowly. "I remember speaking to the Knight-Commander Greagoir that we needed to speak to the First Enchanter Irving, to see if he would return with us to Redcliffe."

"Then how did you end up here?" she asked, forcing me to continue.

"The tower was in chaos when we arrived," I said. "Blood mages were attacking the Templars and the Knight-Commander wanted to annul the Circle. I convinced him that it was important that we try to save Irving at all cost and we volunteered to go in ourselves. We met found Wynne once more, a mage I met at Ostagar."

"What else do you recall?" she asked and I felt her hand on my arm as a tear spilled down my cheek.

"Duncan, Cailan, and my family," I said as more tears flowed down my face. "They can't be here…because they're all dead."

"Open your eyes, Warden," the elf said.

I opened my eyes and noticed we were no longer in the castle, in Denerim. The landscape was bare and foreign, like nowhere I had ever been to before and I was back to wearing armor instead of the gown from earlier. I even carried my pack with me.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"This is the Fade," the elf said. "You were trapped here by a demon. You must find your companions and leave this place as quickly as possible, Warden."

"How can I trust you?" I asked as I turned to her. There was something about her that I found familiar yet I know I had never met her before.

"I could have just as easily left you to your dream," she said and I turned away from her.

"What would have happened to me if I stayed?" I asked.

"You would have died," she said. "You will all die should you decide to stay."

"None of it was real?" I asked slowly.

"I know you wanted it to be but the demon looked into your heart and let you see what you desired most," she said and hung my head briefly. "Your lost love would not want you to mourn him the way you do, Warden."

"But my brother and cousin…" I thought. "They were not there! Could that mean…"

"That I cannot tell you," she replied honestly. "Because you do not know their fate, they did not show up here for you."

"Where are the others?" I asked as I turned back to her.

"They're all here, scattered inside their own dreams, such as you were," she said and walked up to me. "This will help you find your fellow Warden." She gently touched the pendant I still wore around my neck.

"What about Wynne?" I asked as she walked away from me.

"It would make things easier for you if you had something of hers, or at least something that might help you think on how to find her," the elf said.

I thought about the key I got from the prisoner at Ostagar and found in still hidden away in my pack. "This might help," I said as I palmed it. "Now to figure out how to find Nicolas…" I said noticed that the elf remained quiet. "Tell me, what happened?"

"The Templar you speak of was injured badly when he came here," she said slowly. "He did not last long on his own."

"How…"

"His was not the dream you found yourself in, Warden," she said slowly. "His was a recurring nightmare he's had since he was a child," she explained.

"_Nicolas_," I said softly to myself. I looked at her finally and nodded. "Thank you for your help," I said finally, knowing that there was still so much left to be done.

"It was my pleasure, Warden," she said. "Now, think of your companions and convince them as I convinced you before you're trapped here."

"What about you?" I asked. "What will happen to you?"

"I can never leave here, I'm afraid," she said softly. "So I stay to help others such as you."

"There must be a way," I said and she smiled sadly at me.

"Don't worry about me," she finally said. "I'm waiting for someone. Only let me give a bit of advice: do not lose yourself in this web of deception that you have created. Remembering who you were is what set you free," she said. "Now go!"

"Wait!" I said and turned to her one last time. "Who are you?"

"You of all people should know who I am," she said softly as she walked away from me.

I closed my eyes and griped the pendant in my hand, thinking hard of Alistair, whispering his name to myself and hoping that where ever he was, he was safe and we could leave this place together.


	56. Chapter 56

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**56**_

I somehow knew that whatever I did, it worked. As soon as I closed my eyes and concentrated on finding Alistair, the air around me seemed pressurized and howled against me. When it stopped, I opened my eyes and felt dizzy at the sudden change in environment. Thankfully my head didn't hurt like it did the last time I woke. The day was overcast and the air was chill and damp. I now found myself standing next a wooden building and by the sounds and smells coming from inside, I knew it was a stable. I looked around and realized that I was now in the training area at what could only be Redcliffe. But somehow I knew it wasn't exactly the same castle that I had been in.

I looked down at the muddy ground and saw that I was wearing a long dress, one that I had seen the servants wear long ago. I immediately lifted the skirt so it did not drag in the mud as I stood there and wondered why thinking of Alistair would bring me to this place. My only conclusion is that there was something here in his past that he was reliving but there was just too much about him that was still a mystery to me. I needed to find him quickly and convince him that whatever this was to him, it wasn't real and I needed his help to break free from whatever was keeping us trapped here.

I heard the slightest noise and looked around for its source. I could see people running around closer to the servant's quarters and thought it might be best if no one saw me. I could tell they were searching for someone but I could not make out the name being called. I made my way carefully closer to the stable and tripped on the long skirt.

"Andraste's ass!" I said under my breath as I looked down at all the mud that now covered most of my legs. This time, I heard the slightest giggle coming from inside the barn. I inched my way closer, ignoring my ruined dress as I looked through the slates and spotted a pair of small brown eyes staring back at me, before moving away. I got up and walked to the open door of the stables, quietly making my way inside. The dirt floor here was damp and covered in straw, which made walking easier for me in the simple shoes that covered my feet. I was careful where I placed my feet as I made my way towards where I had seen the person hiding in one of the stalls. I stopped at the only empty one and spotted the small huddled form of a child in the dark corner.

"It's alright," I said as I dropped to my knees and help my hand out. "Come out, little one."

"Are you a witch?" a small voice asked me from inside the stall.

"Now who's been telling you stories about witches?" I smiled as I asked.

"My Nan told me all about witches!" was the reply.

"No," I laughed. "I'm not a witch. Just a plain woman."

For a few moments the child remained in the corner before slowly crawling out towards me. I couldn't distinguish anything of the child until he made his way closer to me. He was no older than 5 years old and he was filthy. He was covered from head to toe in mud and I hid my smile behind my hand as he approached me pitifully.

"I didn't mean to get so dirty," he said and sniffled. "I just wanted to play with the mabari."

I smiled down at him as he came closer to me and I instinctively wrapped my arms around him. "Hush, little one," I said as he began to cry quietly. "It's alright." I patted his short hair and rubbed his back, rocking him back and forth until he quieted. "It's not so bad. We'll just take you back to the castle and get you all clean," I promised as I wiped his face with the cleanest part of my skirt.

He moved back slightly and looked at me, rubbing the tears from his eyes. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"Why wouldn't anyone be nice to you?" I asked as I placed my hand gently on his cheek.

"Because I'm a bastard," he said and I stiffened. He looked at the floor and waited for me to agree with him.

"Who taught you that word?" I asked as I placed my fingertips under his chin and moved his face to look at me but he avoids meeting my eyes.

"The Arlessa," he said softly.

"Maker's breath," I said to myself. "Do you know what it means?" I ask him and he nods.

"It means I'm not wanted," he answers and I pull him close to me again.

"Don't listen to Lady Isolde," I tell him as he wraps his small arms around me. "I think I'll need to have a talk with the Arlessa," I say softly as I rub his back.

"No one says anything back to the Arlessa," the child says into my hair. "She'll have you punished if you do!"

"Don't you worry about me," I said as he moved back from me. "I'll be just fine. Now, let's see about getting you into a nice warm bath and forget about any of this ever happened, shall we?"

"It doesn't matter now," he said sadly. "I was supposed to have an important visitor today. By the time I'm clean and dressed, he'll be gone."

"Don't think that way," I said as I dried the tears from his face. "I'll make sure you're clean and presentable. All we need to do is hurry."

I stood up and picked him up easily, carrying him out of the barn and towards the steps of the castle. I put him down once we were past the mud and tried to make my skirts as presentable as possible when the scene changed around me. It was now warm and the sky was now clear. I looked around and saw that the ground was no longer muddy.

It took me a moment to realize that the hand that I held was no longer that of a small child. I looked down at an older boy but with the same light brown eyes as the child I had just spoken to in the stable. As I looked around, I noticed I was in the same long dress as before, only I was no longer covered in mud.

"I'm going to have a special visitor today," the boy said calmly.

I looked down at him and despite his quiet demeanor I could tell his heart was racing. "Another special visitor?" I asked as I smiled at him, hoping it would help calm his nerves.

"He didn't stay last time," he replied. "He can never stay for very long."

"I'm sorry we missed him last time," I said as I placed my hand lightly on his head. "But we're ready for him this time, aren't we?"  
>"Is it bad that I don't want to see him?" he asked as he looked up at me, squinting in the bright sunlight.<p>

"And why don't you want to see him?" I asked as I knelt down beside him.

He looked out in the direction of the raised portcullis and furrowed his eyebrows. A dry breeze had started up and messed up his nicely combed hair. "Why do I want to see him?" he said stubbornly. "He doesn't have to pretend that he cares for me."

"Who doesn't have to pretend?" I asked him as I reached out and fixed his hair.

"Him," was all he said. I looked up as two figures rode towards us. As much as I tried to focus on them, I couldn't make out their faces even as they entered the courtyard but I could tell that one of the riders was a young man. "It's not as if I'm as important as his real son. I'm nothing to him!" he said and I grabbed his arm.

"Has the Arlessa been telling you things again?" I asked and he looked away from me.

"No," he said finally. "One of the stable boys was calling me names. I told him he didn't know what he was talking about," he said and his voice wavered. "But he did know! And the Arl punished him for explaining to me why I'm not wanted!"

"But you are wanted," I said as I gently touched his cheek. "The Arl didn't have to keep you here with him if he didn't care for you."

"The Arlessa is telling him to send me away," he said softly. "She says that the Chantry should raise me instead."

"The Arlessa is a horrible woman who needs to learn to keep her mouth shut," I mutter softly to myself. The Arl appeared at the bottom of the steps and called out to the boy. He sighed and started to head down the steps dutifully.

I watched as he made it half way down the steps and suddenly disappear. I blinked and found myself now in one of the servant's quarters in the castle with the now distraught boy sobbing at my feet. He had his arms wrapped around my waist and I had my hand on his back, trying to soothe him.

"What's happened?" I asked, trying to not feel so disoriented over the quick change in environments once again.

"The Arl is sending me away tomorrow!" I could barely make out his words as he gripped me even tighter.

"Are you certain?" I asked, unable to find the proper words to comfort him.

"He told me that he thought it was for the best," he sobbed and looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. "I knew the Arlessa would finally get her way!"

"I'm so sorry," I said as I gently touched his cheek. I felt as tears also filled my eyes and ran unbidden down my cheeks.

He looked up at me and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Are you certain you're not a witch?" he asked as he looked at me. "You never seem to change."

"You have nothing to fear from me," I said as I quickly wiped the tears from my face.

"Then are you my mother?" he asked as he reached out and touched the small pendant I still wore around my neck.

"Why would you…"

"The Arl showed me a necklace just like the one you're wearing," the boy answered. "He said it belonged to my mother."

"Haven't I always worn this necklace?" I asked him.

He scrunched his mouth as he thought about my question. "I suppose you have," he said. "And I broke the one he showed me."

"Now why would you do that?" I asked.

"Because no one wants me!" he said. "Why do I want her stupid necklace as a reminder that she didn't want me?"

"Don't you think you'll want it later on?" I asked him as I carefully took it off. "When you get older and think back to the mother you never knew?"

"I don't…"

"Here," I said as I placed it around his neck. "I actually do think this belongs to you."

"How did you end up with this?" Alistair asked as he looked down at the necklace.

"Morrigan found it in the Arl's study before we came to the Tower," I said and smiled at him.

"Where are we?" he asked as he looked around.

"Do you trust me?" I asked him as he moved away from me and we both stood.

"Of course I do, Kat," he said and I smiled.

"Then close your eyes," I said as I closed my own.

The servant's quarters faded around us and when I opened my eyes, we were in the blank landscape once more. I reached out and touched Alistair's arm, letting him know it was okay for him to open his eyes. He spun around before turning back to me.

"Where are we?" he asked. "What happened?"

"What do you remember?" I asked him instead.

"Everything's a little fuzzy," he said slowly. "Wait, where's Wynne? And Nicolas?"

"We need to find Wynne first," I insisted, not sure how he would respond when I told him there was no way for us to help Nicolas now. I rummaged into my bag and took out the key. "With her help, maybe we can finally break free."

"What good will a key do?" he asked as I stopped and closed my eyes. "I don't see any doors around here."

"It's not exactly for a door," I said as I looked at the pendant that I placed around his neck. "It's mainly to help me focus on reaching her."

"Where exactly are we?" he asked.

"We're stuck in the Fade," I answered finally. "The last thing I remember was facing a demon in one of the rooms at the Tower and woke up here in a dream, similar to what you were experiencing."

"How did you break free?" he asked. "I felt like I was stuck in a loop, reliving those days over and over again."

I hesitated before answering. "I'm not exactly sure," I lied. "But somehow everything just seemed a little too perfect."

"I'm sorry you had to help me. I might not have broken out if you hadn't come along," he said as he reached out and touched my shoulder. "Thank you."

"You would have done the same for me," I said and held out my hand to him. "Now clear your mind and focus on Wynne."

"Wait," he said as he eyed the item in my hand. "That's not the same key, is it? The one the prisoner gave you in exchange for food?"

"The very same one," I said and looked down at it. "I was going to give it to Wynne at Ostagar but never got a chance."

"Ugh! I'm not touching that!" he said and crinkled his nose. "I know where's it's been!"

I turned and faced him. "I just picked you up, covered in mud and you're worried about this key?"

"Well…" he said as he looked away, his cheeks starting to pink.

"You do realize you were hidden in a horse stall, right?" I asked and looked at him. "There was more than just simple mud of the ground." I held my hand out to him once more.

He made a face at me as he chuckled. "Point taken."

He looked down at my hand before taking it and closed his eyes.


	57. Chapter 57

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**57**_

I took a deep breath just before I closed my eyes, adjusting myself to the pressure that I felt last time. When I opened my eyes, I was disoriented as I looked at my surroundings but what truly caught me off guard was seeing Alistair leaning into me with his eyes closed. His arms were extended and his palms were gripping the bookshelf behind my head. Quickly seeing that he was wearing a bright, heavy armor, I reached up and slapped his cheek to snap him back to the present.

"Hey!" he said as he opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Do you mind?" I asked as I easily ducked under his arm.

"Wait," he said, clearing his throat as he lowered his arms and moved back. "Look, we're back! This is the library of the Circle tower."

"Yes, I know," I said as I looked down. "But we're still trapped."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked.

"Because last I checked, you weren't a Templar," I said as I turned to him. "And I'm certainly not a mage."

Alistair looked down and noticed the armor before looking up to see that I was in fact, wearing robes. I pulled at the material of the dress and fidgeted as he looked at me closely for a few minutes longer.

"How are we even supposed to find Wynne?" he asked when he noticed that I was starting to get angry with him.

"She has to be close by," I said as I turned from him and peered through the books. "That's how I found you."

"Yes but I didn't recognize you right away," he said as he stood close beside me. "Not dressed the way you were."

"It took me a while to realize who you were as well," I said and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. "Were you always such a trouble maker as a child?"

Alistair laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "How else was I supposed to amuse myself?"

"Being covered in mud is amusing?" I asked, arching an eyebrow and shook my head. "Boys," I mumbled as I looked around the library once more.

"Wait," Alistair said as he leaned closer to the shelf. "Something about that woman seems familiar somehow."

I turned and looked at the woman he was pointing out and realized why I had overlooked her. She had her long light brown hair down and was much younger, more intense than the Wynne I had met not that long ago. I walked as close to the end of the book aisle as I dared and peeked out at her.

"Wow," I said as I turned back to Alistair. "Wynne was…"

"Beautiful," he said quietly and I smiled at him.

"I'll be sure to tell her you said that if we make it out of here," I said and laughed when he started to blush.

"That doesn't explain what we're looking for," he said, trying to get past his admission.

"There's something here in her past that Wynne regrets," I said as I looked out at her once more. From here it seemed perfectly obvious that she was getting frustrated. "And I'm betting it's him."

Alistair looked back to the table where Wynne was standing, to the sulky young elf she was speaking to sternly. "Why would you say that?"

"Call it a hunch," I said as I watched her waving her arms in frustration.

"Looking at her now, it's hard to believe that she's the same Wynne that we know," he said as we watched her drop a book down heavily on the table.

"People can change, Alistair." I decided. "I'm going to go over and try to see what she's so worked about."

"Not on your own," he said and I looked at him.

"Alistair, you do realize that dressed like that, you're just going to draw more attention to us," I said and patted his arm when I thought back to how we ended up here. "And if I recall, Templars weren't allow to fraternize with mages, right?"

"It's forbidden…"

"Good!" I said and slapped him loudly. "Now walk away while rubbing your cheek and I'll explain later."

I smiled at him as he did what I said. I took a deep breath as I walked out from behind the bookcase, sitting down at the nearest table and pretended to calm myself. As I had hoped, Wynne had heard the commotion and had seen Alistair walking away from where I had been standing.  
>"Are you alright?" she asked as she approached me. Her facial expression had changed from frustration to deep concern.<p>

"Just a little startled," I said as I looked up at her. "I wasn't expecting the Templars here to be…"

"Not all of them are like that," she said.

"That's good to know," I said. "I'm sorry to interrupt you."

"That's fine," she said as she took the seat in front of me. "I'm not feeling like myself today."

"He seems like a promising pupil," I said as I turned to watch him.

"He could be if he just applied himself more," she said and closed her eyes. "He's having problems the simplest fire spell!"

"If you ask me," I said and I pointed back at him. "He seems to be doing just fine."

Wynne turned to see him light a few of the candles that were in front of him. He turned away from her scowling when he noticed she was staring at him.

"I'm not surprised that he could do it," she said as she gave a slight smile. "I just wish he would listen to what I'm trying to teach him!"

"A wise woman once told me that sometimes you need to let a child learn at their own pace," I said as I turned to her. "The more you try to force them, the more stubborn they become. And the more you push them, the more they will hate you for it, even if it's for their own good."  
>She smiled once more. "And who told you that?"<p>

"My mother," I said softly.

"A very wise woman," she said. "Excuse me."  
>She got back up and went back to the table with her student. I got up and walked out of the library, easily finding Alistair standing by a doorway. I walked passed him and wait for him to join me inside a room.<p>

"Mind explaining what that was about?" he asked as he shut the door behind us.

"I saw her glare in your direction earlier so I'm going to assume that the Templars aren't as strict in their _hands off_ policy as they're supposed to be," I explained simply.

"You didn't have to hit me so hard," he said as he walked closer to me.

"Oh, I don't know…how else was I supposed to get her attention?" I asked as I smiled up at him. "And now we wait."

"For what?" he asked but I could feel the shift even if it wasn't as dramatic as when I was with him at Redcliffe.

"That," I said as I walked back towards the doors. I peeked out and saw Wynne passed the door beside a different, older Knight Commander, judging from the heavy armor that he wore. They were arguing as they passed and I stuck my head out to listen.

"I already told you," I heard her say. "He's not a blood mage and he's not a threat to anyone in the Circle! If you just give me time with him…"

"The boy was obviously unwilling to cooperate, unwilling to learn how to control his magic!" came from the Knight Commander. "I was right to keep a close eye on him. I knew it was only a matter of time before he tried to escape!"

"If you would only let me come with you," Wynne continued to plead. "Perhaps I could persuade him to return…"  
>"I'm afraid that's no longer possible," the Knight Commander interrupted her.<p>

"What do you mean?"

The Knight Commander paused for a few more moments before answering. "The boy resisted and they were forced…"

"You mean you didn't give him the chance to return to the tower," she said softly.

"I know he was your pupil," said the Knight Commander. "I know you tried your best with him."

"Not well enough," Wynne said softly as she walked away from him.

I quickly returned to the room and waited for the Knight Commander to walk past before venturing out into the hallway once more with Alistair following close behind me. I continued down the hallway until I found the one door that was closed and knocked softly.

"Wynne?" I asked softly as I opened the door. "Are you alright?"

"Please leave me alone," she said as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. She looked up at me as I approached the bed and sat beside her, taking her hands in mine.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," I said as I looked at her.

"This has nothing to do with you…"

"No, it doesn't," I said and squeezed her hands. "But I bet this will change who you are and make you into a better, more patient teacher."

"I have no business teaching anyone after this…"

"You had no idea that your pushing would have this effect on him," I interrupted. "But you can't close yourself off because of this. You learn to move past and see that there will be others who need you, even a few who aren't mages."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand…"

"You'll probably laugh when I tell you this," I said as I stood and reached into the pouch of my robe. "But I carried this with me all the way back from Ostagar, thinking at the time that I should give it to you. Only I never found the time and after the battle, I wasn't even sure that you had survived. Little did I know that this simple key would help me find you here."

"Warden, you're not making sense," she said as she got up and walked towards the door.

"Then how did you know to call me that?" I asked as she opened the door. Alistair was standing outside and tried to look past her as he peered into the room.

"Call you what?" she asked.

"Warden," I said. "You called me Warden."

"I didn't…"

"Yes, Wynne, you did," I said as I walked up to her. "You can deny it all you want but somehow I don't think you'll want to continue going through this. Reliving something you regret. But if you stay here, you will die."

"Kat, what are you doing?" Alistair asked but I held my hand up to silence him.

I walked out of her room and walked towards Alistair. "These are your choices, Wynne: death from staying here or you can join us and try to save the Circle tower," I said when I turned to her. "It's your choice. Stay and die, or come with us and _save_ the mages who can still learn from you."

She stood and stared at me and Alistair silently for a few minutes. As I watched, she closed her eyes and slowly began to age. I walked back up to her and handed her the key that I had in my hand. She looked down at it and smirked.

"I wondered where this had gone," she said as she turned it over in her hand. "Do I even want to know?"

"No, you don't," Alistair put in quickly.

"Was any of it real?" she asked.

"It's all from your memory. We're stuck in the Fade," I said as I walked up to her and put my arms around her. "Trust me and close your eyes."

I held my hand out to Alistair and closed my eyes as well. After a few moments, I reopened my eyes and looked around. We were back in the dismay wastes of the Fade.

"Now that we're all together," I said and looked at her. "I need your help getting us back to the tower."

"Wait, why aren't we trying to find Nicolas first?" Alistair asked as he turned to me. "I thought you said whoever stayed behind would die."

I took a deep breath as I turned to him. "Because even if we had something of his, we won't find him," I said simply. "He had been badly wounded when we were trapped here in the Fade. Without help…"

I watched as he stayed silent and hung his head.

"Let's get out here, shall we?" Wynne said and I turned and nodded to her.


	58. Chapter 58

_**This story follows BioWare's DA:O story line and game play, using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly as I have added bits that of my own imagination and characters that are my own. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and suggested sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!**_

_**58**_

I opened my eyes slowly and knew that we were back at the Circle tower. I stifled a groan as I shifted my weight, wondering how long I had lain on the cold floor. I lifted my head and looked around to where I had last seen Alistair and noticed he was lying on his back with his eyes open, blinking slowly. Wynne was slowly turning her body, trying to sit up. I turned back towards the center of the room, not caring that the rough stone scrapped my cheek. It was there that I saw the bodies of Nicolas and a dark haired mage, lying close to the corruption that seemed to have sprouted in the upper levels of the tower. I gritted my teeth as I forced myself to get back onto my feet, ignoring the pain in my shoulder as I lifted my sword and reached for another that was lying on the floor near my feet.

The demon that had trapped us, known as Sloth, was standing by the mage and was still so focused on him that it did not sense my approach until it was too late. I sank both blades deep into the demon's body, crying out as I twisted and yanked them viciously out. Even as the demon turned to me as it fell, I continued to stab at it until Alistair came up behind me and grabbed my arms to stop me. I shrugged him off and turned as Wynne knelt beside Nicolas, placing her fingers on his neck to confirm what I already knew. I flicked my wrists to remove the black demon blood from Alistair's blade before handing it back to him.

"Is he?" Alistair asked as Wynne shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she said and reached out to Alistair for help getting to her feet. "He's gone."

Needing something to do, I knelt beside the mage, turning his head towards me and staring into his lifeless eyes before closing them. I couldn't help but think he had such a sad expression on his face. "He's gone as well," I said as I laid his head back down on the floor carefully. He was clutching a thin book in his hands which I carefully pried from his fingers and handed to Wynne.

"The Litany of Andralla!" Wynne turned the book over in her hands.

"It must be very important," I said as I looked back down at the dead mage. "He died protecting it."

"With this book, we stand a greater chance against blood magic," Wynne said. "Niall must have thought to use it when he got trapped by the Sloth demon."

I watched as Alistair knelt and removed his Warden amulet, and placed it carefully around Nicolas' neck. I looked away as he recited a few final words of the Chant for the fallen Templar. I thought back to how conflicted he had been, being forced to fight his fellow Templars and was convinced that they could still be saved. Even as they came at us with their weapons drawn, he refused to attack them. It wasn't until we came to the last room that he changed. Nicolas had trained under the man we encountered and had reacted violently seeing him being controlled by a demon.

Even as he had been struck himself, he continued to fight until the demon was defeated. When Wynne attempted to tend to his wound, he brushed her off and continued on to the next room when he heard a yell come from inside. It was then that we found the Sloth demon standing over the body of Niall, the mage who had taken the book. I recalled trying to stop him as he rushed in with his sword extended out towards the demon. The demon simply turned to us and I fell to my knees, woozy and light-headed before toppling over to my side. I recalled how in the Fade, I awoke feeling a pain in my shoulder and figured it was from fainting and landing badly on it.

"What's past these doors?" I asked Wynne finally.

"The Templar quarters," she said as she closed the books. "It's not much further until we reach the stairwell to reach the top of the tower."

"What's at the top of the tower?" I asked. "Why would they go there?"

"The Harrowing chamber," she said.

"What's the Harrowing chamber?" I asked as Alistair stood and re-sheathed his sword.

"It's where the mages are tested," he said as he turned to me. "They're sent into the Fade alone to perform some sort of test. Those who fail are cut down and those who pass get to move from the cramped dormitories up to the spacious mage quarters on the second floor."

"Wynne?"

"There's a bit more to it than just that, Alistair," the enchanter confirmed as she looked at us both.

"Is everyone given the same opportunity to be tested?" I asked, knowing full well that they weren't. Having spent time with Jowan, I knew that he had fled the circle when he learned he was going to be made Tranquil. I couldn't imagine a fate worse than being cut off from the one thing that made you who you were.

"Unfortunately that isn't always possible…"

"Wouldn't it be safe to say that perhaps this might not have happened if things changed here in the circle?" I cut in.

"Things aren't always so clear cut, Warden," she replied. "While a few of the mages have turned to blood magic out of desperation, some like Uldred have done so willingly and that puts everyone in danger."

"Perhaps if things were different, the mages would not feel the need for blood magic," Alistair said hesitantly. I turned to him and smiled.

"In an ideal world, that might be true," she said and sighed. "But there will always be those who desire power above all else. And once they achieve it, they will use it to attempt to rule over us all."

"In an ideal world, mages would be accepted for what they were," I said and looked back at her. "Not locked up in a cage, forgotten until they are needed to honor a treaty against a greater enemy."

Wynne simply bowed her head at me and I walked away from them, hoping that the faster we could resolve this, the faster we could leave this all behind us. There was little I could do to argue my feelings for the mages with one who was content with her life here in the circle.

-)(-

Before moving on, I insisted on a short break so we could rest up. I had Alistair make sure the door on the far side of the chamber was securely barred from the inside while I pulled the bed sheets off a large bed. The room most likely belonged to the Knight-Commander but at the moment, I didn't care if it belonged to the Divine herself. I dragged the sheets back to the other room and used them to drape over both Nicolas and Niall. I didn't like leaving them there on the cold stone floor but knew there was little we could do for them until this was over.

Nicolas had insisted on coming with us once Alistair and I had won our case with Knight-Commander Greagoir. He knew that once we went through the doors leading to the mage dormitories, nothing short of ridding the tower of the abominations would guarantee the doors would be opened to us once more. And in order to fulfill our reason for coming to the tower, we would need to find as many mages to help fight against the darkspawn. He was quick to point out that the quicker we rescued the First Enchanter, the quicker we could return with him to the inn before heading back to Redcliffe. At the time, I didn't think to correct him that only Alistair and I would be returning with the First Enchanter and hopefully a few of the mages. He was supposed to return to his duties here at the Circle tower.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this," I said softly as I covered Nicolas.

"You didn't know things would come to this, Kat," Alistair said from the doorway, startling me.

"No, but I should have insisted that he stay with the remaining Templars," I said as I turned and looked up at him. I waited until he turned and left me alone before turning to cover the mage. Earlier I thought I had heard the distinct sound of glass when I moved Niall's body and found a few vials of lyrium stashed in his belt. I placed them gently in my pack to give to Wynne before draping the other sheet over the mage and returning to Alistair and Wynne.

I dropped my pack on the bed and pulled out my skin of water, pulling the stopper out and squeezing some into my mouth. I offered it to Wynne and sat down on the bed, pulling off my leather gloves and placing them beside me. I then reached into my pack for a cooling salve to use on my sore shoulder. Alistair sat on the far side of the bed and leaned against the headboard.

"There are so few windows here in the tower," I stated as I slowly pulled out the small wrapped clay pot. "I wonder how long we were unconscious." I pondered as I sniffed the contents of the salve before scooping a small amount and tried spreading as much of it under my armor, onto my shoulder as I could.

"It couldn't have been more than a few hours," Wynne said as she approached me. "May I?" she asked as she picked up the jar and I nodded.

"Wouldn't it be easier if Wynne healed you?" Alistair asked as I wiped the remaining amount from my hands onto a rag that I pulled out of my bag.

"If the First Enchanter is being held on the top floor with the remaining mages, I'd rather she save her magic until it's something more serious than a sore shoulder," I said as I rotated my shoulder and feeling the salve slowly take effect.

"Did you make this yourself, Warden?" Wynne asked as she handed the pot back to me. I wrapped it up tight and placed it back into my pack, nodding as I pulled out an apple and took a bite. I tossed Alistair the last apple, knowing he was mostly likely as hungry as I was. Wynne handed me the skin back and shook her head when I offered her some of the remaining provisions from my pack.

"You seem surprised," I said when I swallowed the piece of fruit.

"It's not something that most people your age would take the time to learn," she said simply.

I looked at her as I took another bite and rested my hand on my thigh, chewing the piece before answering. "It's a handy skill to know," was all I said as I finished the fruit, wishing there was more time to eat my fill. Instead I took a little more of the water and re-corked it before placing it back in my pack.

"Indeed it is," she agreed.

"Take this," I said as I handed her the vials that I took from Niall. "I don't know what to expect once we reach the top floor. It's likely that it will only be Uldred with a few of his trusted followers. I'm sure he thinks that with the abominations running lose, he is free to do as he pleases. I hate to ask now how much more offensive magic you know."

Wynne chuckled as she placed the vials of lyrium safely in her robes pouch. "I've been known to handle myself quite well in dangerous situations. I would never have considered offering to go to Ostagar otherwise."

"There was a mage with us at the Tower of Ishal," I said but realized that in my haste to reach the tower and complete my task, I never asked for his name. "He was very brave, joining us as we ventured into the tower," I said and sighed. "I only wish I had asked his name."

"We lost many comrades on both sides, Warden," Wynne said as she reached over and patted my arm. "We honor them by continuing to fight for what is right."

"I hope to honor him by finding the First Enchanter and freeing him," I said as I moved closer to the edge of the bed and stood. Alistair moved off the bed and joined me at my side.

"Let's finish this. I have a score to settle with Uldred."


End file.
